The Funniest Parents Of Twitter Talk The 'Joys' Of Christmas Shopping For Kids

by Valerie Williams
Originally Published: 
Image via Twitter

Christmas shopping for kids can be a lot of fun. It’s a blast reliving your own childhood by searching out fun toys for your kids that you can surprise them with on Christmas morning. However, any seasoned parent knows that for every fun moment, there are 17 pain-in-the-ass moments. Tracking down that hot item your kid claims their Christmas will be ruined without. Trying to maintain the “Santa” story and giving him all the credit for your hard work. Spending so much money on gifts and hours wrapping them only to have it all over in a crazed cyclone of paper and boxes. As the season draws to a close and your frustration reaches its peak, allow the funny parents of Twitter to relieve you with a few well-earned laughs about the annoyances of buying gifts for your kids.

1. Just give up and shop for yourself.

Shopping for the kids got you down? Buy yourself a little something. And maybe another little something. Hmmm….new Ugg boots? Yes, please.

2. It’s a little ironic.

It’s funny how we go to such great lengths and spend so much coin to impress tiny people who have no concept of money or status. Funny. And a bit maddening. It’s really just best to not overthink it.

3. So tempting to be the “cool” parent.

You both agree on an amount to spend, but it’s easy to want to go overboard and be the favorite parent. Just understand you might no longer be the favorite spouse once your partner catches wind of your plan.

4. Socks. Underwear. Toilet paper?

We all want to create that massive “gift explosion” under the tree and make it as magical as possible but it gets costly buying that many actual gifts. This is one time where it’s best to take advantage of how easy it is to please a small child. Toilet paper would probably be a big hit with the pre-school set. Wrap it up!

5. Their list rarely matches ours.

We start out with the best of intentions for educational toys but after hearing them rattle off 23 different battery-operated items to the mall Santa, those intentions are replaced by insistent beeps and sirens. ‘Tis the season to be merry. And maybe a little wine-drunk.

6. No one deserves it more.

While completing our children’s wish lists, we have to consider the most important people in their lives. And giving them exactly what they deserve. Here’s to a new year spent tolerating our kids, teachers! Cheers!

7. For all that money, we should get something.

Watching the total add up can be incredibly stressful. A balloon would be nice. Or maybe a flask full of bourbon. A parent can dream, right?

8. Their capacity to believe is crucial.

Thanks to Amazon Prime, those towers of boxes arriving over the next week are a fixture in most homes. Luckily, kids are so busy being excited for Santa they hopefully won’t make the connection between the sudden permanence of the UPS guy in the driveway and the most wonderful time of the year.

9. It requires 72 trips, at least.

Gift bags, tape to replace yours since the kids stole it, one last teacher gift, stocking stuffers you forgot about — the reasons to gravitate to the red bulls-eye are practically endless this time of year. But how sweet when the employees pretend you have your shit together and won’t be back 22 hours later.

10. That’s one way to end your shopping hell.

When all else fails, hope that your child has the ingenuity to figure out how to amass tons of gifts without you so much as setting foot in the mall. That would be the real Christmas miracle.

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