10 Kids Who Totally Suck

Let’s be honest here for a minute, ok? As adorable as babies may be — in that puppies and kittens kind of way –eventually some of them grow up into kids who suck. Ok, ok. Not all of them, but some of them. Too many of them, in fact. Any of these sound familiar?

1. The Kid Who Won’t Share – He’s the one at the park or the beach with the coolest new thingamabob, waving it around in front of your poor deprived kids who only WISH they had a mom cool enough to buy it for them, and even worse, he’s got that neiner-neiner attitude about it. It’s his, and he’s proud of it, and he rightly should be. He just hasn’t learned yet how not to be a jerk about it.

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2. The Kid Who Thinks You Should Just Give It To Him – He is the exact reverse of TKWWS, only on steroids. Everything he sees, he wants, and you will hand it over or you will face the consequences. The consequences, of course, may include glass-shattering shrieks which may or may not be coupled with some pushing and/or some “I’m going to tell my Mom that you’re not sharing!” Sure, kid. Go tell your mom that you jerked something out of my baby’s hands and then pushed her over and made her cry. I’m sure THAT conversation will go well.

3. The Crybaby Kid – If you’re like me, you want to stab yourself in the ears every time you get within 40 feet of this kid because this child whines about EVERYTHING. Offer her a popsicle? “I waaaanted the reeeeeeed one, waaaahhh!” Invited him over for a birthday party? Better not open the presents! “Where’s miiiiiiiiine??? Waaaaahhhh!” Trying to chat with the mom? “Mooooooom, I’m ready to goooooooooo, waaaaah!” Trying to have a meal? “My French fries are too hard/too soft/too brown/not brown enough, waaaaah!”

4. The Kid With No Volume Control – I’m sure you’ve heard this kid coming and bolted the other way. This is the kid who learned to whisper in a sawmill, the one who thinks you can’t understand him unless he’s shouting, the one who acts like his words only beget action if they come out of his mouth at a thousand decibels. There’s no amount of SHHHHHHHHH’ing in the world that will quieten this kid–he only has two volumes: mute and ear-bleed.

5. The Hulk – Also known as the “I Will Break Everything I See, Just Because I Can” kid. This kid just plain digs breaking shit. No rhyme or reason for it, he just breaks everything he touches. You can ask him to be more careful, but you may as well be talking to a brick wall. He throws things to feel joy. Stop trying to steal his joy, why don’t cha?!

6. The Bad Influence Kid – You can only pray that it’s not YOUR kid, but…well…chances are… This is the kid that can easily and consistently talk ALL the other kids into doing shit that they KNOW they’re not suppose to be doing. This kid is probably most closely related to …

7. The I Know Everything and You’re Just Dumb Kid – This kid is most likely somewhere around 8ish, or 12ish, or 16ish, and unless you’ve written THE book (and can prove it) about whatever-it-is that you are discussing, you may as well give it up. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and no amount of anecdotal evidence will prove otherwise. The IKEAYJD kid most likely has a parent who has resorted to either “Ok, whatever.” “Because I said so.” or “Just shut up.” On more than one occasion.

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8. The It Wasn’t My Fault / I Didn’t Do It Kid – “It wasn’t me.” “I don’t know who did it.” “I think the dog knocked that over.” “It must have been Dad.” “Maybe we have a ghost.”

9. The But WHY? Kid – This kid responds to any and all conversations (even questions WTf?) with a familiar refrain: Time for bed! “But whhyyyyyy?” Eat your peas, sweetie! “But whyyyyy?” Put your shoes on before you miss the bus! “But whyyyyyy?” If you don’t pick up your toys, they are going in time out. “But whyyyyy?” Because I fucking said so, kid!

10. The You’re Not The Boss Of Me Kid – His favorite phrases may include such gems as “I don’t have to.” “No, I don’t want to.” and “You can’t make me.” He will repeat said phrases over and over, no matter how many times he is asked nicely, told firmly, or begged desperately to stop. Who’s the Boss? I dunno, but if you have to ask, it’s probably not you.

*Note: My own children went through every single one of these phases at some point, so if one (or more) of these strike a nerve, fear not. We’ve all been there.

Related post: 50 Ways Other People’s Kids Suck

About the writer

Love Barnett is a work-from-home mom of too many kids to count, trophy wife, and emphatic wielder of the "Because I said so" card. You can find her unbridled perspective into the world of beer, babies, beauty, and baubles on her Facebook page, follow her on Twitter, or if you're feeling adventurous (or bored) you can check out her much-neglected blog Momma Said NO.

From Around the Web


Cricket 5 months ago

My kid isn’t any of those he’s worse… He’s the interrupter kid he won’t cry over it if you tell him hush but Jesus five seconds later he’s interrupting and going on and on. I’ve given up lecturing and just started saying hold on or just a minute until I sound like robot. I had to quit lecturing him after he looked at me wit big eyes and said, “but mommy I just get so excited to tell stuff that I forget and can’t wait!” He’s a cheater is what he is!

Lisa Kaufman 8 months ago

Too funny

Sarah L Kester 8 months ago

All kids are assholes at some point.

Cathy Patton 8 months ago

Kids will be kids! But our job as parents is to teach them how to be better people. And it is important to realize if your child has any of these attributes, and not be in denial about it! So many parents think their child can do no wrong and they are perfect, but no one is perfect and we have to teach children to be considerate of others, and have compassion, and the most important thing is treat others the way you want to be treated.

Amanda Hoff 8 months ago

Ummm I already knew before I read it. #whistle Lmao!!!!!!!!!

Stephani Addis 8 months ago

Most parents are the reason these spoiled brats have no self control. Because these parents can’t grow up and take responsibility or blame. Oh pity me world. Let’s blame all of our problems on mental diseases, dose us up and call it a day. Don’t pick on my poor baby, he’s too sensitive. So when he’s 18 he doesn’t know what to do without mommy. Ugh those parents. I cannot stand.

Sidra Raja 8 months ago

True 😀

Jen Holland Page 8 months ago

All kids suck at one time or another most definitely. It’s how we deal with our friends kids that are acting a fool that prove how awesome or asshole we are. I’m typically an asshole 😉

Katherine Engberg Knudson 8 months ago

Love your articles! Every single one of them!

Allison Goolsby Lampe 8 months ago

I have a #4 and a #9

Shawn Wallace Rakowitz 8 months ago

My kid is #4 lol

Rachel Musco Caram 8 months ago

# 3. My God give me patience for the #3 child!!!!!

Erin Bateson McEvoy 8 months ago

Mine too!

Good thing about it is now I have a newborn who will sleep through ANYTHING thanks to his sister

Christa Carter McClain 8 months ago

OMG. My 5y.o. asks me a question: “How does this work?” or “What is that?” and then ARGUES with me when I answer her!!!

M Elissa D As 8 months ago


Ellie Exarchos 8 months ago

Please don’t call children a-holes. It’s pathetic. Not funny, just stupid and cheap.

britt 8 months ago

I honestly don’t know why kids should have to let other kids play with their belongings, unless it’s community property. Instead of kids growing up thinking that they are entitled to everything and life is fair, they need to learn to be let down and that they can’t have everything they want, that they won’t have everything that their peers have. Stop raising kids with false senses of entitlement. These are the kids that grow up thinking the world owes them something.

Joanne McCudden 8 months ago

No kids suck. They’re all wonderful and it’s up to us to teach them how to behave. Really horrid judgy article

Tiffany Reeves 8 months ago

Everyday! I love her unconditionally :) I have a well behaved child, and held play dates that confirm it..:) kids are kids…until they get old enough to know they will get in trouble for being hateful.

Angelina Dominguez 8 months ago

Omg. I could check off at least 3 of those… And it’s my 2 year old. We are working on him.

Brandi Cantu 8 months ago

How about the SPEAK UP I CAN NOT HEAR YOU!!! I have 2.

Gina Meislin 8 months ago

4,5,7,8,9 are my boys!!! LOL

Traci Brignoni 8 months ago

Is this really a book?!!

Traci Brignoni 8 months ago

#3….Yeah, the whining crybaby. Makes me cringe

Whitney Rochelle McGehee 8 months ago

My kid has no volume control but the poor guy can’t help it. He was VERY hard of hearing for about two years due to clogged tubes nobody caught. He’s working on it now but that ones not too bad. His sister on the other hand….. Lmao

Stephanie Noblet 8 months ago

Omg I’m going through the same thing with my 10 year old! He’s smarter than us and is never wrong! I hope this is just a phase.. Lol

Jill Vaughn 8 months ago

My 4 year old is “but why” everything!! It was cute the first 3 times, now it drives me up the wall!!

Cecilia Vasquez 8 months ago

I’m in tears!!

Cassie Puckridge 8 months ago

Cora, if you believe that then I’m sorry to tell you that you are obviously still in the know-it-all stage. Either that or completely in denial!

Melissa Duthler 8 months ago

Gah!! Atleast I am not alone in this!!

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

Just phases. Usually they grow out of them. I’m sure she will be fine.

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

And I can give the stink eye back at anyone that gives me one.

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

I have a 15 year old autistic son. Yea he is loud. We are always working on it. I’m not giving him a free pass on being loud. Or any thing else. He just has to work harder at it than the other kids.

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

I love my kids more than anything! I won’t call the assholes to their face ! I have told them they are annoying me. lol. I say ” I love you forever but right now I am annoyed at you. ” heck my son told me the same thing!

Cassie Puckridge 8 months ago

You just perfectly described my almost 9 year old girl.

Cassie Puckridge 8 months ago

Thats my kid too. Inside voice? What’s that? The inside voice is the ear peircing squeal that reverberates in your ears :(

Krystal Caldwell Roe 8 months ago

^^^her kid typed this. Going through know-it-all stage. {Grin}

Angie Pegram 8 months ago

My kids are these kids…..UGH

Courtney Whener 8 months ago

No volume control and hulk. That’s my son

Rebekah Callahan Smith 8 months ago

I was getting defensive reading this because I feel like my kid fits into some of these and I despise these qualities in kids and I don’t want people to hate her

Anna Iralda 8 months ago

This article is dumb! Most kids are guilty at some point for being “that” kid”. It’s the parents who allow it to continue.
But I agree, nobody likes kids like “that” . I don’t even like my kids when they behave like this.

Monica Leigh Wallace 8 months ago

Daycare, I swear.

Kathi Barfield-Brewer 8 months ago

Sadly, I have the dryer thanks to her dad spoiling her. Now she cries (loudly) for everything she wants. I don’t give in, but she’s learned the Art of manipulation due to her father’s negative reinforcement.

Ashley van Emden 8 months ago
Sheryl Hackel 8 months ago

My son is all of these all the time!

Margaret Campbell Lux 8 months ago

How about the kids who have no filter on their mouths and their parents taught them NO manners? I came across two like that who called me fat when I was pregnant and the only thing that the grandma said was I needed to wear clothing that covered me better(was nine months pregnant so nothing fit right).

Courtney Mathis-Smith 8 months ago

Great, I have the toddler with no volume control. He sings loudly at the grocery store, and most people just look at him and smile but I know what they’re thinking LMAO

Heather Ochocki 8 months ago

Sooo funny but so true!

Rebecca Mecham Bagley 8 months ago

While I agree, that when it is a kid with no issues behaving in these ways it’s beyond annoying…MANY of these behaviors can be directly related to developmental delays and conditions and behavioral disorders. ADHD, OCD, ODD, Aspbergers, etc. As a parent of a kid with ADHD, OCD, and ODD, while I do not allow these behaviors to go unchecked, a bit of kindness and understanding that some parents are dealing with a hell you cannot begin to imagine goes a LONG way. It did still make me giggle, though. LOL

Jackie 8 months ago

Omg 6, 7 & 10….ugh and it doesnt help that his asshole father has been brainwashing him to act this way since he was 4 he is now 11

Roberta Lewis 8 months ago

My kid is totally No. 7.

Dave 8 months ago

The first one has a bad side it also leads to kids demanding a child to share whether or not they are a sharer or not I can not count the number of times I would hear a child would say “Sharing is Caring”which would become a demand As a teacher there would be times we would have to eat lunch in the classroom and I would have students tell me “Sharing is Caring” asking for stuff from my lunch (which my wife had packed for me with love)

Jennifer Lee 8 months ago

And what if you have a kid that does all of these things?

Dena Fisher 8 months ago

Unfortunately, all of the parental training in the world doesn’t prevent every meltdown. And sadly, strangers rarely stop to think, “maybe that child is autistic”. It doesn’t even have to be autism. Maybe the child has a rough home life. Maybe the child is coming down with the flu. I know the “can’t we all just be nice” ideology is trite, but when you’ve been the victim of stranger judgment and even hostility due to circumstances that are beyond your control, its hard to take things like this as lightly as others might.

Catherine Hadley 8 months ago

Gosh, it’s hard to hear some of you from atop your high horses lol. Some kids go through stages of asshattery regardless of how great or not their parents are. Like it or not, kids are actually their own little person, beyond who their parents are. We can’t control everything.

Catherine Hadley 8 months ago

My son is currently the crybaby with no volume control.

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

My son is autistic, and omg he can be so LOUD! Just because he is autistic doesn’t give him a free pass. He still needs to learn to quiet down sometimes!

Maggie Hoyt Poling 8 months ago

I believe asshatery is going on my new word list!

Trace O’Higgins 8 months ago

Mine is currently in the “I know everything, and will argue with every single thing you say, even if I’m clearly wrong, because it amuses me” stage. She’s 10, and will ask me what time it is. When I glance at the clock and say “It’s 6”, she’ll promptly sneer, “Nuh-uh, it’s 6:02”, which leads to me having to resist the urge to strangle her a la Homer Simpson. She seriously tries to argue with me about events that happened 20 years before she was born, and will act like she was there, even if obviously there is no way in hell she could have been. But, she’ll argue it until she’s blue in the face. “You’re wrong. Drop it.” Has become the new catch phrase around here, right along with “If you don’t stop arguing over insignificant details right now, you’re spending the rest of the weekend in your room without your Kindle.” Yes, it may be 6:02, you little smartass, but you’re going to be grounded until you’re 62 at this rate.

Maggie Morgan Bacon 8 months ago

I got blasted for mentioning that my son is autistic. Good for you for standing up.

Terra George 8 months ago

I hope she doesn’t get louder, but with my genetics she probably will. I didn’t learn to speak quietly until I was about 12 or so. Though in my defense I am partially deaf so I didn’t realize I was shouting. Some random lady told her to use her inside voice when we were shopping the other day. She just looked at her all crazy and started yelling out pirate phrases. “Yo ho ho, hook!” It took phenomenal self control to not crack up laughing at the expression on the woman’s face.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Terra, my 14 year old is the one with no volume control that NEVER grew out of it. He just got louder and now his voice has changed too, so it’s loud plus it’s got a deep rumbly bass in it LOL BUT, AJ had the ear-piercing make-your-brain-bleed shrieks when he was a toddler and thankfully, he’s grown out of that now! I think Alex just has a super loud voice naturally that some people just HAVE. I’m constantly telling him “We’re in the same room, you can tone it down a smidge and we’ll still hear you, I promise!” and he’ll modulate, but it’s an effort!

Terra George 8 months ago

Arya is currently the kid with no volume control, but she’s only two so I am hoping she grows out of it. Her most current incident was tugging at my top at the in laws during X-Mas and screaming, “Booooobs! Give it NOW!”

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Marlena, that’s it EXACTLY! I had one of the ‘Nah Nah Neiner Neiner” kids and we are NOT neiner neiner people LOL if that makes sense. Drove me bonkers! How many different ways can you even say “That’s not nice, please don’t do that!”

Katya B. Ceci Ribeiro 8 months ago

I think my girls display traits of all these, with the exception of the know it all kid, but that’s because they are 4. Now the sad part is that all of these descriptions can match adults I know. At least a os may grow out of it…

Michael Davis 8 months ago

I guess when I was a kid I would have fit a couple of these

Christy Whelan 8 months ago

How about the nasty kid or the “my parents think I can do no wrong kid”?

Lisa Morgan 8 months ago

Completely agree MyLove. My three well behaved kids have been about half of these at one time or another. I was the whiner/crybaby through a pregnancy or two.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

I have zero clue Memori! My kids do it too! If it’s feasible to go get the supplies, I will, but if it’s really late or the store’s not open, or it’s not a pay week and we’re broke, I HAVE been known to say Sucks to be you! and let them take the grade on whatever they can throw together last minute. Old enough to know better is old enough to suffer the consequences for waiting until the last minute IMO. They gotta learn at some point!

Rachel Jones 8 months ago

My oldest is 11 and still has issues with #4!!!

Erika Fredericks 8 months ago

I feel like everyone has a child who is “that” kid at some point or another.

Memori Applegate 8 months ago

My kid sucks because she waits until today to tell me that she has a project due in 2 days..she does this constantly, any suggestions on how to get her to tell me when she gets the assignment? She’s 15 and in the 9th grade..she’s old enough to know better, yet still does it

Melanie Lynn 8 months ago

That’s a given. Lol!

censored mayhem 8 months ago

oh and 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,9,10…fml

censored mayhem 8 months ago

#8 is my stepson. Effing brat.

Joseph Taylor 8 months ago

Holy crap, I was one of them .

Carrie Meiring 8 months ago

I think my kid is ALL off these things right now. Yikes. 4 year old boys.

Valerie M Cody 8 months ago

Every kids an asshole at some point. Would we say that to his face? Well no.

Katy Ake 8 months ago

I love my kids with everything I am and have. They are great funny kids. Can be super sweet and a lot of fun. But yes they can be ASSHOLES. It’s life. Everyone can be an asshole at some point. Do I call them that out loud? No. But I sure do think it.

Katy Ake 8 months ago

Yes some kids are loud because they have issues BUT that doesn’t mean the loudness(not the kid) is any less annoying. Hopefully if a child’s issues are revealed or obvious people are very understanding. Ya know?

Olga Makridina-Bhalla 8 months ago

She wrote about her own kids, she is entitled to call them whatever she wants. I am sure your child is a great child and you probably worry about his breakdowns and feel judged way more than it actually happens. We are always more critical of ourselves than people around us. Most people honestly don’t give a damn about a screaming kid or even more would actually feel for you and wish they could help.

Nicole Price 8 months ago

I think it’s funny my 9 year old is the whining about EVERYTHING stage it drives me nuts!!!!

Katy Ake 8 months ago

Nope not always the parents fault. Some kids just suck and are assholes. Kids do develop their own personalities…. And sometimes they aren’t so nice.

Nicole Thorp 8 months ago

You nailed it! My daughter is 2 yrs old and #4 and #9 is totally her. We get the but whhyyy’s in ear bleed haha!

Tania Leigh 8 months ago

This is my 6 yr old!

Eliza Deary 8 months ago

My 9 y/o is the kid with no volume control. Ever. Never has.

Katy Ake 8 months ago

I worked in childcare. I have known HUNDREDS of kids. Some kids suck. Most don’t really suck and have moments when they suck but yes some kids suck. And sometimes the kids who suck have parents that are perfectly nice and normal not sucking parents and sometimes they don’t. It is life.

Tania Leigh 8 months ago

My kid is not really any of these, but the one I could relate to the most is the loud kid. He talks loud and we always try to tell him, yes we can hear you keep it down a bit. My daughter on the other hand is 2 and can’t really relate to any of these. The only thing with her is she has a high pitch scream which gets me so mad, even if she is happy she uses that high pitch scream as a giggle. It urks me sooooo bad!

Katy Ake 8 months ago

I do. My kids can act like assholes. Everyone can. We are human. I don’t call them that…out loud but I sure do think it!!

Sian Graham 8 months ago

Argh this is my kid!!!!! Soooo annoying. She’s 6, and also the oldest child :/

Rosemary Trujillo 8 months ago

Both my teenage boys suck right now!

Val Baker Leto 8 months ago

I know a kid that is all 10 of these in an afternoon…. Makes me glad to see him leave!

Melissa Duthler 8 months ago

My kid is the one with no volume control. I feel like I tell her to use her indoor voice 100× a day!

Heather Berezay Hetherington 8 months ago

Now I see where some kids get their “poor me, life is rough, victim of society” mentalities. Yikes.

lisa 8 months ago

That’s like every kid under the planet – unless, you have one of those “perfectly behaved” kids all the time! (my worst nightmare) because they have the most judgmental pricks as parents.

Kalee Haanen 8 months ago

It’s not the kids that suck or asshole, it’s their parents….. Wtf

Susan Peterson 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure my 13-year-old is still #4&6. I try….

Mary Manske 8 months ago

Wow! I have 8 of these kids in 1! :/

Erin VanDivort Ayres 8 months ago

Good grief people! They were not talking about autistic children!!

Erin VanDivort Ayres 8 months ago


Lisa Morgan 8 months ago

Number 8….my 21 year old is STILL a number 8 kid. He breaks my blinds, dishes, furniture, you name it he will accidentally break it. Then come up with some ridiculous reason it wasn’t his fault! “Hey Mom, I just accidentally put my knees through your $200 footstool, but it’s not my fault. It was an accident ” ugh.

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

I loved your article. Clearly not everyone understands that it was written for parents, not the kids!! It made me laugh lol. My kids can act like assholes. It’s true. Especially #3-kind-of-assholes haha!! My 4 yo currently cries for absolutely everything. Even when he uses the red cup for a week, then suddenly says “mom hello!! I want the Orange cup, duh! You know, the one I haven’t used in over a week! Yeah that one that I told you to throw away but you didn’t because you know me too dam well!” But I love them with all my heart. However, no one could deny that their kids possess or have possessed at LEAST one of these lovely traits, am I right!

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 8 months ago

Oh goodness, my kids have been this, and sometimes still are!! Shoot, I have been like this sometimes too! People need to be able to laugh at themselves. And no judgement here! No one has a perfect child, except for Mary and Joseph;)

Denise Kirby 8 months ago

Ok…. I have 2 boys and 24 and 13. They still go threw these. Especially the 13 yr old, he’s the I know everything and you know Nothing!!!, the LOUD one, and at times all the others… He sucks except when he’s sleeping… Doesn’t mean I love him any less… Well that might depend on what day it is. 😉
ScaryMom I wish I had you through out my boys childhood (especially the 13yr old). I can relate to almost everything posted here.. There is no “I’m the perfect mom with the perfect kid(s)” being able to relate to all these moms, makes me feel I’m not the only one… Thanks!

Joan Cunningham Adams 8 months ago

My children don’t have autism and can frequently show assholish behavior. My job is to teach them how this does not make for pleasant interactions or relationships if they continue said behavior and that there are consequences for this behavior. I am sure if one of them could write well enough they would be able to come up with a list of behaviors that make parents assholes. Stop looking for opportunities to be offended and try to see the lighter things in life. While your world revolves around your autistic, adhd etc kid, ours doesn’t.

Tiffany Bartoo Craig 8 months ago

As I was reading the article, all I could think was “oh shit, that’s my kid, my kid on that too, oh crap that is my kid as well, yep been through that stage but haven’t hit that one yet.” We’ve all been there and if someone feels they can’t relate to this, maybe they don’t realize their kid is on this list.

Heather Harling 8 months ago

My kid is totally a #7 and 9. “Because I said so” gets a lot of airtime over here.

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago


Maggie Morgan Bacon 8 months ago

Look if you don’t like what i have to say, move on. I didn’t say this article was specifically about children with issues, but you can’t always tell at first look whether they do or not. If it makes light of things, i have a 4 yr old that has not been diagnosed, and he exhibits jerk traits. All I’m saying is, don’t be quick to judge.

Julie Gates Velasquez 8 months ago

Um. Ok.

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

That’s my oldest!!!!! Haha nothing is fair for him. I find myself sounding like my father when I say to my son…”well, life is not fair!”

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

I say no to my kids more than I say yes. They still put up a fight. Kids will be kids 😉

Cindy Bryant 8 months ago

My kids have done all of them. Lol

Maggie Morgan Bacon 8 months ago

It’s my post…so yes my post is about me. You stepped into my world when you stepped into my post.

Christopher Daniel 8 months ago

What about the “Interruption Kid”.. Omg I can’t stand outbursts while on the phone, talking, reading, ANYTHING that doesn’t involve them. Grrr

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure this article isn’t aiming at kids with problems like that. It’s pure humor and doesn’t make a mother any less of a mother for writing or thinking it

Tiffanie Morrow 8 months ago

Jessica Holden Lauderdale- lol! fancy meeting you here 😉 and of course you are absolutely right… I have a five year old cry baby right now. We are working out of it, but I am still embarrassed and apologetic to the public we are around when it happens. I hope the world doesn’t judge too harshly and appreciates my motherly efforts to squelch this unnerving behavior :)

Kiraa Salas 8 months ago

Because EVERYTHING is about you, personally, right?

Janet Kortright 8 months ago

I know more adults that act these ways than kids and I teach in a preschool.

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

Haha took the words right out of my mouth. It’s funny and please don’t deny the fact that your kids can and will act like a-holes sometimes! It doesn’t mean we don’t love our kids dearly. I’d give my life for them. I’d NEVER call them any names. But you better be dam sure I think it in my head on a really bad day lol

Samantha 8 months ago

Made me laugh…My boys have gone through or are going through each of these right now. And we still have more to come with a 14, 6, 4, 1.5 year old lol.

Kristin Hall Chauvin 8 months ago

My son is #’s 4 & 8

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

It’s a scary momma joke lol learn to laugh. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids dearly. I’d give my life for them. But they can act like complete assholes sometimes!!!!! I think every parent thinks this in their head on a really bad day at least once a lifetime lol but not many have the guts to actually say it.

Amy McDonald- Waldron 8 months ago

I encountered TWO of the “I can run in the store and no one will stop me” yesterday in Barnes and Noble. It was a girl (around age 7) and a boy (maybe 5-6) tearing through the store yelling at the top of their lungs. Round and round the aisle they went, nearly running straight into me twice. I looked around at their mom, who was browsing the bargain books to my left and she avoided eye contact and just slowly shook her head. I somehow managed to refrain from going off and just walked away to a different part of the store. So frustrating! I have never once allowed my son, who is now 10, to run wild in any store. They have playgrounds for that. >:(

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

Haha yes!!!!! My 4 year old does this a lot haha

Rebeca Rojo 8 months ago

This is great!! Only a few good scary moms will understand the humor behind this and realize that this is straight up true!! Who are we kidding? I think every kid possesses AT LEAST one of these traits lol. My 3 kids definitely have, specifically no. 3….especially my middle child who’s 4. He currently cries for EVERYTHING lol

Jessica Pickett 8 months ago

All kids go through a little of these fazes! They are kids and they are learning. It’s what the parents do to correct the bad behavior that makes the difference.

Jessica Pickett 8 months ago

Definitely the parents. They taught her to be that way!

Jenna 8 months ago

I was actually scared to read this, figuring my boys would make this list somewhere as they both have FASD. They didn’t! But I know these types of kids all too well, lol

Emma Browne 8 months ago


Trina Loy 8 months ago

Rigggght April…

Krystyn Leigh 8 months ago

I have to add the crap parent kids, that live upstairs from us. Running like a herd of wild oxen, screaming, pounding to the extent that things fall off of our walls. NEVER at the playground beside the building. Demon children with NO parenting and NO discipline.

Angel Allen 8 months ago

Yes!! I lived beside of a little Damien! He was all of these wrapped into one little package.

Krystyn Leigh 8 months ago

Makes me happy to have just one kid who is none of these. She had brief #1 moments but it was more that she liked her toys with all the pieces, not broken, ruined, or stolen.

Chanel Rose 8 months ago

If you lack sarcasm, you should not even be reading this page.
Carry on.

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 8 months ago

Most parents who are offended by this, fit every description given in this article. GET OVER YOURSELVES!

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Jessie well honestly, they’re really really cute. And sweet. When they weren’t being little demons, they were like puffs of cotton candy, so I just hold on to that and know that it passes. It doesn’t feel like it’s ever going to end while you’re trying to endure it, but it DOES pass eventually. Another thing that helped was someone told me once that when you’re at the end of your rope, stop and think about what it would look like if you had an audience! Like is this REALLY this bad and annoying right now, or does it have the potential to be hilarious only I’m just super cranky and can’t see it? That helped SO MUCH, I can’t even say. It’s hard to find humor when you’re ready to snap, but if you get in the habit of LOOKING for the funny story, you seem to find more to laugh about, to me, and that helps to build a pattern in the way I look at things.

Kelli Carpenter 8 months ago

Oh man I hate those parents!

Hannah Pemberton 8 months ago

I don’t care. There is no way for you to know if that child you are judging is neurotypical or not.

Michelle Ranere 8 months ago

My son is the kid that wont share

Kelli Carpenter 8 months ago

Much better said than my reply!! Wish I had said this instead!!

Kelli Carpenter 8 months ago

Presumably the writer is talkimg about neurotypical children who simply behave bad. Satirically, NOT making an ignorant statement regarding children with genuine issues

Molly Brockman 8 months ago

Lmao. It’s crazy when all these comments are coming from other WOMEN. Hurt my feelings any? Nope. I hope none of you breed. Lol.

Jamie Lynn Bear 8 months ago

For the I know everything kid, I like rolling my eyes and saying something to the effect of, ‘I’m just in awe of all the life experience you have at 9 that I don’t have at 30. You really do know everything.’ Said rudely with an accusing look. That will make them step back a wee bit.

Victoria Bruce 8 months ago

I have a 2 year old #5 (hulk kid) and a 6 year old number #10 (you’re not the boss of me kid)

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Susie I love it! We were all laughing so hard, my ribs hurt all evening. They were a little less nice about it too, than the refined version that got printed LOL When I say they owned it, they OWNED it. “If I were [brother’s] mom, he wouldn’t have been allowed out of his room for a year while that stage was going on!” I hope they grow some patience before they have kids of their own, or I may have to harbor my grandkids for a while for their own safety! J/K I love how we can talk about stuff and laugh about it, even while some of it is still happening. They’re very self-aware, and I dig that.

Dana English 8 months ago

This article forgot the kid who can do whatever they want. Their parents don’t discipline or police them so you look like an asshole when you reprimand them. I cannot stand those kids or parents!!!

Jamie Lynn Bear 8 months ago

Screw anyone who got butt hurt about this. Thanks for writing!

Katie Tookie-Tookie 8 months ago

I have one of each…and I only have two kids (excluding the baby).

Lisa Schwatka Preis 8 months ago

There are some adults who are still in these phases! Lol!

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Cassie my daughter, just turned 13, is up to her neck in that phase right now and sinking deeper every day. None of the boys went through that one, so I’m inclined to blame it on girl hormones, but dear sweet lord, one of us may not make it through this!

Kim Allport 8 months ago

Kids are a reflection of the parents. If parents are dicks, the kids probably are too.

Andrea DiMenna 8 months ago

Rewrite the title already: 10 Kids Who Suck With The Exception of Your (insert diagnosis) Kid. I think this was meant to be humorous-relax! Lol

Lake Traasdahl 8 months ago

This list is my husband

Maggie Morgan Bacon 8 months ago

Unless you live it stfu. Some issues are sensitive and i have a right to my opinion and personal testimony. Move on if you don’t like it. Be a troll somewhere else. I have a great sense of humor. Just like you, sometimes things cut deep, especially when you live with a child that puts you through an emotional roller coaster ever. Single. Day. I’m passionate about this.

I get the stares when my child breaks down in public. He doesn’t “look” autistic. He’s just high enough on the spectrum where at first glance, you wouldn’t know. You would think, that kid just needs an ass whooping. So when you lived it, come back, and we can talk. Not as a person that belittles them because of life experiences, but as a compassionate person that feels you tribulation.

Laura Hanjoglu-Goerke 8 months ago

OMG my kid has been 8/10

Beth Wilson 8 months ago

My 5 year old is soooo the But Why? Kid , drives me up a wall

Horsecrazy Art 8 months ago

this fits my sisters kids they are holy terrors i cant stand to be near them and they are so mean to my son who is special needs

Jessie Mazelin 8 months ago

How. Did. You. Survive???
I have a kinder. He knows all, and I’m always wrong. He’s always tattling. Always saying he “doesn’t want to”or “doesn’t have to”
I don’t know how to get through it with both of us alive in the end.

April Almeida 8 months ago

LOL you sound like a pretentious asshole. Your kids’ a little shit.

Larry D Paulson 8 months ago

That better? Kids don`t suck!..

April Almeida 8 months ago

Yes they do. As do whiny parents who boo hoo, like you.

Tambra Ewen Mitchell 8 months ago

You left off “The Kid Whose Parents Give Them Everything, Does No Wrong, and Makes Sure You Know It Because She’s a Princess”. Had one of these in our last neighborhood….not sure who was worse: her or the parents.

Monica Brady 8 months ago

What about those saying it’s the parents’ fault for letting their kids be too loud? Are you going to bitch at them too? Cause I’m sure *you* can control your autistic kids, right? For fucks sake people it’s an article that’s meant to bring levity to situations that make us all want to cry sometimes.

Susie Meadows 8 months ago

I do love a good use of the word “asshattery”. I also love this article. But I am the biggest of all fans of the fact that your kids helped write this one. They know they’ve been assholes. And they’re on it.

April Sumner 8 months ago

oh well my kids don’t do that. But other kids still bug them to use it and try to take it from my kids and look enviously at them the whole time. the other moms prob hate me too because then their kids bug them about why don’t you bring big floats or cool toys like that for me?

Brittany Stephens 8 months ago

my son isnt autistic and is loud as hell. even i think he’s an asshole sometimes because he just wont use his inside voice!

Jessi Ellis-Clements 8 months ago

My youngest stepson is all 10 of these with a heaping dose of ADHD. Back talks, disrespectful, obnoxious, mouthy to his parents. Every time we go to the store, he thinks he should be able to get something. He’s 9 and has worse table manners than my 20 month old. He manipulates them bcuz they got divorced. I hate going anywhere in public with him. He doesn’t pull that crap with me, he knows I have about zero tolerance where he’s concerned. I figure 3 more yrs and the cops will be bringing him home. He’s a bully.

Brittany Stephens 8 months ago

yeah my kid has no volume control unless his dad is sleeping. Then he’ll just whisper.

Katie Armstead 8 months ago

Participation awards SUCK and teach NOTHING!

Lisa Marie Combs-Presley 8 months ago

The compulsive lying and/or stealing kid…which then turns into the “I didn’t do it kid.” Ugh!

Jessica Culpepper 8 months ago

My children are one or all of these at various/all times. That’s life.

Kate Davies 8 months ago

Oh dear I like to think my kid doesn’t suck but he’s currently 1 through 5 at the age of 2 I fear he will be 6-10 as well once he’s old enough!!!!!

Charlene Deanna 8 months ago

Ya girls are the worst for drama.

Hannah Pemberton 8 months ago

My son “is” all of these… HE HAS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER. Way to teach your kid to be accepting of those who are not perfect.

Lindsey Cagulangan 8 months ago

This is so funny. I will say, though that all kids fit into one of these categories at some point or another. The perfect child does not exist but I still enjoyed the article and laughed bc I know so many kids that fit into at least one of these and even my own kids :)

Amanda Orozco 8 months ago

So true. Kids try and get away with anything and everything.

Cassie Lamb 8 months ago

My nine year old, right now, going through the “I’m the victim and it’s everyone else’s fault” stage. This one needs to hurry the fuck up and pass, already!

Glenda Miller 8 months ago

#8 makes me insanely angry.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Amanda oh girl, I hear you! The “I didn’t do it” phase is a whole house affliction and the “I have no volume control” kid will never grow out of it. I have had his ears checked and EVERYTHING. He’s just really loud. Must have good lungs and super vocal chords, I guess LMAO

Bex Pohlen 8 months ago

My 4 yr old son is number 9. He asks why for everything and when we tell him don’t ask why he responds with…”but a why man is a good man”…. No clue where he got that from:)

Jennifer Longino McCullough 8 months ago

Some articles are clearly meant to be humorous and taken light heartedly. Thanks for being overly sensitive and humorless.

Charlene Deanna 8 months ago

You two ladies ^^^ you can’t tell a child is autistic by looking at them. I bet there are a lot of people who hear a loud child and say omg how anoying and the child is autistic. I hear about this all the time people can’t expect children who are different and it causes a very ugly world.

Faith Giovanni 8 months ago

This should say parents who suck for letting their kids act like this !

Lindsay Waldron-Carter 8 months ago

Lmao! I can see my child in a few of these and also some other kids I know. Difference is I’ll admit and try to correct my child from being like this others are just blind and oblivious that their perfect child could possibly do any of these.

Jennifer Longino McCullough 8 months ago

Hilarious article. Some people have no sense of humor. All of my kids have done some of these and are still in some of them.

CourŦney Brooke 8 months ago

Loved the article. Loved the humor.

Paige Woods 8 months ago

Parents love their children no matter what. But still doesnt mean your kid isnt an asshole. You sweetheart are part of the problem if you think he’s not. And if you read in the comments the author along with some of her own kids wrote this.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Tamara, I think my brain has repressed the trauma of the cry baby stage, so I can’t remember how old they were when it happened, but I FULLY remember second grade (that’s 8-9, right?) being the most heinous “I know everything because I’m in school now and I can read, and did you know did you know did you know did you know” to the point where I was ready to send them to live with Gramma until it was over LMAO

Cassie Lamb 8 months ago

I despise awards just for participating. And, yes, my kids play sports.

Jennifer Longino McCullough 8 months ago

Three kids here and each one of

Shawna Wensky 8 months ago

I think we’ve all had or been around any or all of these children and one point or another. It’s just the way they are. Sometimes it’s just phases, but other times it’s more than a phase – it’s a way of life.

Katy Lantis 8 months ago

Volume. That’s my son haha.

Paige Woods 8 months ago

Ok parents i dont think…and the author can correct me if i am wrong. But i believe she is talking in reference to healthy children. Children that do not have autism or anything that would prevent them from having good manners. Not saying autistic kids dont have manners, just saying they truely cannot control themselves. Same a a child turrets can’t control themselves. This is aimed at those children that are true brats. Little assholes that yes the parants should almost beat on the daily because they have shitty attitudes. All children go through most of these stages. Yall shouldn’t be so sensitive folks.

Scarlett Beck 8 months ago

This is funny !!! Ha ha ha ladies relax and have some sense of humor !!!

Larry D Paulson 8 months ago

I don`t like your stuff, it is not funny!…

Marlena Davies 8 months ago

My child is popping in and out of a few of these currently. Is she an asshole? Sometimes yep, definitely. Would I tell her this to her face? No.
Those of you who have an issue with this have clearly missed the point and or tone of the article and are quite possibly following the wrong kind of parenting commentary site/page.

Claire Culshaw 8 months ago

We’re currently at ‘volume control’ and ‘you’re not the boss’ with our 7 yr old but have also gone through most of the rest …

Colleen Triglianos 8 months ago

And the big kid who pushes ahead of the little kids and thinks they don’t have to wait their turn.

Carrie Ebert Nadeau 8 months ago

Kids are kids, they grow they learn and sometimes end up picking up a bad habit or trait. Most of the time they grow out of it! I know mine have showed a sign of some of these ; )

Raymond Dowd 8 months ago

my neice said you don’t love me anymore (i told her to pick up dirty clothes in her room) i said i never even liked you, your a brat also your adopted and your from china, she is blond and with blue eyes, i still tell her that, she is now 30 years old.

Lorena Cordova-Gamino 8 months ago


Sonja Hannan 8 months ago

Yayyy my kid doesn’t suck :)

Dena Fisher 8 months ago

My 8 year old hits all of these. She’s autistic, but strangers don’t know this when she acts out and we get a lot of stink eye in public.

Trish Conway 8 months ago

I don’t allow my kids to be friends with “those” type kids. Problem solved.

Morgan Strong Greene 8 months ago

I have a 14 month old son. I adore my son. I love my son. I would die for my son. And some times he is an ASSHOLE! That’s why he has a mother & a father to turn him into a gentleman.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

<–Author here! All five of my kids went through every one of these stages. (Some stayed in them longer than others.) And they actually sat around the living room helping me write these descriptions about each other’s phases that sucked ass. It was one of the most fun writing sessions ever. Sorry to those who don’t get it, or think it’s too harsh. My kids are 5, 13, 14, 15 & 16 and fully own up to their asshattery (both past and present) and can laugh about it. We like sharing glimpses into our dysfunction, and knowing that other people can commiserate and laugh with us.

Eloise Abbott 8 months ago

I really hate the “brat” kid!
The kid who tells their parents to shut up and are plan fucking rude and the “give me your attention kid”
You’re trying to talk to the mum and meanwhile this kid will be screaming “MUM MUM MUM MUM MUM” all the time!! I actually want to tell that kid to shut the fuck up me n you’re mum are talking you little asshole!!

Kelly Smith Trail 8 months ago

What about the “Santa isn’t real kid”. Shut up you little monster!

Charlene Deanna 8 months ago

I have 5 kids and each one has at least one of those traits lol. My youngest 4 yrs old is the I didn’t do it kid, my 13 yr old daughter is a no it all, my 15 yr old son is still the hulk, my 10 going on 11 yr old is the whining child and my almost 9 yr old is the your not the boss of me. And yes I am exhausted!

Shannon Bowman 8 months ago

My 6 year-old is 6-9

Maggie Morgan Bacon 8 months ago

Some kids have issues like autism….like my son…that may not be able to control things like volume. Way to be an asshole with this article.

Melissa May 8 months ago

Pretty sure ALL kids are several of these lol!

Ann-Luise Marshall 8 months ago

I had three of these kids in Sunday School this morning.

Beth DiStefano 8 months ago

I’m living with a 3 year old #9 and it is maddening! I’m all for questions but hearing “but why Mommy” at a rapid rate of speed for a lengthy car ride in a snowstorm was a bit much the other day. I have a 4 and 3 year old, plus work in a k-5 school…. So I have all of them almost daily!

Chris Poindexter 8 months ago

I know of a kid who is 2., 4., 7., 8. and 9., all rolled into one and the parents are always insisting it’s everyone else’s fault and their kid is a victim. In the end, like the OompaLoompas sang, “You know exactly who’s to blame. The mother and the father.” When I can push down my personal loathing for the kid, I am angry at the parents for the unforgivable disservice they’ve done this child. That unpleasant kid will pay the price by having to see disapproving faces, adults and children’s barely concealed dislike and feeling the sting of others not wanting to be around them. It will shape who they are later.

Lauren Keasler Bass 8 months ago

The “It’s not fair” kid…exhausting. Life’s not fair. Deal.

Amber McCammon 8 months ago

My husband’s cousin exhibits EVERYTHING on this list….and he is a fully grown man in his 20s….what an ass.

April Sumner 8 months ago

As a mom of a kid with autism I have the no volume control kid and his twin brother takes after him too. They also end up the whiny ones a lot. Not much I can do about it, but I work on and try but been trying for years now and not seeing too much improvement. I hate that people would hate my kids for that. On the other hand, I don’t think it is wrong for another kid to bring cool toys to the park or the pool and not share. If I bring a giant riding shark for the pool it is for my kids to use. If your kid wants one, you bring one for your kid. We share communal property like slides or swings, but that stuff we bring is for us. If my kids are not playing with them currently I don’t mind letting another kid use them as long as they are not rough with it, but when my kid wants it, they get it. I did not go through the trouble of hauling that huge ass shark float to the pool for YOUR kid.

Wilma Ricarte-Caganap Bruss 8 months ago

As a middle school teacher, I see all of these types everyday!

Lynnette Panarra 8 months ago

It’s not the kids who suck. It’s the parents who aren’t consistent and end up raising the kid we all try to avoid

Kim 8 months ago

My son is #4 and #5. At the end of church service when all the kids are coming up from children’s service in the basement, I can always pick out my son’s clarion call above the fray. And he is speech delayed so it’s just screaming and shrieking — happy screams– but screams nonetheless. ha ha And toys are for throwing. He can be careful but if you turn your back for a moment quiet play in the living room turns into torpedo alley. If you build a block tower he is smashing it down before you can let go of the final piece. I’m sorry. So sorry everyone. ha ha I am trying.

My daughter is still an infant so not sure which way she will go but she just may be a #4. She gets excited by my son’s shenanigns.

And my husband is still a #5. ha ha

Katie Armstead 8 months ago

4, 6, 7 and 8 OOOOMMMMGGGGGGG. NO just no.

Geraldine Kearns Rosney 8 months ago

It’s not the kids that suck they’re only young kids generally it’s the parents in a lot of cases

Savannah 8 months ago

What about the interrupter? Waits until you start talking or someone starts talking TO you so they can talk/ask you something/not just wait a freaking second.

Amanda 8 months ago

My daughter is the cry baby kid.

Heather Libercci 8 months ago

I live with #7 and he is 20 now it started when he started school and never drew out of it.

Courtney Marshall 8 months ago

You forgot to mention The Do What I Say Or Else Kid. Ya know, the bossy one who cries “I don’t wanna be your friend anymore” because your kid puts his foot down and doesn’t want to be bullied by your DWISOE kid.

Lorrie Warfield 8 months ago

It’s supposed to be funny people. ..

Romarie Garcia McCue 8 months ago

If any parents say that their kids NEVER acted out any of these traits is in DENIAL! I will admit that my boys have exhibited most of these traits at one point or another but I take the opportunity to ensure they know that those behaviors are not appropriate and it will NOT be swept under the rug and there will be consequences for them not for me lol.

Erin Weston 8 months ago

Yes. Kids can suck and kids can be assholes. So can parents. Everyone can at one point or another. Life is too short. Lighten up.

Alyssa Marie Cook 8 months ago

Lol, so like, every kid. At least MOST grow out of it.

Jamie Ostertag 8 months ago

I have an 8 year old that is a three sometimes..depending on her current mood and my four year old is a 4 and a 10 All. Of. The. Time.

Cora Turnage Ray 8 months ago

Yes, some kids can be assholes but I believe it’s the parents fault for letting them be. They would rather the a friend and do whatever it takes to make their children happy instead if telling them no.

Amy Thompson 8 months ago

Agree, every kid goes through many, if not all, of these at one point or another.

I am not fond of the “cry baby” the incent whiner! I can not stand when I am talking to a parent and their child interrupts the whole time to whine about one thing or another.
My children have been taught, when people are talking you wait your turn #1, #2 I do not and will not indulge and listen to the whining…I will not stop what I am doing to encourage the behavior.

Good luck parents. It is a fun ride 😉

Molly Brockman 8 months ago

My sons not an asshole. That’s a pretty harsh name to call a child. He’s the one who never does anything wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault, and has an excuse for EVERYTHING. Sure, it gets on my nerves. But his father and I try to raise him right. Hopefully this is just a stage he’s going through. But whether it’s a stage or not, I love that little boy to death, & of all the things I’d refer to him as, an ‘asshole’ is nowhere near on that list. Who comes up with these articles anyway?

Sherri Mouland 8 months ago

Doesn’t these cover childhood in general? :(

Jessica Josh Pman 8 months ago

My 5-year old is #7 and it annoys the crap out of me!

Kay Marie 8 months ago

Sadly my 5 year old is every one of these. Yay me!

Elizabeth Dale 8 months ago

My oldest is the ‘why?’ kid lmao, i only answer if she can come up w an entire question consisting of at least 5 words :)

Amber Farmen 8 months ago

I guess my kid is gonna suck, because I’m not forcing my kids to share. Meh. Oh well.

Jenny Caron 8 months ago

I think my 3 yr old could fall into a few of those slots, just a little. Thankfully it’s just with her brother and not in public!

Kristen White 8 months ago

Kinda harsh…kids are kids. It’s the parents that don’t accept these kid things as phases that suck.

Lorin Sue Shreve 8 months ago

Kids are every single one of these traits at some point in time. There kids

Amanda Burden 8 months ago

#7…. My 5yo the the most annoying #7 that ever existed. Trying so hard to break him of it before he starts kindergarten and his teacher HATES us!

Danni Cooper 8 months ago

My daughter is currently a ‘lovely’ mix of no volume control and you’re not the boss of me. Yup.
I have met a child younger than 8 already in the ‘well you’re basically crap at that, do it right’ phase. The one where you’re like, ‘oh dear goodness, back off, everyone makes mistakes’. I have a feeling ‘you’re not the boss of me’ with DD will morph into something like that, or ‘I’m a mini boss who will tell you exactly how I want this done’…

Trina Loy 8 months ago

Aw I don’t think any child “sucks”. However, there are quite a few parents who do.

Loreen Petzing Hamilton 8 months ago

I can see some of these but really? Loud kids? I was one of those kids and really just didn’t know how loud I was. Glad that means I sucked. Harsh.

Becki Blaubach 8 months ago

I have seen my oldest go through every one of these. And now watching #2 do it too. Oh the suspense of waiting for #3 to start too!

Cindy von Metzger 8 months ago

You should make a site with funny stories and call it scary kids!!!

KelleyJo Lancaster 8 months ago

Children are just soooo childish!! It’s the 20 year olds that STILL are one or more of these that scare me

Julie Gates Velasquez 8 months ago

I think most kids go through some of these stages at some point or another. That doesnt make the assholes. Kinda harsh. Lol. My opinion

Melissa Soar 1 year ago

Aww how nice of you… ^^

Melissa Soar 1 year ago

“My son is adamant about being butt naked today. And not using the potty. He clearly has zero appreciation for logic. Kids are dumb.”

Elizabeth Grattan 1 year ago

I don’t know that I’d use peace loving or long haired. But yeah.

Kate M Shannon 1 year ago

I’ve been called a bad influence many, many times. But then again it was mostly from the parents of my friends who were helicopter moms, or really really really harsh and judgemental. =P

Agnes Potega 1 year ago

Ha ha ha!!!

Janine 1 year ago

TeeHee I could add a few to this list! Very cute post :)

Jaime Holmes 1 year ago

Oh man, as a former kindergarten teacher, so much yes! And as a mom of a 6 month old and 7 year old F$%k yes!

Megim Parks 1 year ago

I have to add one to the list. The “I can do anything I want because I’m smart and cute enough to get it out of you” kid. Ugh!

Sherah English 1 year ago

My oldest is going through the know it all phase. We started calling her Sheldon (from Big Bang theory) whenever she starts acting that way. Now she’ll start laughing and realize she needs to back off on her argument a bit.

Kristine Croddy-Swertfeger 1 year ago

I live next to a home day care, this is almost every kid in the day care. All 10. Its a nightmare . BTW i live your page! I could go on for days about what I see and hear that goes on next door. If you have a teenager send them to work in this day care for a week best birth control ever.

Mark Clough 1 year ago

I did not like kids when I was a kid. And I still don’t. They are the meanest and most immature people on the planet. But that is just “kid fashion.” We needn’t psychoanalyze. It very simple, always love them, even if you don’t like them. My children are adults now. And I love them as I always did. But now I can say I really like them too. All good things come to those who….

Staci Drexler Newman Staler 1 year ago

But ya gotta love ’em anyway ❤️❤️❤️

Jessica Morrow 1 year ago

Every kid at some point goes through these stages. Sometimes as a parent you want to sit back and laugh at the silly things. Parenting doesn’t have to be 100% serious!! Elizabeth Grattan sit back and relax…you may enjoy it….

Amy Garcia 1 year ago

Both my kids #4!!!!

Heather Childress 1 year ago

Why do I feel a tofu article coming on

kay 1 year ago

this hits it right on the nose my husbands daughter is this what erks my nerves especially the no sharing thing and the everything is theirs we have a child together he has three with someone else and only the one is like that she wants to touch all of my kids shit and then throw a bitch fit when my six month old grabs her barbie and try to punch her and yes i do spank her and then needless to say me and my husband fight all the time about it because he says she doesnt know any better she is eight years old yes she has a speech problem but she is not excuse my langauge fucking mental or helpless we go to a friends kids party oh no she has to open their presents or she screams hits etc. i love kids but his eight year old is a straight up brat and knows it and knows she can get away with everything even shiting at the splash pad in the zoo oh she doesnt want to stop playing for five minutes to go take a shit so she says oh well lets just pull my bottoms down and shit right here in front of god and everybody she also shit in our front yard because she didnt want to get out of the pool to go inside she she just poped a squat in our yard ive never seen the likes of a child like his and the worst part about it is im afraid our six month old will pick up on her bad behavior his other two kids yeah they are 10 and 14 and they are very nasty throw food in the floor etc. but they are no where near like the eight year old im to the point i just want to leave when she comes over !

Bethanne Corl 1 year ago

I own a #9 and 10…can I have a drink now?

Stephanie McGuire 1 year ago

I so needed this today. My ten year old became no less than 7 of these children while shopping at Target. I therefore morphed into the screaming insane mother who has completely lost it for the 4.6 mile drive home. I even threatened to cancel his trip with his grandparents and keep him home to do hard labor. I must have been convincing, because that was the emptiest threat I have ever used. He’s cleaning his room in silence and has become the DFWTPOM kid (don’t fuck with the pissed off mom)

Amanda Whelton 1 year ago

I find that all children are one of these at one time or another!! Even if the parent does not realize it, it happens lol.

Ann Marie Klingenberg 1 year ago

Mine are 15 and 20 and have gone through or are still in one or more of these phases. Anyone who is offended by this post either doesn’t have kids or is delusional. Motherhood can be the most amazing and THANKLESS job all at the same time. And I do mean job. Because sometimes it does feel that way. The garbage man get a more respect! You love them none the less…but sometimes you have to work at liking them.

Fiona Kara 1 year ago

I ask my kid (3,5 y.o.) if he wants a sandwich. His answer? “Whyyyyyy, wah?” Honestly, wtf?

Why, Mommy? 1 year ago

BUT WHY????????????????

Jessica Guy 1 year ago

What about the” I don’t know why I did it.” After they take a big glass of koolaid or milk and pour it in the floor.

Michelle Frittitta Adams 1 year ago

I considered a kid to be satin’s spawn. A year later he is much better. I wouldn’t leave him alone w/ my child, but there’s hope for him.

Elizabeth Grattan 1 year ago

I haven’t really seen many posts at all offended by this page or the linked post?

I’m certainly not offended by the post on kids. It’s tongue in cheek.

Maria Wagner 1 year ago

Yes! #11. Ugh!

Maria Wagner 1 year ago

Aaggghhhhh! My kid is a 3 and 9 ( 6 yr old boy). It drives me insane, especially when every type of intervention has not worked ( of course I haven’t move on to spanking yet >;). I live with the mantra that “he will out grow it”. I hope

Carrie Griffith 1 year ago

So true! Mine will be a senior this year, just when I’ve started to like her again she’s going off to college! WTF!?!?!

Karyn M. Osuna-Poindexter 1 year ago

My child is the #9 kid..But why?? Why do you say so? I need an explanation mom, it can’t just be NO all the time, kid.

Thank God he doesn’t whine when he says all of that. Shit, I hope I didn’t speak too soon! hahaha!

Paulina Borcz 1 year ago

Lol we all have at least one of these kids. They all suck.

Princess Aries 1 year ago

I don’t have children and after reading this, I’m going to get my insides scooped out with a spoon! I applaud all of you mothers! I don’t think the world is ready for “mini me”.

Debbie Maydak 1 year ago

I wasnt directing it to HER, I was directing it to other moms who think my kid is loud.. too freaking bad.

Amanda Isabel Méndez 1 year ago


genie 1 year ago

What about the “where’s mine?” kid. The neighborhood kid that will come over and expect that YOU should provide her with whatever your kids have. Playing with trains – “where’s mine to play with?” Having a Popsicle “can I have one?” look kid ask your parents!!

Nicole Sharp West 1 year ago

This is awesome.

Lauren Incognito 1 year ago

I’ll play the part of the mom who missed “wacky sock day” and “crazy hair day” because she forgot to put it on the calendar or put a reminder note up.

Marci Bohlman 1 year ago

I have twins, one is #3 and other #5!!!

Cindy 1 year ago

Oh lord! I totally agree! I have 4 children ages from 22 to 2. I am sorry but almost all kids are one or all these in the span of childhood. Any mom who says her kid has never been any of these is delusional or on better drugs than the rest if us!

I love my children and for the most part they were great. I love the spirit even my worst child has! But honestly if you can’t see your own children for what and who they are in the stages they go through you shouldn’t be pointing fingers at other peoples children. 😉

Just my opinion. My grandmother once told me… If you don’t think of strangling your child at least once a day you aren’t a hands on parent. She was a mother of 10 and a saint for surviving it sane!


Becca Jenkins 1 year ago

2,4 & 6!! they’re all my youngest son.

Kelly Bicket 1 year ago

My kid has 2 -4 of these going at once. How about writing about the lame parents responses to these horrid kids. I’d read that! Thanks for the laughs.

Lisa Mulloy 1 year ago

I have a 23 yr old daughter, an 11 yr old stepdaughter and an-almost-16 yr old stepson. And they have all been in everyone of these categories. I love all three kids but all kids can be assholes.

Meg Hissam Lail 1 year ago

Might I add the “shrieking eels”…the ones with the impossibly high pitched shriek that they love to echo continuously through every public place and stabs through the back of my skull like an ice pick

Christopher Pollifrone 1 year ago

Three points to scare you further:
1. Some kids fall into the “#11 All of the above category”.
2. One of them might live near you (or WITH you).
3. They become adults

Ashlee Justice 1 year ago

So I have two children with ADHD and I am not against spanking a child but will say its an approach that does not work for my kids . I just sit them down and talk to them until they feel like they are gonna go insane lol that’s punishment enough for my kids lol

Jennifer Peters 1 year ago

Mine’s number 6. Surprise!

Samantha Appolis 1 year ago

my daughter laughed at this but she sucks!

Christina Ahn 1 year ago

My kids are guilty of a few here and I also hate it when they do it just as much as when other kids do it

Brieanna Haney 1 year ago

I think my 3 year old is in like 3 or more of those fazes right now 😛

Mandi Martin 1 year ago

“This is the kid who learned to whisper in a sawmill…” yep. mine.

Lacee Donohoe 1 year ago

Every single kid is everyone of these at some point. And if u even say “no not my kid” u are part of the problem

Brandy Nikole Minchew-Jones 1 year ago

Lol. Wow. I’m so screwed. I have a #2 kid. A #3 kid a combination of #4 and #5 kid and a combination of #6 and #7 kid.

Caro Haz-Redpanda 1 year ago

Yes. Kids do suck. That’s why you make every attempt to try to raise kids that don’t suck. Mine is a a 7 year old cry baby over little things like whether or not his balloon is red, but he cleans up after himself at restaurants and in retail. A fair trade.

Stephanie De Bear 1 year ago

You missed the Tattletale kid. The one who if she doesn’t get her way, or if your kid is sarcastic like his mother and she doesn’t get what snarky is, she’ll run home to tell her mom. Ugh. Suck. It. Up. Baby.

Crys Carroll 1 year ago

how about renaming it the 10 phases that all children go through? :)

Julie Strimer Wells 1 year ago

My oldest is 11 and he is #7 to a tee

Erica Bryan 1 year ago

Everyone has their own method of discipline…let it go ^^.

Angie Monahan 1 year ago

Pretty sure I have a couple of these in my house currently! Fun times

Amber Oswald 1 year ago

Hm…I read this list and it is no doubt that it can be referred to for adults too.

Karen Buck 1 year ago

Kids are over rated! I have 3. That makes me an almost authority–oh yeah, I also was director of many preschools & day cares–I am an authority. Love my kids dearly–but they’re obnoxious and over rated!

Linda Cecilie 1 year ago

You said it, i agree

Stephanie Michelle 1 year ago

This is every single kid in the world at one time or another.

Samara Salvione 1 year ago

I am the parent who will will say “sorry I am late, my kid was being a raging asshole…nice to meet you…” the ones that laugh are the ones I will drink my Adult Gatorade with at noon on the school football field while the demons we love play ball…the ones that give me dirty looks…well..they are the ones we laugh about…because if you say your kid is not an asshole sometimes…YOU are an even bigger asshole…because only a major asshole thinks their kids are “GREAT” All. The. Time….

Amanda Jimenez 1 year ago

So basically every kid, ever born..sucks sometimes.

jennlw 1 year ago

My oldest was one of those. Starting around age 3, every statement I made, she saw as the opening of the negotiations. It was exhausting! She a pretty good 13 year old now, if that helps!

jennlw 1 year ago

Yeah, my kids have said this a few times too!

Autumn Ouimette 1 year ago

Yup my 16 y/o daughter is #8, #9 and #10 all rolled into one know it all, smart mouthed, “I don’t have to listen to you” teen…counting the days until she graduates

jennlw 1 year ago

I worked in a daycare for 4 years and then had 3 kids of my own. I’ve experienced all these kids!

One you missed is the Velcro kid, which is my middle daughter. This one that must sit against you on the couch at all times, so you have no elbow room for typing or sipping your coffee, hold your hand from the backseat while you are trying to drive, and hang all over you while sweating in line at the amusement park. I flinch when she’s near me because I’ve been poked in the eye too many times! Now that she’s 10, she has outgrown this a little bit. 😉

Jacqueline Carter 1 year ago

Looking for the hide button is there one? Lol

Jacqueline Carter 1 year ago

Omg I know a kid that is 7 out of 10 of these and I could create more categories to fit this kid’s description. . Like the manipulater and attention hogger… just to name a couple lol

Laura Martin Davis 1 year ago

My 10 yr old bears a close resemblance to the “Why” kid – except his word is “What” with a belligerent tone as if he simply cannot fathom why I just told him to get off his computer, at the same time I tell him every single flipping’ night. Ugh.

AB Lukey 1 year ago

Sounds like every kid haha!

Valerie Johnson Catullo 1 year ago

My 3yr old son is going through a phase of a combination of several of these right now. He was completely inconsolable yesterday – but only to me. As soon as ANYONE else would pay attention to him, he was fine. The best part, he learned the phrase, “No Mommy, I hate you, go away” from his older sister and kept screaming it. Thank God for the kindness of other people because I almost had a nervous breakdown yesterday.

Lorna O’Shea 1 year ago

Lol I think all kids go through the stages but no 2 and 3 I can’t abide and will not accept from my lot. No 1 is fair if it’s a new toy and they shouldn’t have to share, I know if I got new toy I wouldn’t want to share straight away…

Jennifer Williams Bonk 1 year ago

When exactly doing they stop sucking? My oldest are 20 and 13 and still can act like every kid on the list on any given day. You forgot one – teenagers – they suck. Period. No explanation needed. Lol. And wow some of the parents on here need to lighten up. My oldest has mental health issues and he still sucks sometimes. That doesn’t make me a sucky parent. It makes me human.

Lizzi 1 year ago

All three of mine pretty much cover every single one of these on any given day. Each. Wine anyone???

Nicole Francisca 1 year ago

All together now!! The perfect Kids birthday party!!!:-P

Breann Louise Hall 1 year ago

My kids are all of these… but we left out the “I didn’t do it!” child (even when you saw them do it) and the incessant tattle tale

Michelle Sullivan-Jensen 1 year ago

Or my kid, the one who is going through puberty and is moody. All. The. Friggin. Time.

Helen Russo 1 year ago

I’m absolutely terrified to read this list!

Paula Murphree 1 year ago

My five year old daughter is going through the cry baby phase and it’s absolutely driving me nuts!

Amanda Lee Errichetto 1 year ago

My kids do 4 out of 10. And yea it can totally suck at times. Love them anyways and wouldn’t change it for a thing.

Zelda Hunter 1 year ago

Kids are our punishment for treating our parents so bad when we were kids, its a vicious cycle which will never stop, but I cant wait for them to have kids, cause it will be payback time. And just because we are truthful about how we sometimes see our kids, does in NO way mean we dont love them, some days we just dont like them….

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

They’re not “all” male pronouns. #1,2,4,5, and 10 are. That’s half. I started out trying to make it gender-neutral, but it just didn’t play out like that. (See the footnote for further clarity LOL)

Jennifer Maronese 1 year ago

A bit from column A and a bit from column B

Debbie Gutierrez 1 year ago

Kids will be kids..

Christina Wood Jackson 1 year ago

Definitely the whiner, and right now REALLY the give it to me kid…Madeline is also the hulk and more than anything, the volume control!

Renee S. Wilson 1 year ago

Ok, looky here, I only have 2 kids but 9/10 of these fit BOTH my kids. F U for sharing this. Dang it.

Debbie Gutierrez 1 year ago

Right now I have the whiney kid and the, ‘but why?” Kid Lol

Katrina Moraitis 1 year ago

Lmao! That’s gold! And, there totally needs to be a “game runner” on this list!!!!

Nathalie Tsabari 1 year ago

And then they grow up to be adults like that!!!

Jodi Krista Blaydoe 1 year ago

That’s my almost four year old son! After half dozen times calling his name or asking him to do something I tell him “I know you can hear me! We had your hearing checked!” … Then he responds!

Réka Belényesi 1 year ago

I HATE THE HUGGERS!!!!! The one that keeps on coming to ur baby and hug him til he cries and u can only make them go away (because their mother wont) when ur baby is already crying because of all the “LOVE”…….. I could kick them in the ass, man ! =D

Janet Suzie Zook 1 year ago

You people ever hear of a program called “Back In Control”. It effectively gives the parents tools to help with unruly children. One of the things it taught me is kinds are stimulated by our actions and reactions. They need clear rules and expectations. Check it out. It truely helped me and my children

Nikki Norman 1 year ago

Yep, yep, yep!

Sarah DeLaura 1 year ago

My son has special needs and he’s the kid who just won’t go away. He is 6yrs old and I still can’t pee without “MOMMY!” “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” And the volume control is ridiculous. He has no idea what inside voice is. *hint hint* it’s not ‘yelling quietly’. I love him dearly but yup some days he just sucks. Like the today when he was egged on by his older cousin(the one that knows everything) and my son threw a corn on the cob at me. Never before has he ever thrown food at me. All of a sudden it’s hysterical today. Had nothing to do with him having special needs. Had everything to do with him being a brat and a 6yr old little boy listening to his older cousin who thought it would be funny. Special needs or not, that was just bratty dumb kid behavior today. So today, yup he sucked.

Tucker Ricioli 1 year ago

The truth of this list aside (and yes I agree, I’ve met most of those descriptions)… Why are all the pronouns male? Terror kids are only boys??

Sarah Powerhouse Sadowski 1 year ago

Or the one that you tell him “no”, and he locks eyes with you and does it anyway!
My kid. And he’s an eye roller. Makes wanna smack the snot outta him.

Suzanne Jazzebella 1 year ago

Recognize a few… if she becomes all of theme i’d still love her more than life itself !

jessica 1 year ago

I actually feel alot better knowing I’m not the only parent who has a child who has been all these types of kids. I feel like I’m really doing something wrong in raising him. He can be so sweet but man sometimes he can be a handful times ten

Sarah Powerhouse Sadowski 1 year ago

Just experienced the outlet experience after 2 years of telling him to stop putting crap in the socket….he learned his lesson. Lol.
Scared the crap outta me!

Claudia 1 year ago

Oh dear Lord! I can definitely relate to a lot of those scenarios! Lol And it sucks when it’s your own kid! Lmao

Sarah Powerhouse Sadowski 1 year ago

Good lord this sounds like terrible 3’s.
Someone save me! Lol

Mandy Smith 1 year ago

I have a crybaby kid….it drives me insane. It’s been a “stage” for the passed 3 yrs. she’s crazy sensitive…we clash

Wendy Roehr Martin 1 year ago

Nobody is ever talking about atypical children in these things. Never.

Samantha Seekins Johnson 1 year ago

Lol!! My kid is worse than Calliou!!! I realized that the other day and almost hit my head against the wall. Haha

Jennifer Winston 1 year ago

Kelly Ames Smith apraxia is pretty rare..and yeah some criers may have sensory disorders or pervasive disorders..my oldest son does, of course most people sympathize with those kids, but most of the time when kids are behaving like that, they are acting out. Scary Mommy is a humorous, lighthearted column/blog meant to be taken lightly..chill

Teacher Girl 1 year ago

What about the “somebody somewhere is bullying me” kid? Of course real bullying is a serious issue, but this kid takes any form of disagreement as a personal assault and runs with it. “Jill got the red marker first and she says I can’t have it until she’s done. She’s bullying me!” “Jack said he likes Bill’s picture better than mine. He’s a bully!”

Emily 1 year ago

You forgot the “Tattletale Kid”

Samantha Seekins Johnson 1 year ago

My 4 year old is a little terrorist!! He lies, hits is 6 month old sister, and calls me a f*cker!!! I don’t think I can spank him anymore. He just doesn’t get it. Sooo annoying!!

Courtney Crump-Cochran 1 year ago

I know some kids that are all of these rolled into one kid!!!!

Tamarah Rockwood 1 year ago

3, 5, 6 & 9 are my Nemesises.

Cindy Barrientos 1 year ago

Well my kid a a little of all those except #7

Suzanna Sands 1 year ago


Michelle Horsley 1 year ago

Several of these describe at least one of my brood – 2 of my own and 3 step-kids.. At least I’m not alone is these frustrations!

Lynn Waters Goodson 1 year ago

How about the sneaky kid, the “it wasn’t me” kid? I can’t stand kids who start shit and then deny, deny deny. I think my kids have gone through all of these phases!!

Suzanna Sands 1 year ago

I was just thinking the same with my crew. Lol

Jodie Allen 1 year ago

Just about got all 10 covered with my kids

Danielle Smith 1 year ago

OMG, yes!!!!!!!

Katie Brown 1 year ago

I know some adults who fit this list perfectly 😉

Kimberly Webb 1 year ago

These sound a lot like the Willy Wonka kids!
And my 5 year old daughter is currently every one of these!

Maria Johnson 1 year ago

I’m so glad to hear/read that my kid isn’t the only one who “knows everything”. Holy crap it’s annoying.

Tonya 1 year ago

My son is every one of these kids, all in one day.

Glenda Palma 1 year ago

Thankfully, my girls are not there yet.

Brenda Y. Davila 1 year ago

That’s my grand daughter!!! Not only will she not shut up she tells everyone everything that’s happening in our lives!!!

Jaimey Forrest 1 year ago


Sc 1 year ago

While this is so true and funny, it hurts a little to read it. 3 of my 4 have ASD and they sometimes cannot help it. I thought the stabbing of ears was so accurate. Especially when you go to a store without kids and you hear someone else’s kids being one of these. Sigh.

Julianne O’Donnell 1 year ago

I KNOW! Lolol I was dying! You two popped in my head immediately while reading each one

Ima Mommy 1 year ago

Dont forget the manipulative, constant tattle tale!

Sarah Staudt Fowler 1 year ago

And sometimes it’s the same kid who does ALL of these, at the same time.

ItzMe Nikki 1 year ago

Lawd, lawd, lawd………I know these kids all too well, My motto is “I ain’t scared to F$&K UP a toddler!!! Lol

Heather Roberson 1 year ago

hahaha! I have one of these too. Fortunately he is down right adorable and cracks me up as well or he too would be in jeopardy :-)

Stephi Dennison 1 year ago


Jessica Williams 1 year ago

You must’ve met my niece lol! Every single one of these is her and on a daily basis 😛

Rebekah Ahearn 1 year ago

Unfortunately my son is number 1 3 and 10. :( im screwed.

Kim Doering 1 year ago

You missed 1…the kids that aren’t disciplined and you know run the household…UGH

Lynne Potts 1 year ago

And my child is 5 and he already knows everything and I am just dumb. Wtf am I going to do in ten years? He is going to get worse. Someone either shoot me or pass the vodka

Brittany Marie 1 year ago

Haha this is unreal how real it actually is

Stephi Dennison 1 year ago

*note to self* keep caillou away from my son. Thanks guys!

Wendy Murrell Hickman 1 year ago

Haha! Hilarious!

Ana Estévez 1 year ago

I have not read the article yet, although after reading a couple of comments now I’m afraid to do so, even though I only have one and is not even 2 years old yet… 😮

Chrissie Quez 1 year ago

Yup, my kids are all of these

Lynne Potts 1 year ago

Your blog makes me feel sane and normal and I need this. All of your blog post. I feel SANE. Thank you.

Carrie Smith 1 year ago

Pretty much describes all kids in general.

Mary Jane Holland 1 year ago

I only like my kids.

Karen Germano Bilodeau 1 year ago

I have a #4 & a #8 ugh!! Lol.

Jessica Mentzos 1 year ago

Lol… Awesome.

Cynthia Rosenfeld 1 year ago

The kid who loves to talk about his playdates with those who are not invited, causing hurt feelings every where he goes.

Ashley Faught Mitchell 1 year ago

OMG, my most favorite topic, i really am glad to read this post and comments, it reminds me im not alone, i have a 20, 16, 8,5,3, younger 3 are my nephews, i pray every day for a padded room with medicine that makes me happy and drool, did i mention, kids suck, thank you for the post, love IT

MamaTeach 1 year ago

I wonder at what age their ‘true’ type finally emerges…. because, I’ll tell you what, my 3 year old is ALL of these. right. now. From one minute to the next like a crazy, bi-polar, little tasmanian devil of personalities!!

Aerin Freno 1 year ago

my 1.5 year old is driving me bonkers lol.. Hit her terrible 2’s too early, has the brain of a 5 yr old, and is about as mischievous as one can get.. I kid with others that she really needs a leash, though I do believe it isn’t the right thing to do, but boy, she can really tap the ol nerves 😉 lol Oh and she has learned the word no quite well now 😛 On the other hand, my 5 year old is about the sweetest girl I could have ever been blessed with…. I love them the same, idk how they could be so different… i think the youngest takes after her dad 😉 <3

Meghan Valene Donovan 1 year ago

The “my kid never does anything wrong parent”! If he acts an ass it’s not because he needs his butt busted but because he’s tired, or he’s hungry, or he isn’t feeling well…. No, it’s because your a weak parent who is scared to parent your child!

Nom DePlume 1 year ago

Oh I don’t know – my daughter has ADHD, and that volume one sure for the first decade. 😉

Kerry Lush 1 year ago

My daughter is all of the above.

Christine Greenham 1 year ago

Yes all kids Suck at some time!! Lmao we made them that way lol

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

Obnoxious Bingo! I like it!!

Mary Schneider 1 year ago

LOL If someone is offended by this post, they didn’t read it. It’s not about the KID sucking, it’s about their BEHAVIOR sucking. If someone doesn’t get that, they need to check their twisted knickers at the door.

Amy Lyons 1 year ago

#2. There was a kid at the beach who came up to us and said he was going to take our sand toys. My dad quickly told this entitled child he wasn’t going to touch them. yuck

Teri Oliphint 1 year ago

Yes, yes, yes!!!!

Kathy Johnson 1 year ago

Oh, but you forgot #11. The”I am Better at Anything than Anybody” Kid. You know the one. The one who’s parents spoil and lavish praise for the most insignificant of accomplishments, so that the child is absolutely convinced of their superiority to everyone. Each sentence and reference and conversation will be interrupted with this child’s bragging, self-righteous, sanctimonious contributions…no matter how trivial. I think there’s an epidemic of these kids lately…

Keri Foxon-Cifaretto 1 year ago

That was great! :)

Daniela Agnello 1 year ago

Lol my kids are all of these rolled into one!!!!

Hannah Duran 1 year ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg that’s perfect!

Scary Mommy 1 year ago

oooooh, a matching game would be fun!

Sarah Jane Campbell 1 year ago

Yes, there needs to be a meme picture that you can put on most threads ‘Im just hear to see the “WELL, MY child has, is, was…” comments’

Raphaëlle Thiriet Zilio 1 year ago

I’m SO grateful I have escaped caillou for now… 😉

Mary 1 year ago

That one’s the very close cousin, if not IS the “I waaaaaaant it noooooow” kid.

Sena Walsh 1 year ago

My 4 year old currently fits the bill for 7 out of 10.

Amanda Freeman 1 year ago

My son can certainly be any which one of these kids at any given moment! Lol. However, there are some good qualities in between too.

Amanda Bernier 1 year ago

Totally agree I have a almost 11 yr old and I think between 10 and 11 for boys is the worst so far I tell him all the time “”LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE NO LONGER NEED GOOGLE BECAUSE MY SON KNOWS EVERYTHING” I also have 6 yr old twin boys that are starting to catch up to the older one!!! Lol

Jaclyn Sterling 1 year ago

I have a #5 and a number #9. we shall see what the 3rd entails…

Brandy Lopez Barbee 1 year ago

I think the point was rather … When the kid shakes it in another kids face and says look what I’ve got, sticks their tongue out and acts like a creep.

Rachel Carrigan 1 year ago

Lol!!! Mine are a lot of these Lmao!!!!

Laina Rose Rogers 1 year ago

I have three “4s”, a 6, 7, and 8. None of them have volume control, my oldest is the bad influence (although thankfully he uses his powers of charisma for good instead of evil 95% of the time), my youngest is the know it all, and my daughter is Princess It Wasn’t Me. Thank goodness they confine most of it to home instead of sharing their joy with the world.

Lizette Alvarado Stradford 1 year ago

ha ha ha fucking kids drive me nuts!!!

Laina Rose Rogers 1 year ago

My 7 year old can rewrite history and is a terribly convincing liar, so I’ve had many of those conversations.

Cassandra DeBaets 1 year ago

There’s also the I’m So Frail and Helpless So You Must Do Everything For Me kid. Mine pulls that crap even though he dismantled his toddler bed o.O

Michelle Badillo 1 year ago

Thanks for putting out there what most of us are thinking

Natalie Surran 1 year ago

Mine too!! At the bottom I like how she adds that her kids were all of them;)

Jen Marshall 1 year ago

I think my son might be a #4 child 😉

Renee Pfeil 1 year ago

Funny stuff!

Tonia Garrett 1 year ago

Oh Manu have the “but why” kid :-/ I think I can handle it over most of the others though

Elisabeth McWilliams 1 year ago

O.m.g yes!

Sarah Grcevich 1 year ago

I’ve always hated #1!!

Cassandra Ellen 1 year ago

Haha, dying. My kid is the ‘maybe it was a ghost’ kid

Sarah Ledgerwood 1 year ago

This is too perfect.

Shannon King Gomez 1 year ago

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL this is awesome.

Nicolle Martin 1 year ago

The sneaky kid!!!! The one that does it anyway and then walks away and pretends they weren’t doing anything wrong!

Jen Crowder 1 year ago

My son is autistic and loud too. I take no offense at all. In fact I love it even more because I can turn around and say hey asshole my kid has an actual diagnosis and not just asshole parents when we get the stares and comments LOL. And yes my kid is an ass some days as well- autism aside they still are kids and they do learn these behaviors (some days I’m proud to see him have these asshole moments)

Meg Apgar Lyman 1 year ago

LOL that was awesome

Brooke Nolley 1 year ago

#4 yessssss!!!!!

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

LOL I’m sorry I laughed so hard! Mine are hellions too, but they’re so awesome. Some days. They grow out of all of it eventually, with a little love and excess amounts of “go to your room” after the teenagery bs hits.

Brittany Bishop 1 year ago

I have all of them wrapped into one sassy little girl. My boys on the other hand are pretty mellow….most the time lol

Christina Marie 1 year ago

This was some great birth control haha

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

Mine are 5, 13, 14, 15, & 16. It gets better, and then it gets worse, and then it gets better, and just when you start to like them again, they move out. Or so I’m told.

Cathleen Castle Hyde 1 year ago

That’s my 4yo lately.

Shannan Adams 1 year ago

I know every single one of these kids!!! Either one of my kids at some point, or one of their friends. Jeez…

Lisa Renee Benson-Kase 1 year ago

Can’t wait till my kids are older so I don’t have to be around other people’s kids. Lol

Raphaëlle Thiriet Zilio 1 year ago

It stung a bit because my autistic child has trouble with volume control as well but there is no need for that kind of reaction. She’s talking about typical kids. And in my case, I found it nice to realize that even typical kids can be loud too and that it’s not just my son 😉

Lisa Renee Benson-Kase 1 year ago

The top 6 take the cake. I can’t handle it

Kathy Kolaja McGowan 1 year ago

It sounds a lot like my girl with Asperger’s syndrome. There is no such thing as a bad kid. Even if they don’t have a special need. It’s just time to try a new approach because if you have a (bratty) kid, obviously what you’re doing isn’t working.

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

Draft it! There’ve been some posted in the past, but new ones are always fun!

Paige Chandler 1 year ago

On. Fucking. Point.

Kristhian Perez 1 year ago

My kids suck sometimes doesn’t mean I love them any less. but they can also be the most awesomest ( yes I’m aware I said most awesomest) kids in the world.

Bex Juneeda Chingaso Barco 1 year ago

GOOD LAAAWD!!! my kid is all of the above and what I fear most is #6. It really doesnt help any when his dad is a shit for brains and when The Boy comes home he walks in the door with his “im a gangster like my dad” attitude I put that shit to a stop real quik. Really sucks that he goes with him every 2wks -__-

David Lamoreaux 1 year ago

And the decision not to have children is affirmed!

Chris 1 year ago

My neice is the “but whyyyy” and the crybaby. Sooo keeping my distance so she doesn’t rub off on my dude

Alicia Collins-Goveia 1 year ago

Omg my kid has no volume control right now -__- everything he does is LOUD…

Vanessa Janik 1 year ago

Most of these seem like phases rather than who these kids are. If you’ve come across kids who act like that ALL the time than there’s a problem. But obviously like adults kids aren’t perfect…. I know plenty of adults that suck!

Sara 1 year ago

Luckily I haven’t experience much of this with my son but give him time, he’s only 22 months! At least I know I won’t be alone :)

Kristin Harvey 1 year ago

I know a few of these! Not all but a few.

Kacie Ly 1 year ago

She’s done it and it’s great. You can find it in the archives!

Lee Anne Malloy Vega 1 year ago

Mine check 3 or 4 of those boxes, at the same time :(

Pooja Rathore 1 year ago

I have a little ms. But whyyyy ??

Adriana Hernandez Arnold 1 year ago

I have a #4 and #8 & they’re twins!

Kristy Honeycutt Brennan 1 year ago

Terrible two’s….Horrific three’s…..Need I get to teenagers.

Mandy Renfro 1 year ago

#9 — my oldest right now!

Kacy Lanier Brown 1 year ago

Isn’t this all kids at some point or another?

Angie Ramsey 1 year ago

^^ MyLove THAT made me laugh.

Jo Parker 1 year ago

I was like this when I was a kid and I can see why my mother drank. LMAO!

Emily R. V. Ballard 1 year ago

My kid is #4 and HOLY SHIT YES IT SUCKS sometimes.

Wendy Sue 1 year ago

#8 the worst!!!

Heather Bill 1 year ago

Ha! Almost all of these children were in my house today…and there were only three children in my house today!

Maria Tripp 1 year ago

I know a lot of typical kids that have no volume control.

B Jasmine Zinser Craddock 1 year ago

My three year old was such a jerk tonight! I was taking her out of the tub after 3 warnings tonight and she scratched the hell out of my arm because she wanted to still play “Little Mermaid”. Jerk!

Michele Stiles-Pawling 1 year ago

I just told a friend this morning that dealing with my four year old son is like trying to break a horse!!! This parenting shit can be so damn hard!!!!

Lisa Sorrentino 1 year ago


Tara Anderson-Delgandio 1 year ago

Amen! I’m not alone in this world.

Amy Crane 1 year ago

Ha!! My daughter is five and is the whiny one also! I have ALWAYS blamed that on Calliou! I can’t stand that kid’s voice but has always been the favorite cartoon. Ugh!!

Mallory Hoffman 1 year ago

Ha! That’s my kid but it’s mostly just walls and other inanimate objects so I think we’re good with no apologies. She’s the only one getting bruised anyway!

Brandy Purcell-Christner 1 year ago

Damn My kids do all these!!

Lisa Sim Smethers 1 year ago

We were probably these kids at one time too…

Ashley Runck 1 year ago

I have a three year old daughter and I’m telling you everything posted about kids sucking and being jerks makes me litterally lmao because it’s so true and now I don’t feel bad about it because it’s not just me who feels this way : ) Love this!!

Karen Mayer 1 year ago

I agree with all but #1. I don’t expect kids at a beach/park that I don’t know to share their toys with my kid and I don’t feel that my kids should have to share their toys with strangers either. Play dates and school situations, yes, kids should share. But other than that, it should be up to the kid who owns the toy and their decision should be respected. JMHO.

Tonya Francisco Scallon 1 year ago

My oldest…. She has a will and determined spirit made of platinum!
If I didn’t give her the heart dropping panic attack whack on the rear to save her life at least twice a week. That girl wouldn’t of made it past 4!

Kellie Herbert 1 year ago

I’ve found with my boys it’s cyclic and often gets worse with growth spurts. I blame testosterone lol. Feed them loads of good food and encourage as much sleep as you can. I hope he improves for you soon.

Michelle Remmel 1 year ago

Mine just turned 7. Hes a smart ass but hes my smart ass. I’m just happy he’s an “all for one and one for all” kind of guy.

Shawna Bradfield 1 year ago

* Spank * they’ll remember! And it won’t even hurt that bad! It’s the sound.

Mallory Hoffman 1 year ago

My kid totally sucked this morning.

Alyssa Benton 1 year ago

Lmao! My 2 kids are a good combo of 3, 4, 8 & 9. :

Daniella Mendoza 1 year ago

My kids are 8, 3 and 1.5. I’m doomed.

Kelli 1 year ago

Where’s the “I’m going to whisper in my moms ear” kid. Just makes ya want to vomit! Open your mouth and speak out loud, you freaky kid!

Kellie Herbert 1 year ago

Lol. Hang in there. They are all brats at times.

Jacqueline Carter 1 year ago

My kid is the whiny one… it irks me to the core.. he’s almost out of it.. thanks Calliou this didnt start until he started watching your dumb show. Lol

River Song 1 year ago

A woman after my own heart . I have a few ideas especially after a early am park day today.

Heather Childress 1 year ago

My youngest is 4 and I thought I’d won, I really did, NOW he wants to be everyone of those kids all in one day, plus all the crap you read saying tantrums taper off around 4 LIES LIES, he’s just got started!

Daniella Mendoza 1 year ago

Son of a bitch!!! every single one described my kids and I only have 3 kids

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

Three is a billion times worse than 2, BUT on the back side of 3, creeping up on four, is a teeny tiny window of rainbows and spun sugar. When you find it, hug the shit out of them, because it won’t last long.

Maeve Rhuad 1 year ago

Oh no…that’s in one more year

Bridget Mahoney Jacks 1 year ago

I have an “I’m going to debate every last request you make of me however minute it may be” child. Thankfully she has redeeming qualities or she probably wouldn’t make it to adolescence.

Gracie Lou 1 year ago

That’s my soph!

Maeve Rhuad 1 year ago

Oh haha I didn’t read the footnote until now..

Erica Ponte 1 year ago

Then we can play “match the kid with the parent!” Hahaha

Katy Ake 1 year ago

Oh same here! He is 9 and thinks he knows all! Ugh!!

Marissa Cummings 1 year ago

My daughter has been/ is all of these at times…… There are times I want to run away. She is 5 and has started “packing her bags to find a new family” when she doesn’t get her way…. I help her and let her walk out the door, where she sits on the step and about 5 minutes later comes back in to apologize….

Maeve Rhuad 1 year ago

Well this sounds like every kid at some phase. So basically al kids suck. Reasonable considering most adults suck too.

Kelly Sankovich Cann 1 year ago

I have a few of these kids for sure! Especially #4,5,7, and 8.

Heather Cibor 1 year ago

My daughter is in a stage where she thinks it’s AWESOME to pretend she didn’t hear you so you repeat yourself multiple times. ^^^ multiple personalities noted above lol I think my kid might too 😉 one minute we are sweet and loving and the next minute she’s any of the children from that list lol

Jeel Porreca 1 year ago

This is why I love this page!!!!!!

Jennifer Lavin 1 year ago

Oh my God! Mine is #4 (#4 was the loud ass kid, right?) all the waaaayyy! She has NO inside voice, I shush her all the time!

Heather Childress 1 year ago

There’s hitting and there’s spanking, spanking does indeed work for most children. I spanked my eldest when she just wouldn’t listen about touching the stove, she never tried it again, my youngest for attempting to run into the road, we haven’t had him do it again. I guess we could have just kept sweetly explaining the consequences, or time out until both ended up dead or horrendously injured.

Linda Ode 1 year ago


Kylie Russell 1 year ago

One of mine would fit almost every category, the other one is just a crybaby…Oh the delights of children! And the broken record about smacking is getting annoying.

Lissette Yahia 1 year ago

She’s not referring to children with issues. Just assholes

Monica Grigson Gulley 1 year ago

I thought it was funny.

Marisa Lott 1 year ago

Mom of 3 boys 14,11,6…. I lost in the award department long ago.

Brwynn Ostrenga 1 year ago

I think it was someone’s sick joke whoever coined the phrase terrible twos because EVERYONE I know thought they rocked the terrible twos and then their kid turned three and then they understood what terrible really meant!!

Shannon Tucker 1 year ago

Same applies to adults who suck lol

Abigail’s Mommy 1 year ago

My child is #7. My husband says she gets it from me. Sadly he is right.

Katy Ake 1 year ago

OMG my 8 year old daughter really sucks sometimes. I love her but oh man sometimes I can’t stand to be around her. Oh and the crying!!!!! Ugh!!!!

Amanda Hall 1 year ago

This post seriously turned into people worrying about punishing their kids? How about some of you laugh a little. My daughter hit number 3 perfect tonight at soccer practice while still maintaining a number 10 attitude, and my son is a great combination of four and seven. Lol

Lissette Yahia 1 year ago

Golden rule: don’t argue with a 6 year old

Marnie Chan Demeterio 1 year ago

My answer to “But whyyyy?” Is always “Becauuuuse” in the same tone of voice. Yep, I’m really mature.

Lissette Yahia 1 year ago

Ummmm I hate this article. Only because I realized this is my son. All 10 traits of him!!!! LOL

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

He may have gotten eaten by the But WHYY kid lol I think I merged those two together!

Marnie Chan Demeterio 1 year ago

It’s like they hit puberty and they flip the little “asshole” switch and it’s downhill from there…I love the little crackheads but I don’t think Benadryl is strong enough for this stage…

Andrea Medina 1 year ago


Shawna Wensky 1 year ago

I’ve given up on the award years ago…. 😉

Tessa Brunson 1 year ago

I have a #4. I get looks all the time. Ive pretty much Given up going out anywhere

Amanda Etcheto 1 year ago

I was the “it’s not my fault”kid. But it really wasn’t my fault. My older brother was sneaky and sly and would do stuff and run tell mom it was me before she could catch him. Constantly being blamed and punished for stuff I didn’t do turned me into the ” I’m gonna get blamed for this anyway so why not join in and have some fun before I’m punished anyway” kid.

Kristy Honeycutt Brennan 1 year ago

I have raised two kids that did every one of these at one point. We all survived! I enjoy the humor in these posts. Can’t take raising kids to serious!

April Lamkin 1 year ago

Being loud doesnt make you autistic. Maybe not assume everytime someone mentions something thats ALSO common in autistic as normal childreb, maybe not jump the gun and assume thats what they are talking about, youre autistic kid.
And btw, autistic or not, theres not wong with finding a loud person annoying, even hurtful to the head. So just because we understand theres a good reason for it, doesnt mean we are horrible for trying to avoid the headache associated with it. Or make the already existing headache worse.

Michelle Remmel 1 year ago

I have a 7/8 kid. Hes definitely too smart for his own good, even if he doesn’t have all the right info, and whenever there’s an incident at school, its always because someone else did it.

Marnie Chan Demeterio 1 year ago

How about the “oh, I have that too!” Kid. The one who says that to your kid every time she busts out a really funky outfit. I hate that kid. And her mom.

Maureen Thompson Glunt 1 year ago


Liz Campione Fronczek 1 year ago

So like, every kid ever?! LOL

Kelly Conley 1 year ago

Have you been in my home watching my kids?!?! Sadly they are 13 and 10, so to the moms of little ones, rest assured, it only gets worse. I love my kids with all my heart and soul so don’t get me wrong but some days I want to give everyone Benadryl.

Susannah Gingras 1 year ago

all kids suck at times. you have to be delousional to think they dont, especially teenagers

Wealisa Crawford 1 year ago

I realized I hate kids after mine turned 3. She is now 15 and I still hate kids. Of all ages. They are jerks!!

Cindy Bryant 1 year ago

That’s my son too. Loud and deep !

Allison Smith Killins 1 year ago

Marybeth…9. Really?? I thought my 7 year old was going to grow out of it soon …I need to lie down and get some wine, not necessarily in that order.

Nicole Adalio Flegal 1 year ago

These are great!!! Lol

Jackie Power 1 year ago

Haha! Hilarious!!!!

Lina Weiss Jenkins 1 year ago

I got a #5:)

Wendy Roehr Martin 1 year ago

Kids totally suck, except when they totally make your life awesome!

Jo Hannah Parkes 1 year ago

This is great! If people can’t find this funny they’re not enjoying their children enough!!!!!

Kelly Kristensen 1 year ago

Haha my almost 4 year old daughter is the kid with zero volume control who wants it NOW and wants to know why she can’t have it. Only one short year ago she was such an angel lol. Thank goodness these phases end!!

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

There is a lot of shit I say to myself and honestly to my kids when I get pushed to the limits. Like, ” I’m gonna spank that little ass! Have I done so, No.. Am I thinking it , and does it feel good to sometimes yell it.. Fuck yea it does.

Marybeth Reardon 1 year ago

My kids have been each of these things. But I seriously don’t think my 9 year old will ever learn to talk quietly!!

Allison Smith Killins 1 year ago

The kid who won’t sit still, ever.

Christy Underwood Clark 1 year ago

I currently have the why kid/I will argue with you over every damn thing kid — 10 year old girl and a loud as crap kid — 8 year old boy. My sweet 12 year old hasn’t ever been any of those. I am afraid of his teen years.

Darlene Sanchez 1 year ago

Ugh I know one that is all of those bundled in one. Joy to be around….

Latasha Solis 1 year ago

my 6 year old son

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

I’m pretty sure that all of them are perfectly normal stages. At least, I hope so, because every one of our 5 children went through these phases at some point.

Elizabeth Kelly 1 year ago

Not sharing and I know everything…drives me crazy!

April Lamkin 1 year ago

These are my kids….sorry lol

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

Omg, I totally forgot the You don’t Love Me Anymore Kid! My five year old is at that RIGHT NOW. Any time I tell him “no” he starts in with the “Awwww you make me sad. You don’t love me!” omg shut it. Yes, I love you. No, you cannot go play in the yard with the neighbor kids naked. Put your pants on.

Kati Terlecki 1 year ago

What about the angel child who thinks everything they do is cute? What makes it worse is most of the time the parent seems to think so too :/

Crystal Giordano Pearson 1 year ago

7…..:/ I hate that! Sadly…my 12 year old has been doing it…along with one they missed…the…”I was a complete Angel until I hung with the bad influence kid…but now im a complete bitch kid”….my kid has been SUCH a bratt!!!!! 12 years old…I know..I know…its her age…hormones…yadda…yadda…BULLSHIT! I raised her better then tell me…”so what? You gonna cry now about it?” …..are you fucking for real you little brat? Come closer…yea…say that to me a lil bit closer…ur “just” outta mommys arm reach…lmao. lol….no..no…tweens r freakin awsome. :/

Jessica Holyko 1 year ago

My seven year old is 1, 2 ,3, 4, 5, 8, and 9, all in one adorably infuriating package.

Rachel Trask 1 year ago

#7 is the worst! Seems to be super common in preteen girls. Not pumped for my daughter to get there.

Tracy D Waite 1 year ago

I have a 4 year old son who fits that description perfectly Lauren!! Lol

Michelle Bechky Lynch 1 year ago

With 5 kids around here, we have someone acting like at least 3 of those kids at any given moment. I try to remember they it passes. The one who is being a turd today will most likely not be a turd tomorrow.

Cindy Bryant 1 year ago

I think she is being sarcastic.

Rheanna Rocha 1 year ago

I have a 3 and 9 (in one child) lol.

Michele Cleveland Watkins 1 year ago

Bahaha!!! My three year old is the “no volume control kid”. It drives me INSANE!!!

Melanie Thielmann 1 year ago

Lol love this…… So true, whomever pretends to love and adore all these kids is lying to himself! My eldest used to be the whiner and my youngest has no volume and breaks everything! Good thing we all have a sense of humor!

Lisa Pack 1 year ago

Forget terrible 2’s.. Aged 3 may as well be classified as terrorists lol

Sunshine Medina 1 year ago

I’m so sorry Kristi ((hugs))

Jessi Miller 1 year ago

We’ve referred to my 2 year old as the Hulk ever since he was a baby. “You won’t like him when he’s angry!”

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks that! I’ve got 5, ranging in age from 5 to 16, and although toddler years are a pain, it was the 8-9 year span when I really wanted to send them to live with their Grandma for a couple years LOL I don’t even stress puberty as much as I loathed the second grade, I know everything and I will never shut up because my brain is on fire and now I know everything and did you know did you know did you know stage LMAO

Janine Hudson Rea 1 year ago

The crybaby kid drives me crazy – I’ve been around enough to happily say not all of them belong on this list.

Jennifer Osso 1 year ago

My lil 9m has not been corrupted YET. My 7y is 7 and 8 with eye rolling. My 4y is a NUMBER 4 and 8.

Sakyamuni Dz Sn 1 year ago

Victor Dominguez Totally applies for the classroom as well.

Lisa Bouchard 1 year ago

I have a neighbor that’s a #6 and sure enough her father is a mix of #7 & #8. Its lovely, really.

Sarah Elizabeth Roule 1 year ago

I have a 4 yr old, “I didn’t do it” kid. Problem is it’s like crying wolf, bc sometimes he really didn’t do it. God, love him. Other than that and the fact the my kids hardly ever share with each other by their own free will, they are perfect. Jk. 😉

Donna Oestreich 1 year ago

My son is the # 2 and 4 kid. My daughter as of yesterday, is the # 10. She informed me that she indeed is the boss. She’s four and a half. Sigh.

Kimberly Price 1 year ago

My daughter fits into all this categories and she drives me insane she is two and beats up and bullies kids way older than her. She beat up my nieces friend and made her cry and she is like 9 yrs old I love my little girl to death but sometimes she is uncontrollable. She was a good child I hope she is not going through those terrible two’s stage.

Melissa Colella 1 year ago

My daughter will be three in August, depending how the wind blows she can be either of theses kids. Then some days she’s a sweet angel. WTF I thought the twos were supposed to be terrible, does it get better?! Lol

Jocelyn Todd 1 year ago

I was a step parent to a boy who was all of these rolled into one. I lasted 5 years before it was game over, mostly because of his dad.

Victoria Valderrama 1 year ago

Bravo!!! Love the list & love the comments not a single Debbie Downer (thus far!)

Paige Delgado 1 year ago

Love it

MyLove M. Barnett 1 year ago

You can thank my husband for that one LOL My 14 year old son is the proud holder of this place in line, and has been since we coined the phrase around his third birthday LOL I’ve had this child’s ears checked and EVERYTHING. But he’s just loud as hell, ALL the time. And since his voice changed, I swear it’s even worse. Now he’s loud AND he’s got a deep bass rumble to go with it LOL

Kimberlea Haff Carney 1 year ago

Our friends kid was the I will say anything because my mom thinks I’m clever and all your kids aren’t relevant kid. She still gauges his worth on whether he is doing better than his peers and if he isn’t she lets him know he isn’t measuring up as a man. He lags indignantly behind plotting his eventual rise to greatness and they are still co-dependent at 30 yrs. of age. So hard to deal with kids are the direct reflection of a shitty parent. By the way our kids are and always were great. Oh and my kids ability to deal with life in a humane compassionate manner is a miracle to her considering he never had a hands on mom, her words!

Kellie Herbert 1 year ago

Isn’t that all kids at some point in time lol. I get what you are saying though. Some are just intolerable.

Lauren Ward Bridges 1 year ago

If you have taught for any number of years it is very apparent that some kids DO suck, big time. I’ve taught at least five of each of these sucky kids.

Michele Fasold Brickey 1 year ago

I have a number 7

River Song 1 year ago

Lets do a list of the top ten parents we can’t stand next.

Adriana Garcia 1 year ago

The tattle tell is the WORST

Michelle Nilsson-Hrin 1 year ago

I got #1-2-3-4 & 9. Does that mean Blake scores 19 on the Suck Scale?

River Song 1 year ago

I must say AWESOME !

Jamie Garrison 1 year ago

I’m living in #9 hell right now…and the “because I f*%?ing said so” almost flew out of my mouth today!!!

Dawn Pelej 1 year ago

11. The I want to make up all the rules and then only I can break them kid.

Which combined with the crybaby kid was my kid today.

Which is why I will be drinking when he falls asleep.

Barbara LaBerge Rueda 1 year ago

My step daughter is all of these rolled into one

Sara Johnson 1 year ago

This is hilarious and all so true!!!

Katie Helm Smith 1 year ago

Mine is the really loud one! Like ear bleed loud. All. The. Time.

Leslie M 1 year ago

OMG! My kids have a friend who is 100% #1 TKWWS and #2! And the parents ENCOURGE the child to be selfish and greedy! They actually tell him it is ok not to shareIt blows my mind!

Kimberlee Rubin Levy 1 year ago

Mine have all been one of those at one time or another.

Donna Fellows 1 year ago

Teenaged years are just as bad!

Cindy Bryant 1 year ago

Yep I have a loud kid. Yes he has autism , but I still try to get him to quiet down. Sometimes. Sometimes I just let him be loud !

Kristi Noe Weaver 1 year ago

I think my son is a little of all of these right now, some because of age and some because of emotional things (we lost his dad). He sucks quite often and excedrin is my best friend lol

Dee 1 year ago

Don’t forget the asshole kid. Like legit asses.

Amber Ratliff-Miller 1 year ago

My kid has hit all of these phases at some point. He’s currently stuck on the, “I’m going to question you about every decision you make and then whine about it” phase. Is it time for school yet?

Lauren Incognito 1 year ago

Where is the I-can’t-hear-a- word-you’re-saying-even-though-you’ve-told-or-asked me-multiple-times-before-resorting-to-screaming-whatever-it-is-you-need-or-want-me-to-do kid?

Allison Smith Killins 1 year ago

What about the kid who won’t shut up? Ever.

Manon St.Onge 1 year ago

Haha my 3yo is going through 1,2,3,4 + 10 at the moment! Hope it’s better befor school starts in September lol it does suck! 😉 hopefully not for too much longer

Tina Gillotti Stys 1 year ago

LMAO! You forgot the kid that pays no attention to their surroundings and plows into anyone and anything kid. lol

Margaret McKinnon 1 year ago

My oldest is #4. I feel like every other sentence out of my mouth is, “Inside voice, please!”

Kelly Smith 1 year ago

Glad I read your footnote because my kid is in about half of these stages. She is 8. Apparently that is the transformation age from adorable child to pain in the ass.

Brianna Asten Mahaffey 1 year ago

Oh my yes!! Kids can be such assholes!

Jenny Long 1 year ago

Mine have been all of these!

Cassandra Heaps 1 year ago

I have a number 7 who is also sometimes the cry baby lol

Aerin Gunn 1 year ago

My kid’s volume control knob broke off at 11. I can hear her down the hall from her classroom when I pick her up. Except when she’s supposed to be loud. Like tae kwon do. Then suddenly she’s Bashful Betty. Wtf?

Dagne Biggar 1 year ago

I currently have the why kid and he’s driving me nuts. I’m hoping to break this soon haha.

Natasha Robertson-Pendleton 1 year ago


Andrea Szapocznik 1 year ago

I have 3 kids ages 3,5&9. This list is my life, and sometimes I hate it.

Corinne Markowski Donald 1 year ago

That post in no way targeted kids with special needs Debbie. As an advocate for special needs children, I found nothing that pointed fun or ridiculed them. As a Mom, I’ve seen all these types of kids, and they do suck because some kids are plain brats, and some parents can’t say NO, or tolerate too much. Again, nothing against kids with special needs, so no need to use literal potty words, lol.

Jennifer Giannini 1 year ago

DAMN! I’ll have an order of 1 bad influence kid (I am sure Parents bombarded the BOE, about getting their kid switched to a different class). And I’ll have a second order of chronic victim of TKWWS!!!! LMAO! “You don’t love me. How come so and so had that. Wah! No one plays with me?” Oh! I think I ordered a combo. Hahaha!

Jaye Fisher 1 year ago

My oldest is 1 & 7, my youngest is 2, 3, 9, & 10.

Jill Hartzold Morino 1 year ago

Oh, my 6yo has sucked donkey balls for going on two weeks straight! Tonight he’s been crying whenever he’s in the same room as me because I “hurt his feelings” when I told him he was rude then gave him examples when he tried to deny it. There goes my mother of the year award!

Monica Grigson Gulley 1 year ago

I think all kids go through most of those personality types trying to find the right fit for themselves. Spankings and guidance helps then move through them a little faster. However with 6 kids I’ve wanted to stab myself with a rusty soon numerous times lol. My youngest at 8 has adhd, Dysgraphia and severe anxiety so things get crazy here a lot, lucky for me I don’t keep rusty spoons sitting around :-)

Kathleen M. Cornagey Davis 1 year ago

#4–“…learned to whisper in a sawmill” and “…only beget action…” cracked me up! Nice turn of phrase, lady. :) (I currently am suffering through the “I know everything and you’re just dumb” phase. My mother seems to delight in telling me it will exist for the rest of my life.)

Anna Packard 1 year ago

My daughter is the loudest talker EVER! EVERYTHING that comes out of her mouth is LOUD!!! But it didn’t get to me as my as my cry baby nephew. Constant crying about any & everything until he was almost 6!!!

Michele Lehane 1 year ago

My 5 year old is #4 and #5, which makes me turn into #3.

Jennifer Markham 1 year ago

My daughter is soooo the #9 kid and she drives me crazy most days!

Dot Whited McCumsey 1 year ago

Mine is definitely #1 at this stage. I have babysat all the others & I married #10.

Brittany Leigh 1 year ago

Mine is the no volume control kid and the breaks everything kid.

Sarah Jane Campbell 1 year ago

YEP!! Kids can suck!!! Totally SUCK!! Even if they have a valid reason to suck doesn’t make their suckiness suck any less!!

Christie Scianni 1 year ago

I have a #4 and a #10

Brooke Chavers 1 year ago

*I* am literally all of these ‘kids’ hahahahahagaga!!!!!!

DeeAnna Beagley Campbell 1 year ago

Lol My kid wit R.a.d is like all of these kids rolled in one….sometimes she doesn’t suck and is pretty awesome

Amy Renee Buckey 1 year ago

I have five kids, they have done every one on occasion. Kids suck sometimes. Lmao

Bex Pohlen 1 year ago

My kid is like half of these…yikes

Melody Mankus 1 year ago

I think this list covers every kid at some time or another.

Adrian Wright 1 year ago

Yikes! My kid is at least three of those…

Angie Shadduck 1 year ago

Ha! 3 Kids and 4 apply… oh….

Emily Kupper 1 year ago

My kids are all of these at any given moment…

Kimberly Webb 1 year ago

Where is the “it’s/that’s not fair!” kid?

a teacher 1 year ago

Classrooms are full of these children. It’s painful. I can put names to every single one of those just from this past year alone.

Jamie Seibert 1 year ago

Both of my kids have been ALL of those kids. Kids suck.

Lori Westfield 1 year ago