From the Confessional: This is What We Really Need

From The Confessional: Moms Are Burnt–The–F*ck–Out

May 19, 2020 Updated July 10, 2020

confessional-This-is-What-We-Really-Need
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If there’s one thing moms tend to really suck at, it’s stating our own needs. We buzz around caring for everyone else until we’re too tired to function and eventually pass out in front of Netflix, only to get up and do it all over again the next day. Well, it’s time to stop that shit and actually recognize that we, too, are human beings with basic needs that must be met. Or else our families aren’t going to get the best versions of us.

Particularly doing this trying quarantine when so many of us are working from home and homeschooling and stressing about getting COVID-19 or our loved ones getting COVID-19 and wondering how we’ll pay the bills when the money isn’t coming in… now more than ever we must assert our own needs to our spouses and kids and employers and friends. We “need” to quit being martyrs and take better care of our own selves.

How about you? What are your needs? See if they made our confessional list!

Confessional #25780973

“I want a whole day when someone brings me every meal and I don’t have to decide what it will be or cook it, like the rest of my family.”

We need a break from doing all the things—especially feeding everyone.

Confessional #25780971

“I needed a friend this morning. I reached out and got a response that equates to 'that sucks'. Being blown off by someone I thought cared about me almost hurts worse than what caused me to reach out in the first place. Never again.”

Confessional #25778695

“I’m really struggling right now and I need someone to help me make sense of life. I feel like I have nobody to lean on.”

We need good, true friends. Or at least just someone to talk to.

Confessional #25780940

“DD 5 yrs pointed to a grassy hill of dandelions and exclaimed “Look mama at all the pretty flowers!” It took me a few secs to realize she was talking about weeds. I agreed that they were pretty. It’s all about perspective. I needed that reminder today”

We need reminders from our kids to see the beauty out there.

Confessional #25778674

“I am not ok. I need human interaction outside of my fam. Never thought I would feel this way”

Some of us really need to interact with the world.

Confessional #25780831

“I love my DH, but after quarantine I need a very, very long break from him. I never want to spend this much time together ever again.”

Confessional #25780310

“I need a break.. working from home full time with two elem aged kids with constant zoom calls and shit.. driving to and from work used to the only time I had to myself. Fuck.”

Confessional #25779813

“I can always count on husband going to bed at 8:30pm every night. I love it. But for some reason he is staying up 'til 10:00 tonight. Ugh. I need my ME time! Go to bed already!”
We need a break from our families. Like YESTERDAY. And we need some major me time.

Confessional #25780744

“My mom guilts me about not seeing the grandkids every time we talk. So I just think we’re going to not talk for a while. I don’t need that in my life.”

We need to not be burdened with guilt when we are exhausted and doing our best.

Confessional #25780689

“I give my 5yo twins melatonin every night so they fall asleep at a decent hour. Otherwise they keep each other awake all night. Mama needs quiet time.”

Confessional #25778595

“I need a break from my kids before I become one of the moms on the news. Its 3:58 I've barely slept and been up since 2:30. Please just fucking sleep , in your own beds , atleast stop moving. I'm going to lose my mind!!!”

We need our kids to go the fuck to sleep.

Confessional #25780342

“Have to remind myself to forgive and love myself constantly.grew up being made to feel Sorry for my existence have chosen abusive assholes in all relationships. I see this I can stop this and make changes! Need therapy patience SELF love and fulfillment”
We need to love ourselves.

Confessional #25780734

“I need my husband to go back to working in an office so he doesn't give me shit about wanting to sit and relax while DS2 takes his nap.”
We need our lives back.

Confessional #25777766

“I have a dental infection that is making me sick. I don’t have the money to pay double to get a dentist to check it. I desperately need this pandemic to end, so they open up regularly - and I still might not be able to afford it.”
We need the resources to care for our own health.

Confessional #25780642

“I just want my kids to go for a sleepover and to watch porn with my husband and f$&k all over the house.”

Confessional #25778653

“I need a good O! And not one that I have to do myself!!”

Confessional #25778175

“H has been deployed since last fall. I’m tired of the vibe, I need a real life dick. Hurry up and get home!”
We need some good, hot, sweaty sex, or at the very least a good O.

Confessional #25778464

“I sometimes have to remind DH that I went to college and he didn’t, so I don’t need him to mansplain everything to me. Pisses me off more that it makes me feel like an uppity bitch. He’s the one who needs to check himself.”
We need to have our intelligence valued and respected, and to not be mansplained to.

Confessional #25778557

“That's enough... 15 months old DS just tried to stand up and nurse at the same time. I need my space and my body back. I'm done. I wanted to go ALAP bcuz hes the last but nope. 15months is long enough.”
We need to take our bodies back when we’re ready, and feel zero guilt.

Confessional #25778702

“It's 3am and H and I have guzzled two bottles of wine, eaten a box of chocolates, and been playing Lego Harry Potter for hours. Don't even feel bad, we need the downtime!”
And finally, we need the freedom to just… be free. Of parenting responsibilities. Of hearing “Mommy Mommy Mommy” 900 times a day. Of being everything for everyone.
Can we have all of our needs met all the time? Likely not, especially during a pandemic. But that doesn’t mean we stick ourselves permanently to the back burner either. That doesn’t mean we make everyone else happy and forget about what makes us happy. That doesn’t mean we ignore our own physical and mental health or suppress our sexual desires or hide the fact that sometimes we are just too damn touched out.
We love our families and want to be the best moms and wives we can be, but the only way to do that is to remember that we have needs too.