There are two types of people in this world: people who are above drinking boxed wine, and people who will very gladly place a holiday-themed boxed wine inflatable prominently on their lawn. This article is only for the second type of person.
The very oldest box wine company in the world, Franzia, has announced its 2022 holiday collection, and it’s hard to not want everything. But at the top of my Christmas list is definitely their new holiday-themed boxed wine lawn inflatables, which come with a huge, festive Santa hat perched on one corner.
More deets: They are three feet wide and five feet tall and inflate automatically when you plug them in. They come in both Cabernet Sauvignon and Sunset Blush flavors and retail for $50. And the possibilities of how you can use them are really limitless.
The single drawback is that they are filled with air and not boxed wine. But you can’t have your boxed wine inflatable and drink it too.
And hold on to your red Solo cup: there’s more. The company has also expanded their line of boxed wine-themed holiday ugly sweaters, increasing the tally to five choices. Really, there’s something for everyone (who likes boxed wine).
The newest sweater is yellow with a traditional pattern and it lights up. If that isn’t enough for you, it can also be paired with a matching Limited-Edition Chardonnay box, which you would obviously carry around the party with you.
For those of you who don’t think a light-up sweater is cozy enough, they are also selling a boxed wine holiday onesie, which features strings of holiday lights and lots of boxes of wine. Yes, it has a hood, and yes, it’s more indulgent than drinking straight from the spigot.
Finally, there’s a Franzia holiday scarf, for those with smaller budgets or cold necks. Put it on over your Franzia holiday sweater and go stare at your Franzia lawn inflatable.
Happy holidays to Franzia wine — this is better than the time they released a boxed wine backpack.