Parenting

That Time I Built My Own Vibrator

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Originally Published: 
Courtesy of Katie Bingham-Smith

It’s no secret we are pro-vibe here at Scary Mommy. Sexual health is a piece of our overall health that is very easily brushed under the rug and neglected with the cobwebs.

Not to mention, the socially distanced nature of this pandemic has taken a toll on many a sex life.

It’s hard to build that kind of tension that makes you want to jump on your partner and tell them to do bad things to you when you are with them 24/7, and with the kids 24/7.

If you are single, you may be feeling really out of practice. Well, either that or your fingers are getting a really good workout, because it can only get so hot during a social-distancing date. Or so I’ve heard, ahem.

I recently tried something to break up the monotony and get my juices flowing: I designed my own vibe. It was through the vibe company Crave, which allows you to build your own Crave Duet Pro.

My review? It’s must-try for anyone with a vulva who likes to jet their juice.

I had the pleasure of getting my kit in the mail and having a one-on-one Zoom call which gifted me the ability to build the most beautiful vibrator I’ve ever seen (suck it, Martha Stewart).

KATIE BINGHAM-SMITH

I love all my vibrators for different reasons. I love my sucky one because, well hello, it sucks — in the best possible way. I love one that fits on my finger because it’s small and I feel like I have more control. I have a black and gold clit stick I like because it matches my decor. I have quite the collection of tumbleweed tanglers and I make no apologies for it. As a woman in my 40s, I know what I like: in a sandwich, in a partner, and in a vibrator.

I do, however, need to come up with a better way to store them because right now, they are in a large leather bag on a shelf in my closet next to my sweaters. The other day I went to grab one (I had exactly fifteen minutes to myself) and they all fell on my head.

Did I lie down and ice the goose egg on my noggin, or did I buzz one off instead? I’ll leave you guessing.

What I’m saying is, there are many vibrators out there (and in my closet) I can take for a test drive but if it doesn’t stand out in a special way to me, it will be a one-and-done deal. I don’t like to use things strictly for semi-good pleasure. It has to hold a special place in my heart or I’m bound to quit it real fast.

Building my own vibe was enough to get me interested. I’m someone who knows my way around a craft table but I’ve never been good at putting things together. Until now, that is. Maybe it was the easy instructions or the fact I couldn’t wait to get the Crave Duet Pro in my knickers. But I was overwhelmingly satisfied that I made a waterproof clit stick in about an hour, which surprised me because when I opened the boxes it came in I thought, There’s no way I’m going to be able to do this.

Now, I feel like an engineer and so will you. Believe me, if I can do it, you can do it. I’m someone who needs my thirteen-year-old son to help me figure out how to put something together even if it only has two parts.

Also, I know I’m not the only one who has been kind of lonely since March. My spin classes have been cancelled, favorite hangouts are closed, and there certainly aren’t any wine and paint nights available. The vices I used to rely on to feed my (very small) extroverted side are gone, so this virtual class helped.

I thought building a vibrator with someone I’d never met before might be a little uncomfortable but to my surprise, it actually wasn’t. It was fun and refreshing to talk with another body-positive woman, and I can’t believe how accomplished I felt when the light on my new toy came on and I heard the motor purring away.

So, while you’re at home more these days, you might as well keep your hands (and genitals) busy. Screw the wine and painting nights anyway: how about wine and build your own vibrator? Now that’s something to brag about on social media.

If you never thought you’d say, “Yeah, I built my own vibrator, and it gave me the best orgasm of my life,” you thought wrong. This is your chance, folks! Make use of your time at home and do something really (really, really) good for yourself.

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