From The Confessional: My Husband Needs To Go Back To The F*cking Office

by Cassandra Stone
Rearview shot of an unrecognizable young woman looking distressed with her husband in the background

After a year of everyone working from home, these moms are O-V-E-R I-T

Living at home, working from home, raising kids at home, helping them attend school from home, and keeping up on all the things that need upkeep in the home for over a year is, well, killing us. Spending all of that time with your spouse or partner is honestly just unnatural and bad for the human condition.

And these moms are taking to our Confessional to tell us just how OVER IT they all are. From chewing too loudly, to burping and farting and ball-scratching all day, these wives are absolutely ready for the men in their lives to go back to the office already!

My work from home hubs is ALWAYS AROUND and I need my spaceeeee. We never have sex and barely get along. I need him to go away sometimes.

Confessional #25829161

I can’t fucking stand when my husband decides he is going to work from home “today Go to the office!!! FFS!!!! geez-us.”

Confessional #25828946

Fully vaccinated h needs to get the FUCK back to his office. I can not stand another day of keeping the kids quiet so he can work from home.

Confessional #25828263

One common thing that a lot of women have discussed during the pandemic is the fact that their husbands need peace and quiet, a closed office, and to basically pretend they’re not even home during their work day but totally expect their wives to work amid the chaos AND keep the kids from “bothering” their dad.

And to that, we say, OH HELL NO.

My dh has been work from home for over a year now and I need him to get the fuck out of my house before I lose my mind. Stop taking so many breaks; always shitting and/or eating.

Confessional #25826950

DH has no friends and it’s negatively impacting both of us. He expects me to fulfill all of his friend needs and acts passive aggressive for days when I see my friends. We both work from home and I see him 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I need a break!

Confessional #25823590

I'm ready for a break. Even though September the kids go back to school, dh will continue to work from home. I hate him.

Confessional #25821821

Ever since DH started to work from home I have lost control over our 2 yr old and 4 yr old because he babies they're fucking tantrums. I AM MISERABLE. Fuck you COVID! I want my husband TF out out during work hours!!

Confessional #25815148

If you’ve been a stay-at-home mom or work from home mom since the Before Times, then you likely have a routine down that’s a sacred component to balancing your productivity and mental wellbeing. Men do not observe peace; they are basically genetically wired to disturb it. All the time. In any way they can. And even if you’re new to working from home, but are now doing it alongside your spouse, you might feel this way too.

It’s no wonder so many women are MORE than ready for their men to GTFO of the house again.

DH has been working from home since late March & it has really put a strain on our marriage. Now his job is considering having them work from home permanently. If this is the case, it will be the end of our marriage.

Confessional #25804210

H has decided to work from home as much as possible because someone in his office tested positive for Covid. He refuses to wear a mask when grocery shopping though. Now I have to see his idiotic face all day.

Confessional #25785122

My husband has to work from home for the next month. It just started today. I'm already annoyed AF.

Confessional #25779917

Wouldn’t it be amazing if husbands just pulled their weight and did everything they were supposed to do and stayed out of everyone’s hair when they needed to?

We both work from home. So, guess who is homeschooling? At least he is good in bed...

Confessional #25772184

My h doesn't have to go to work at regular hours. He can work from home, or go in & come back at different times every day. I never know in advance if he's going to be here or not. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS!!!

Confessional #25765332

H decided, unexpectedly, to work from home today. A lovely, bright September day has been ruined by his presence here.

Confessional #25750647

Basically, there’s a reason all of these women are annoyed that their husbands are working from home and disturbing their space. It has nothing to do with love and everything to do with patriarchal oblivion. New motto: get your vax and get back to the office!