Sometimes, especially in marriage, it’s hard to find the line between poetic justice and being completely petty. When you’re fighting with your spouse, things can get heated and it can be hard to tell if you’ve gone too far or if you’re just giving someone exactly what they deserve.
This was certainly the case over on Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole?” forum this week, where one woman was wondering out loud if maybe she was being a you-know-what to her husband — or if he deserved exactly what he got.
And it was all about a blender. Here’s the full story.
“I bought myself a nice blender, I work part-time at home and also watch the young kids that are too young for preschool,” the mom begins. “Due to me staying home I cook a lot, which I enjoy, so it’s not a big deal.”
No drama yet, but just wait.
“Now the issue is that he was pissed how much the blender was, 125 dollars,” she explains. “This annoyed me greatly since I used my fun money for it and it is a household tool even if he won’t use it. I thought we were over it but I pulled it out again to make a smoothie and he made more comments about a waste of money and stupid buy.”
OK, that’s pretty annoying. But she’s found a solution to his griping.
“I had the conversation with him about the whole situation again, he made more comments,” she says. “Next time I took it out and I had enough. Now every time I make something using a blender I don’t give him any.”
Of course, he hasn’t taken this new rule very well. It turns out a lot of blended things are delicious. And he doesn’t get access to any of them.
“It came to a head today,” she said. “I made a soup and I used the blender. I told him I used the stupid blender to make it so he can’t have any and make his own food. This caused a huge argument and he thinks I am a petty jerk but I have told him so many time to not call my purchases a waste.”
Now she’s rethinking her strategy.
“AITA for taking it so far,” she asks. “This post made me start really thinking about my marriage. I am asking for couples counseling and if things don’t change I will be done.”
The comments that came back were resounding: this woman isn’t an a**hole, it’s her blender-hating husband. And he doesn’t deserve the first puree or milkshake.
“OP has kindly and RESPECTFULLY communicated that husband’s comments are hurtful and should not be made anymore,” one person explained very thoroughly. “OP has done this MULTIPLE TIMES. Further OP was very clear that this item was purchased from OP’s fun money. As a couple they have clearly already established that what one of them purchases with their allotted discretionary fund is up to them. How many times does OP have to explain to this man that he’s being hurtful? Why should he benefit from a tool he continues to use a means to belittle his partner!”
Another person put it much more succinctly: “A blender is a necessity in a kitchen!”
Many people also chimed in to say that the blender was a steal, and it wasn’t even shared money.
“NTA. $125 is not a lot for a blender. Especially if you’re actually using it and bought it with your fun money. I’m not well off and I bought my blender on sale for $300,” wrote one responder.
So true. This might be one of the situations where one fight is a miniature representation of all of the big problems in a relationship. It seems like there’s more than a blender war going on here. And one person is clearly in the wrong, and it’s not the person making all the yummy smoothies.