Besides saying the actual words “I do,” writing your vows is probably one of the most stressful parts of getting married. How do you put into words how you feel about your beloved without coming across as a complete idiot? While summing up your hopes and dreams and undying love for your partner is a difficult and daunting task — writer’s block is a real thing, after all — it’s not impossible. Below are some helpful tips on how to write wedding vows so you can perfectly articulate just how you feel about your special someone.
1. Who is this person to you?
Your best friend? Your college sweetheart? Your on-and-off partner who you finally made things right with? Think about your love story, and then try to find a statement or two that best defines your special connection.
2. What do you love most about your partner?
What are some of your favorite traits about your partner? What do you admire about them? What are some of their lovable quirks that you adore? What do you love doing together?
3. How has your significant other changed you?
How have they helped you become a better person? How have they helped you with your journey both as an individual and as a couple?
4. What do you love about your story?
What are some of the highlights of your relationship? What struggles did you overcome? What triumphs did you celebrate together? What moments stand out for you that helped you see that this person was The One for you? Personal stories immediately make your vows personal (duh!) but also more real and grounded with authenticity. If you’ve been through some bumps, don’t shy away from those times. In fact, it’s through our trials that love grows. You don’t have to be super specific but adding a dosage or realness to your vows will make them even that more special.
5. How did you know they were The One?
Was it a gut feeling? A particular moment that stands out? Did you just always know?
6. What do you want your future love story to look like?
When you think of the future between you and your love, what do you want to see? What do you want to co-create together? What are your biggest hopes and dreams?
7. What promises are you vowing to make those dreams a reality?
Vows are simply beautiful intentions that we are making to help the dreams that we share with our partners to come true. What are some specific promises that you want to make to your partner to show them that you are committed to them and your future together as a couple? You can be as sappy or silly as you want. For example, “I vow to always support you” or “I vow to never look at my phone while you’re talking to me.” While it’s easy to go the funny route — which you definitely should — don’t rely solely on the funny. Reach for the love. Go for the vulnerability. What are you truly willing to do for your partner?
8. Acknowledge how you will need support.
Marriages are tough! It will be work. Which is why you will need the love and support from those closest to you — who are probably witnessing your vows. Include the role of family and friends, or a higher power, that you will need to lean on when things get rough.
9. Wrap up with an “I love you” or something more.
Nothing quite beats an “I love you”, which is a wonderful way to wrap things up. Or, you could extend another promise and hope of what the beautiful future will bring for both of you. But, really, saying, “I love you unconditionally and always will” is pretty sweet.
Remember: your vows don’t have to follow a certain template or structure — and you certainly don’t have to include every single detail about your relationship. Writing your wedding vows is about connecting to your heart and expressing yourself in the most authentic way possible. So don’t rush the process! And remember that you can’t get it wrong.
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