It’s Time to Accept That Not Every Mother Should Give Haircuts
What happens to your hair when you’re stuck at home during a pandemic? You either let it grow like Tom Hanks in Castaway or you get a Quarantine Cut. A Quarantine Cut is a homemade haircut because you can’t go to the hair salon. It’s also not a good haircut, but who cares when you’re stuck inside? Subscribe to Scary Mommy on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3bBD9VI
WATCH: Haircut Fails
Let’s start with uneven hair. Only a trained professional can cut hair in a straight line. They must use a level or magic because it’s impossible! Just remember, your hair isn’t uneven if you cock your head a certain way. Crooked head, straight hair!
Then there’s the patchy haircut. This one is a doozy. It’s like a bald spot or a bunch of speed bumps in the road. How does it happen? A patchy haircut might mean that mom is multitasking again. She’s probably cutting hair and cooking because we’re all cooking constantly now!
Up next are bad bangs. They’re either too small, too crooked or too wide. I know you think it’s a good idea to give your kid bangs so their hair stays out of their eyes, but keep in mind that bangs are on the front of their face and your eyes are going to have to see your haircut fail.
The Unfinished. It sounds like a Robert Deniro suspense-thriller, but it’s not. It’s just a haircut that never got finished. Maybe your kid just wouldn’t stay still and you gave up or maybe the electric shaver died. Or maybe you had to cook AGAIN. Either way, the hair looks weird. Let’s make it exciting and call the unfinished haircut a suspense-thriller. I’ve got goosebumps.
In the end, a Quarantine Cut is just a bad haircut and the hair will grow back. We’re all doing our best and that’s all that matters. In fact, haircut fails will keep us laughing. Keep cutting, mommas!
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