For those of us who came of age watching — and then re-watching — Titanic, the scene where Rose and Jack have sex in a car was a major moment in our sexual awakening. (That unrealistically graceful maneuvering between positions in the confines of a backseat! That heavy breathing! That handprint!) But as soon as we had the chance to try it out ourselves, we very quickly learned that the steamy Titanic car sex scene was just another example of movie magic. In reality, things get a little more complicated (so many limbs, so little room), and as a result, decidedly less sexy. Knowing how to have sex in a car takes practice. On the plus side, that practice is pretty fun.
Especially now that you’re a parent, you may want to spice up your sex life and the monotony of your usual sexual routine. Maybe even add a new type of escapade to the repertoire. Enter car sex! But either through experience or hearsay, you know it’s not as comfortable as sex on a soft mattress. Luckily, there are a few ways around this. Here are some tips for how to have sex in a car that will make the whole sexy experience a lot hotter.
When it comes to car sex, finding a position and getting comfy (well, as comfy as possible in a car) is key. The idea here is to maximize the little space you have. “Recline the seat back as far as it goes, have it lying all the way down, or try having sex in the trunk or the bed of the truck for added comfort,” relationship coach Carmel Jones tells Cosmopolitan.
Keep It Quick
There are times for long, drawn-out sex sessions… and then there’s car sex. As Amanda Chatel writes for Bustle, “Typically, cars are for quickies, so it’s best to go into the experience with speed in mind. This works well if you’re looking to hookup with your partner on your lunch break, or before heading back home to your parents’ house after a date. But speed is also helpful when you don’t want to get caught, which is something you’ll definitely want to avoid.”
But Be Mindful of How Fast You Move
Even if you’re using the car to squeeze in a quickie, you don’t want to move so fast that the entire experience is a literal pain in the ass — in the heat of passion, a gear shift jabbing you in the backside could very well be a consequence. Prior to getting hot and heavy, take a mental inventory of potential hazards: the emergency brake, the gear shifter, that overhead light, etc.
Passenger Seat is Your Friend
Obviously, the sprawling real estate the backseat offers is best. But if yours is taken up with car seats, kid’s toys, and hundreds of stale Cheerios tucked between the cushions, then you have to improvise. Between the passenger side and driver’s seat, the former is the most comfortable choice for getting down. Lean the seat back as far as it goes and have your partner climb on top. You can’t go buck wild with fancy positions, but the tight quarters will lead to a more intimate romp.
Car sex is frequently spontaneous, but if you’re planning on having it, dress for the occasion. No, we don’t mean a fancy outfit — more like garments that make you and your partner easily accessible. Examples include dresses or skirts, or pants with an elastic band. It’s all about quick and easy access.
Sexy lingerie is sexy alright, but garter belts, extra strappy thongs, and mesh bodysuits can wreck your momentum and have you wasting precious minutes fidgeting with buttons, zippers, and clasps. If you still want to go the lingerie route go for crotchless undergarments and easy-to-open fasteners.
Car Sex Positions
Not all positions translate from the bedroom into the car. This is when you kiss the Lotus and the Spread Eagle goodbye. If you’re opting for the passenger seat, recline it and try Cowgirl position — either regular or reverse — or the missionary position. Getting busy in the backseat gives you more options because you can lay down a bit more (note for parents: if you can remove the carseats, do so). These include Doggy, the Om, and the Reverse Scoop, according to Women’s Health. Also, don’t forget oral sex! Going down on your partner in the backseat can be really hot and fun.
Park Somewhere Private
Sure, part of the thrill of car sex is the possibility of getting caught, but in reality, you really don’t want to get caught because having sex in public is usually considered a misdemeanor. Play it safe by waiting until it’s dark outside and parking somewhere secluded (like, umm, your garage if you’re a parent). But first, make sure the kids are asleep and the garage door is closed. You can still have the excitement of car sex but without the threat of arrest. A win-win.
Best Cars for Car Sex
Obviously, when it comes to car sex, you can only be so picky. “Your place or mine?” applies to cars, too, though. So, when you’re trying to choose whose car to violate, there are a few things to consider. Your first choice should always be a truck if one of you drives one. Even if it’s not a giant extended or crew cab, it offers more room. Trucks have more cabin height which is a bigger necessity than you think. They also have bench seats, more open foot areas and, as previously mentioned, beds. Those same reasons are why an SUV is your next best option. Deciding between a minivan and a sedan? Answer this: Are you taking the kids to school tomorrow in that van? If so, go with your car, instead. No matter how careful you are, sex always leaves evidence — a smell, a stain, a forgotten undergarment, or heaven forbid, a condom.
If you decide you truly enjoy car sex and want to do more of it, you might even think about maybe a few tiny tweaks to your car in anticipation. One idea? Privacy curtains. You just need a few strips of velcro from the local craft store (preferably in the same tone as your car’s interior so it’s discreet) and some fabric that can easily be stashed in the trunk or beneath the seat of your car. When you’re parked and things start to heat up, slap the fabric up so you can get down.
Keep it in Park
Getting or giving head while driving might seem like a cool idea… but it can also be incredibly distracting to the driver (for obvious reasons). Above all, you want to be safe and make it home. With that said, keep all cunnilingus and sexual activity reserved for when the engine is off.
Dress the Part
It is so hard getting into jeans sometimes. And isn’t taking off rompers, like, the worst? If you’re planning on getting freaky in the backseat with bae tonight, wear something that has easy access. A dress or skirt is the best attire because not only do you get to keep a lot of your clothes on, but it also makes the sex more discreet. The last thing you want to do is be busted with your, ahem, everything out on the car seat. Stick with easy-access clothing for a quick escape.
Use the Seatbelts
Into bondage? Seatbelts are used for more than just safety. Remember to stay in-tune with your partner’s boundaries and limits during this sex-tracurricular activity, but use those certified straps to tie your hand to the car seat or to just restrict your movement as your partner takes over. The small space and limited mobility can actually make penetration pretty intense.
Play with the Mirrors
Does it turn you on to watch yourself during sex? Well, people have mirrors on their bedroom ceilings for a reason. If you’re trying to peek at what you and your boo look like from different angles, tilt the car mirrors toward whenever you’re having the show. They can give you a great view of yourself and your partner from many different angles.
If your car has a sunroof, put it to use. Not only is this a super cool feature on the car, but it can also be super helpful during fellatio. First, make sure both of you aren’t in a super public space (preferably nighttime). Have your partner stick their head and upper half out of the sunroof, which gives you direct access to their privates. Things can definitely get intense when it’s just you down there, especially since you’d have complete dominion of their lower half. Just make sure they don’t accidentally hit the sunroof close button in their excitement!
Seriously, though, why have sex in a car?
It generally comes down to two reasons: Either it’s something both you and your partner generally enjoy (you naughty little exhibitionists, you), or you literally don’t have another choice. You might be parents and the car you’re having sex in is (off) and parked in the garage — but, hey, it’s far enough away and sound-proof enough to allow you a few minutes of quality time without waking up the kids. Or maybe you’re in the hot-and-heavy dating stage where everything is a turn-on, but your parents are visiting from out of town and staying in your guest room. Parking the car somewhere remote sounds much more appealing than trying to get it on under the same roof, yeah?