What Does It Mean To Be A "Fitness Family"?

The fitness industry has exploded over the last few decades, with social media really changing the game in the last 10 years. Now, with just one little swipe, you can find hundreds of thousands of people just like you — moms with limited time to exercise, moms with babies trying to meal plan, moms with big kids trying to build healthy habits — to inspire your own family’s fitness. But, the fitness industry also has a lot of ick, like influencer Andy Elliott’s recent video highlighting his family... specifically, his 9-year-old and 12-year-old daughters’ six-pack abs.

Look, I don’t want to give this guy a lot of attention (this man literally has 2.5 million followers on Instagram), but in the video, he has his girls on stage, telling them to “lift your shirts” so they can show the audience how they’ve built their six-pack abs. (At one point, he tells his YOUNG DAUGHTERS, “Don’t be shy,” as they are obviously hesitant to show off their bodies on stage.) He mentions that they were eating “junk food” before the event, and he told them that if they could dial it in and get serious, he’d buy them whatever they wanted.

It’s really gross.

Aside from the blatant objectification of his daughters and forcing them to show their bodies on stage to a group of adults — who are cheering, by the way — and, you know, telling them that their bodies (child bodies!) weren’t good enough to be on stage with him, I guess, Elliott tells the audience not to judge him because “it’s called fitness, idiot” and “we’re a fitness family.”

Um, I need this man to take several f*cking seats.

The actual definition of the word fitness is “the condition of being physically fit and healthy.” That’s it. Nowhere in there does it say you have to have a six-pack or deprive yourself of “junk food” or be an enormous asshole who believes some body types are better than others. There is no “perfect” level of fitness; there is no end-of-the-journey fitness goal.

Fitness is meant to be adaptable. Exercise is meant to be sustainable. A healthy lifestyle is meant to be attainable. Telling people that children having six-packs is what makes you a fitness family? That ain’t it.

While the fitness industry still has a long way to go with some influencers and methods, overall, I feel like there’s been a real positive movement to make fitness work for everyone and anyone. There are literally millions of fitness influencers who are positive, kind, and approachable. Fitness influencers who want you to know that a 15-minute walk is better than nothing at all, and that consistency — not some perceived notion of perfection — is key. Fitness influencers who are pissed at this Elliot guy and the way he has tried to create some weird hierarchy of fitness families.

“This is not fitness. Don’t ever call this fitness,” certified personal trainer and fitness influencer James Cappola says in a reaction video. A dad of a daughter, Cappola angrily shares that he will be teaching his girl what it means to be a fitness family, and “it’s the exact opposite of what you’re f*cking doing.”

Because fitness shouldn’t be built on goals like this, especially for children. We are constantly being bombarded with the right ways to exercise, the right foods to eat, the right body size to have — but underneath it all, there is a very real need to build healthy habits for you and your family. That doesn’t have to mean eating a low-carb diet, having six-packs, or running a mile every day. For some families, a daily walk is just enough. For others, getting outside and playing hide-and-seek before dinner is enough.

Having a healthy, “fit” family means having a healthy, “fit” family both physically and mentally. Kids who know they can trust you. Kids who learn to love moving their bodies because it feels good and makes them happy, not so you’ll take them on a shopping spree.

“Fitness isn’t like this,” Cappola says in his video, addressing Elliott’s kids. “You don’t have to be obsessed with being as small as possible, especially to reach someone else’s standards. Like your father.”

And goodness, how true is that? Fitness isn’t like this. This is not a “fitness family” that we should all be measuring ourselves against. This is the kind of toxic BS that makes people want to avoid any and all kinds of movement, or the type of toxic BS that turns parents into Almond Moms and kids who are stressed about their bodies and how they look before they’ve even reached adulthood.

Being a fitness family means giving a sh*t about your kids. It means teaching them to love their body — and what it can do. Look how high your legs can jump! Look how far you walked! Look how much you can dance! Doesn’t it all feel good? Being a fitness family means moderation, always. Never making your kids feel bad about wanting an ice cream cone, but reminding them that carrots and apples and chicken and eggs can fuel our bodies, too. Being a fitness family means having your own self-worth and learning how to love your body so that your kids never see anything but positivity when it comes to exercise, food, and health.

“Sincerely, on behalf of all parents, f*ck you,” Cappola ends his video. And you know what? Co-sign.