Hilarious Moms Explain Why Bathing Suits Are Bullsh*t
These funny moms tell the truth about bathing suits
It’s swimsuit season and a pair of funny moms totally feel our pain. In a hilarious new video, they illustrate all the pitfalls of finding a flattering bathing suit.
Honestly, it’s like they’re in the fitting room with us.
Kristin Hensley and Jen Smedley are the funny ladies behind the popular Facebook page Imomsohard. Their videos are full of wisdom about motherhood and being a woman in general, with their latest offering totally nailing the fuckery surrounding women’s bathing suits.
They start off by demonstrating “what dudes get to wear to the beach” with both women sporting comfy board shorts and roomy t-shirts. They joke about how practical the men’s version of beachwear is, showing how easy it is to bend down. “You can move around, no nipples are coming out,” Smedley exclaims. “Everything stays inside.”
Isn’t that something. Imagine going to the beach and not inadvertently showing a passing 10-year-old boy half of your boob when all you meant to do was pluck a few juice boxes from the cooler.
“I do not feel confident in a swimming suit at all,” says Hensley, “but I’m not going to let that get in the way of me building a moat.” She notes how “a couple cocktails” can help eliminate those crappy body feelings, but still laments her post-baby size. “Twelve pounds heavier than I was before I had my daughter and she’s four. Can’t even call it baby weight anymore. Just call it weight.”
We feel you, girl.
The women treat us to a fashion show full of swimsuits most moms would raise an eyebrow at, because they make no sense unless your only plan is to literally lay on a towel all day. And we all know how great little kids are at letting us do that.
Hensley starts off with a black one-piece featuring a weird spiderweb design over the torso. “What’s with these cut-outs? Isn’t the whole idea to keep everything in? It looks like you’re pressing something against a tennis racket.”
Smedley’s similarly unimpressed with her ruffled monokini. “Hmm I wonder if there’s a way to make your butt look too big, to really accentuate your love handles and make your bust feel inadequate,” she quips.
She also models a suit that gives her “four complete buttcheeks” while Hensley continues to regret her black spiderweb cut-out suit. “I could tell by the hanger it was bad. It had schematics to put it on.”
After showing off a few more ridiculous bathing suits, Hensley breaks it down. “You wanna know what’s really sexy? Joy. That’s what I think.”
And she would be absolutely right. Our kids and partners don’t care how we look in our swimsuits. Having fun is the goal.
At the end of the video, the women put on the sensible bathing suits and cover-ups they typically wear for a day at the beach. Hensley says, “Well this is real life. This is how I go to the beach. And the kids think I’m awesome. Because I’m awesome on a beach.”
Hensley explains that it’s all about modeling the right way of thinking for her kids. “I want my daughter to love her life and to love herself and she’s not going to do it because I tell her to do it. She’s going to do it because I teach her to do it.”
Her final thoughts? “I would love a revenge body but I’ll take a ‘fuck it’ attitude.”
Sounds good to us.
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