We Are Laugh-Crying At These Karen Christmas Carols

Jimmy Kimmel Live/Youtube

What would ‘I Wish You A Merry Christmas’ sound like if a chorus of Karens sang it?

Ah, it’s the holiday season. A time of light and love, and a time for Karens to go absolutely berserk at the mall when they find out they can’t use two coupons at the same store at the same time.

This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live, the show welcomed an entire chorus of Karens to perform some of our very favorite holiday classics, updated with lyrics that only overly privileged and entitled white women could love.

Check out all the little Karen details that each of the women lovely included in her outfit: from the Starbucks cup and oversized tote to the wrist keychain and yellow-lensed sunglasses propped on their highlighted heads, they nailed the Karen look that only made us feel a liiiiitle self-conscious.

Second of all: the songs are completely hilarious.

“O Christmas Tree” becomes “Stop Filming Me.”

“We Wish You A Merry Christmas” becomes ‘I Swear I Am Not A Racist.”

We won’t spoil much for you, but here are the delightful lyrics to “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:”

“Hark! The Karen angles sing/We did not do anything/We just want a refund for pants we bought in ’91/If you give your boss a call/We will picket the whole mall/Just shut your mouth and take it/We spend a lot of money at Nordstrom Rack.”

And here’s their bratty version of “Deck the Halls”:

“Deck my Facebook wall with bullsh*t/Fa la la la la la la la la/This meme is fake but I’ll still push it/Fa la la la la la la la la/The vaccine will give you rabies/Fa la la la la la la la la/Democrats like eating babies/Fa la la la la la la la la.”

And you have to stick around for when they close with an epic version of “Carol of the Bells.”

This isn’t the first time Jimmy Kimmel has poked fun at Karens — in February he had us laughing with a spoof line of Karen dolls for kids.

Karens have been in the news a lot in the last few years. Let’s never forget the Karen that called the police because a Black family was having a barbecue, or the other Karen that called the police on a Black bird watcher. While the spoofs are funny, there’s an important underlying message: entitled white women and the power they hold in society can be dangerous. In fact, it’s a great reminder that we literally cannot truly achieve Peace on Earth until Karens get a hold of themselves and get educated about their own privilege.

Anyway, now we have “I Swear I Am Not A Racist” stuck in our heads, and we’re okay with that. This is the best funny Christmas song we’ve heard since the painfully real “Christmas Morning” SNL skit in which everyone gets amazing gifts and mom just gets a robe.