It Feels Like No One Else Sees Messes But Moms, And We're Sick Of This Sh*t

by Karen Johnson
Originally Published: 

Times are definitely changing, friends. If you peeked into windows of households across America today, you’d see men vacuuming, folding laundry, and cooking dinner far more than in generations past. (Only don’t peek into other people’s windows—that’s creepy. And illegal.) But the point is, the 1950s June Cleaver mentality that it was “women’s work” to do all the scrubbing and dusting and tidying while the men came home from work at 5, put their feet up, and were “done for the day” is archaic and dying out.

That ludicrous image just isn’t the reality for today’s households (and tbh, it wasn’t the reality for lots of families back then either). Today’s moms are bringing home the paychecks, alongside their partners. And today’s dads are changing diapers and emptying the dishwasher more than ever before.


We still have a long way to go, don’t we? Even though we aren’t expected to cook a roast while wearing lipstick and heels and keep our homes spotless anymore, women far too often still take on the lion’s share of the household chores. Whether it’s because we don’t know how to ask for help, we’re ignored when we do, or our family members simply don’t “see” the mess, it can drive us to the brink when we scrub the kitchen clean at 10 p.m., only to see it trashed by 8 a.m. the next morning.

The truth is, we need our families to step up in a big way and help out more. It shouldn’t still fall on women to be the primary when it comes to cleaning chores. We’re doing it all (in case you somehow missed it)—working, raising the children, managing the household, and over the past year, we’re also teachers since kids worldwide have been attending school virtually. So we’re gonna need you, fam, to pick up a dust rag, put your dirty cup in the dishwasher, and hang up your damn coats.

We’re fucking tired.

feel like the kids know me better than h does. all i wanted for v day was help/clean house. kids did those things, even told them no flowers, what's h do, exact opposite of what i wanted, geezus, they listen better than your 40 y/o ass!

Confessional #25821627

Want to hire someone to deep clean my house once a month or so. SAHM & always felt it's MY job to keep the house clean, & always felt like shit about our messy house. Now IDGAF!!! H & teen boys are SLOBS! H doesn't help- least he can do is pay for it.

Confessional #25823294

SO and I work full-time. He goes to the office and I work from home. He expects me to clean, do laundry, garden, mend, etc. and have a hot meal on the table when he comes home on top of my work. Fuck him.

Confessional #25822995

I would LOVE to spend just one weekend like my husband does- sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing while ignoring everyone. But then there would be two parents doing that and my kids and pets would suffer. Plus I'd have a pigsty to clean come Monday.

Confessional #25822972

Unfortunately, lots of husbands out there still don’t see the value in helping with household chores. It makes us feel invisible, taken for granted, and frankly, bitter AF.

I now do only my own laundry. If toddler unemployed gamer H wants clean clothes, he knows how the washing machine works.

Confessional #25823093

H just threw a huffy mini fit because I blocked the tv while vacuuming. One, he has seen Saving Private Ryan literally 100 times. Two, he could've paused it. Three, I have to clean so often in the first place because of him. Good grief! Fucking child.

Confessional #25821891

Went to bed after cleaning up the kitchen. Awoke at 4 AM to start me day and came down to a dirty kitchen. 3rd time this week. Woke the whole house up doing the dishes as loudly as I could. Everyone can just eff-off. I am not the servant here.

Confessional #25822642

Fuck these assholes that expect me to cook and clean every freaking meal and none of them do a damn thing to help.

Confessional #25819461

When our families expect us to do it all and don’t help out around the house, it make us feel like servants, rather than appreciated, hard-working moms and partners.

I clean the same things over and over again and I’m loosing my mind. How does no one else see it needs to be cleaned? Why is it always me?!

Confessional #25823138

The house that I just spent (wasted) an entire day off cleaning is already getting messy again. I hate this. I want to live by myself. :(

Confessional #25822115

I swear to fucking christ, if I have to clean this bathroom one more motherfucking time today, I'm going to majorly lose my shit!

Confessional #25823113

I’m not the only one to use the toilets in this house so why the fuck am I the only one to clean them?!

Confessional #25821857

Knowing that everyone else walks past the mess all damn day, but none of them “see it” (conveniently) makes us spit fire. And then they have the nerve to ask why we’re mad.

I'm exhausted, so tired of cleaning and doing laundry, it never ever stops. If I take a break it just means I'll have more to do later and it will take even longer. I just want to SLEEP

Confessional #25822237

I just don't want to do this anymore- I don't want to cook, or clean, or do laundry, or give a shit about my kids schooling, or be fake happy & nice, or pretend I give a fuck about my marriage. I'm so fucking burned out & I don't care enough to fix it.

Confessional #25823075

This pandemic is crushing me bc I work, take care of kids, clean the house, cook, etc. It crushed my husband bc he had to miss a vacation. I just can’t anymore with entitled male behavior.

Confessional #25822866

I cannot handle cleaning my house AGAIN! Every day it's the same thing. Over and over and over again.

Confessional #25821674

Because the truth is, we’re burnt the fuck out. This pandemic has sucked every last bit of life force from us, and we are running on fumes. Seriously, the next time I trip over someone’s shoes because it was too much to ask for that person to put them on the shoe rack, and instead, they’d rather risk Mom spraining her ankle while she carries an overflowing laundry basket, I swear I’m going to get in my car and drive to a faraway land where all the shoes are put on the shoe rack and all the coats are hung on coat hooks and there are no dirty spoons and cereal bowls and cups left all over the counters. I don’t know if that place exists (it probably doesn’t), but I’m gonna look reeeeeeally hard.


I’m going.

This article was originally published on