From The Confessional: The Field That Holds Our F*cks Is Barren This Winter

by Karen Johnson

“Oh the weather outside is frightful…”

That’s it. No need for the rest of the song. It’s cold AF out there, your face hurts while you’re getting the mail, and your car doesn’t warm up until you pull into the parking lot of wherever you’re going.

Sorry Jon Snow, but winter isn’t coming. It’s here—at least for those of us in the North or Midwest anyway. It’s officially snow boots and winter hat season, and where I live, it doesn’t end until April.

And, for extra fun, we’re in a pandemic this winter, so germ fears are at an all-time high. And while yeah, COVID-19 means we leave the house less and brave frigid temps on fewer occasions, it also means being stuck inside more than ever, which can be problematic for our mental health as we all fight cabin fever.

So if you find yourself searching “houses for sale in southern California” every February and spew streams of obscenities every time you have to shovel your driveway at 6 a.m., we get it. Sure, fresh snowfalls are pretty. And yeah, the holidays are merry. But in a million other ways, the short days and long weeks of winter can really suck. And COVID-19 winters?! The woooooooorst.

I get every cold, probably get sick at least 2-3 times per winter. Sick again today. Not sure how someone would like me would know I had coronavirus. So annoying.

Confessional #25771556

Dh and dd are coughing. My only thought is - DO NOT get ds sick. He's the one who goes from slight cold to emergency room sick in 24 hours. Fuck winter. Fuck germs.

Confessional #25766929

I have been so sick this winter. Flu colds, sinus infection. Now I'm pretty sure I have high blood pressure too. I have got to figure out how to take better care of myself. Time starts now.

Confessional #22566177

Even in a non-pandemic year, one of the first things we think of as we approach winter is germs. Our family gets the stomach flu every damn winter and we pass it around like candy. Then add in an extra special mix of boogers and random, unexplained fevers, and well, yeah, winter in our house = weekly Walgreens trips and lots of disinfectant.

I’m obsessed with stocking my pantry and freezer for the upcoming winter. I’m worried it’s going to be a shitshow.

Confessional #25797786

I am sick of on-line school. My kids are good students but they need a lot of structure to stay focused. It's like trying to catch Jello with a sieve and I'm already up to my ass in crazy with DS4 who NEVER. STOPS. MOVING. And now winter is coming. Fuck.

Confessional #25801164

Going back into de facto lockdown for an entire winter with these kids is either going to give me one hell of a sense of humor, or a motherfucking breakdown.

Confessional #25801673

But this year is worse than ever. COVID means quarantine, which means nothing to look forward to. No big holiday get togethers, no visits with Santa, no school parties or neighborhood cookie swaps or holiday open houses. Just month after month of staring at the same family members we’ve been hunkered down with since March, reliving Groundhog Day for all eternity.

Being a SAHM in the winter in KS is like being in jail. A jail where you also have to do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and the warden is incredibly demanding and speaks a different language.

Confessional #25769593

When DH got home last night, I locked myself in my room and chugged a beer. Came out feeling much better lol. Being stuck inside the house with 2 toddlers in the Midwest winter is no fuckin joke y'all

Confessional #25765029

DH is off work again. Midwest winter. SAHM. Weeks home with him. I feel like I’m about to star in my own episode of Snapped.

Confessional #21837872

My toddler is watching way too much TV these days but I'm so burned out I don't even care. SAHM with no family and a DH that never stops working. Just doing what I can to survive these long winter days.

Confessional #21757716

Stay-at-home parents face unique struggles in the winter, being cooped up with orangutan babies swinging from the chandeliers who endlessly spill orange juice on the kitchen floor. SAHPs need zoo trips and park visits and nature walks to help their kids burn energy so they’ll take those blessed naps. But in winter, several days might pass when a mom or dad cannot take their kids outside because of the cold or because it gets dark at like 3:00 in the freaking afternoon. And that can make for some of the darkest days of parenting (literally).

My winter depression is turning me into a huge bitch. I feel bad, but my usual “tools aren’t working this year. Maybe my husband will finally seriously consider moving.”

Confessional #21911752

I really want to live in San Diego. Is this possible? Can be people afford this? So sick of winter.

Confessional #21750465

I live in the Midwest and have always struggled through the long winters, but it’s been especially hard this year with DS4 and DS2 stuck in the house. I have to move. I can’t live like this anymore. I need to be outside.

Confessional #21270252

It’s gray and freezing out. Won’t be warm again for months. My SIL said “I don’t mind,I like a change of seasons. Really? You enjoy it going from pleasant to shitty for 4 months? Screw that, moron. Winter lovers can go to hell. I’m moving.”

Confessional #21052013

Some of us truly enjoy living in a place with all four seasons, but damn those winters can be long. So maybe after 10 straight subzero days in late January, we might find ourselves perusing real estate in Arizona… even if it’s just a dream to help warm up our chilly bones.

Another reason I hate winter... parking ban's!! No parking ever on my side of the street because neighbor's have to park like assholes and make sure no one but them parks here

Confessional #25760289

Here we go with my husband's winter weather obsession. The world better shut up so he can watch it every hour on the hour. It's not fucking changing, babe. Yay me.

Confessional #25758655

Why do other women look so cute in winter hats? I look like a serial killer.

Confessional #21191068

I love having smooth legs. BUT Goosebumps = instant stubble Winter = instant Goosebumps Which means total fucking waste of time to shave in the winter.

Confessional #25757957

There are lots of reasons to hate winter—from parking restrictions to annoying spouses obsessing over the forecast to the fact that we look like lumberjacks in our 72 layers of winter gear.

But it doesn’t last forever. Eventually the sun stays out past 5 and the snowmen and icicles all melt and we stop getting frostbite when we put out the trash. Until then, hang in there. Make some hot tea, snuggle up for your 986th family movie, and read a book or do a puzzle. Spring will be here in a few months, along with (maybe? hopefully?) a vaccine, and then we can all emerge from hibernation, shave off our winter fur, and meet up at the park. Until then, we’ll be at home, under a blanket, and we’ll see you on Zoom.