A Golden Girls-Themed Version Of Clue Is Coming

by Valerie Williams
Image via USAopoly

You’re going to want to buy “Golden Girls” Clue the moment it’s available

Hold on to your shoulder pads and rock-hard perms — there’s a new version of the board game Clue coming out and the heavens must be shining down on us, because it’s “Golden Girls”-themed.

No, we’re not kidding. Yes, we’ll tell you where to find it.

The game company USAopoly is responsible for this miraculous news as they’ve created a game where you can help Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia and Rose discover “WHO ate the last piece cheesecake, WHAT they left at the scene of the crime, and WHICH room they did it in.”

Image via USAopoly

Oh. My. God. We’re literally squealing with excitement.

There are cards of each character along with two mystery men and sit down right now if you think you get to be Blanche, because I’m already calling it.

Image via USAopoly

Photographer: Stuart

The game board features a layout of our favorite sassy seniors’ swank Miami pad and includes all of their bedrooms, the lanai, the spacious bathroom, the living room and the kitchen from where Sophia ruthlessly doled out her sickest burns.

Image via USAopoly

The best part might be the game tokens — hairspray, a sexy robe (Blanche’s?), lipstick, a shoe, a wicker chair, and Sophia’s purse.

Image via USAopoly

There are rumor cards featuring the possible suspects, weapons and crime scene locations. The game also includes distraction cards, which we can only hope will feature some of Rose’s signature meandering stories, Blanche’s various sexual conquests, Sophia’s biting insults and Dorothy’s iconic eye rolls. So far, my money is on Sophia in the kitchen with her wicker purse. Or maybe Blanche in her bedroom with the hairspray? So many possibilities, all of them thrilling.

Nostalgia is huge right now with shows from when us moms were kids, and along with fun Lego sets and figurines, we can add this amazing game to our pile of grown-up toys. Because why should kids get all the fun stuff while we’re stuck with buying boring crap like curtains and shapewear? We’re human too, last we checked.

We literally can’t wait for this game to be available for purchase. It’s “coming soon” and we have to say, it can’t happen soon enough.