As sexual beings, we like to find tricks of the trade to make our sexy time more fulfilling and satisfying. Not to mention, variety is the spice of life. There’s nothing that can get us out of a rut like trying something new — this holds true for everything from what you eat on Friday night to different hairstyles. So it’s no surprise that what happens in between the sheets needs to be taken up a few notches every once in a while in order to keep us excited.
I’m not talking about doing donuts on your man’s penis, or going full BDSM if you’ve never tried it in your life. All it takes is a little self-exploration and getting your partner in on it.
I don’t know about you, but I feel the G-spot has had its moment and now it’s time to talk about another erogenous zone you may not have heard of: The A-spot.
Yes, you have one. Yes, it can be stimulated. And yes, it’s worth a try to see if you like it being tapped into. It just might be the one thing you can’t do without once you experience it.
Upon hearing about the A-spot for the first time, I had so many questions. What is it? How can I make it dance? Have I been lying to myself all these years thinking clitoral stimulation was enough for me?
Scary Mommy talked with Dr. Jess, O’Reilly, resident sexologist at ASTROGLIDE via email and got all the important deets you need to know about the A-spot.
First, the A-Spot (also known as Anterior Fornix Erogenous) is an exciting zone that can produce “intense sexual pleasure as well as rapid lubrication and contractions for some women,” she says. This is a huge game-changer for me as a woman in my mid-forties.
It’s not fun to feel aroused and excited but be dry as a bone under your hood. Yes, lubrication comes in handy and we are all thankful for those tubes which allow for smooth sailing, but there’s a lot to be said for finding ways to naturally lubricate yourself.
Hey, if it only takes a little relaxation and a few extra strokes of the A-spot to get your juices flowing, it’s worth it.
Mike Anderson, Sex Expert for OhMy.com and Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, told us via email, “A-spot is a patch of sensitive tissue located in the inner ends of the vaginal tube between the cervix and the bladder. It’s also known as the female prostate because of its location and the ability to be stimulated similarly to the male prostate.”
So, where is the A-spot located?
This highly sensitive area is located at the deepest point of the vagina on the upper (anterior) wall. Don’t let the word “deep” scare you into thinking it’s too much work, or will be too big of an ask if you ask your partner to find it and stimulate it.
O’Reilly says, “Although it’s located at the back of the vagina, a long penis or toy is not necessary in order to stimulate this spot, as the average vaginal canal is actually quite short.”
It may take a few tries to get it right (it will be worth it) but that’s the fun of it, right? So, mark “Find A-Spot” on your calendar and look forward to it. O’Reilly suggests these tips for the next time you or your partner go A-spot diving:
“Lubricate your finger with something gentle and water-based and insert it into the vagina along the upper wall. When you reach the deepest point, you can also move your fingers around to locate your cervix, which may feel a bit firmer than the rest of the vagina. Next, swirl the object of your choice (a tongue, penis, toy, or finger) around the opening of your vagina in a circular motion against its walls. Gradually increase the depth as you spiral to the back (toward your cervix), pressing into the sides as they swell with pleasure.”
There are also toys designed to hit the A-spot (like this one), that are great to use solo or with a partner.
If you aren’t into toys or don’t have one handy, Anderson says you can “use positions like doggy style for deep penetration in order to hit the A-spot.”
There is a chance you can orgasm that way, but most people with a vulva need clitoral stimulation . I am one of them and although penetrating the A-spot alone doesn’t allow me to reach orgasm, when it is touched along with my clitoris, it really intensifies my orgasm. I can pretty much guarantee your partner won’t mind the little extra work it takes to make you that happy. Or so I’ve heard.
Another method Anderson shared with us is this: “You can also hit the spot with your fingers by curving them into a hook and insert them an inch to two inches inside the vagina, once you feel the spongy tissue (the G-spot), then push your fingers up another two inches and that should be the A-spot. Then move your fingers in a side to side motion versus in and out. At this point, your partner should feel sensitivity along with the feeling of pressure. If so you have hit the spot!”
So, if you aren’t busy this weekend and are looking for a new activity to enjoy with your partner, maybe suggest brushing up on your A-spot.
In my opinion, you have nothing to lose except for an explosive orgasm that is going to liven up your sex life. It doesn’t take much time, and it just might turn into your favorite way to reach a delicious orgasm.
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