I’m 43 & My Eyelids Look Like Labias

In my heart of hearts, I know that aging is a gift that not everyone gets to experience. I know this. But why the f*ck does it have to affect my eyelids so damn much?

I am not a vain person, per se, but watching your face slowly (OK, kinda freakishly rapidly) change will make even the most self-assured woman feel like crap. I’m 43 years old, a mom of two kids, and a busy, working person. And in the past, oh, six months, I’ve noticed that when I frown — or generally show any emotion with my face — my upper eyelids kinda look like… a vagina? Imagine a midly confusing Georgia O’Keeffe painting… on my face.

A few years ago, I got a lower blepharoplasty to finally fix my genetic (thanks, Mom!), nothing-will-fix-these undereye bags, but in general I’m not interested in surgical fixes for everything, and I’m pretty OK with the aging process. After all, I let my hair go gray during the pandemic and haven’t looked back. But these upper eyelid creases — like vertical lines on a page — are something else entirely, especially for a person who spends her days looking at her reflection in Zoom meetings.

I assumed it’s something that happens with age, thanks to a loss of collagen and all kinds of other things that our bodies seemingly stop producing post-40. Eager to figure out what the f I can do about it, I turned to some experts to get recommendations.

“Foldier” eyelids as we age

Only the most scientific of questions here, people. I asked Dr. Jenna Queller, MD, FAAD, and founder of DermWorks™, why eyelid texture changes over the years. “As we age, even if your eyelids aren’t drooping or hooded, the skin naturally loses collagen and elastin, which are the fibers that keep it firm and springy. On very expressive faces, this means the skin can fold more noticeably when you smile, frown, or raise your eyebrows. Essentially, the skin is thinner and less resilient, so movement-related creases become more visible,” she told me. Since I happen to have an expressive face, I’m probably screwed.

I also got in touch with Dr. Gina Maccarone, a triple-board-certified cosmetic surgeon and founder of The Surgeonista, about my options, especially as someone who had been previously open to surgery. She agreed with Queller that, unfortunately, this is just part of the aging process. “Hooded eyelids often come from laxity of the brows, while younger patients (like a 43-year-old) often develop a bit of extra skin in the eyelid itself that causes these creases,” she said.

What To Do About It

Sure, I could get another surgery — this time an upper blepharoplasty — but since my eyelids aren’t hooded and the folds generally appear when my face is expressive, both experts agreed that I wasn’t a great candidate for it, at least not yet.

Instead, Queller recommended a variety of non-surgical fixes to help “improve skin quality, elasticity, and the appearance of dynamic folds,” including fractional CO₂ or erbium laser resurfacing, which help with skin rejuvenation, collagen production and tightening, and UltraClear Laser Coring, which is a “next-generation laser that removes microscopic columns of aged skin while stimulating collagen and elastin, smoothing deeper folds, tightening lax skin, and giving a refreshed appearance.”

You could also try an energy-based device, such as radio frequencing, radio frequencing microneedling, or ultrasound, such as Attiva RF. But Queller noted, since the eyes are a “high-risk” area, you really need to make sure you’re using a trusted, experienced professional who understands “ocular anatomy, uses proper eye protection, and routinely treats eyelid skin.”

Other treatment options include topical solutions, such as exosomes (Queller prefers those from the brand Plated), which deliver growth factors and signaling proteins that help repair and regenerate skin, supporting collagen production and overall skin health, or peptides, like Pavise Precision Eye Lift, which helps strengthen eyelid skin.

If, like me, you’re a woman of a certain age, you probably get served a ton of content about collagen powders, which are reported to help boost the production of collagen. So I asked Maccarone and Queller if, in the end, they do anything, and the answers were mixed, to say the least.

Maccarone believes that while results can vary widely, consistent use over eight to 12 weeks would be the way to see any potential benefit. She adds, “They aren’t harmful, but the benefits tend to be subtle — so often I’ll just tell patients to focus on increasing their overall protein intake. For those who do want to try collagen, I like Great Lakes Peptides, since they offer both individual packets for on-the-go use and a larger jar for home.”

As for Queller, she says she does not recommend collagen supplements, “because the evidence isn’t strong or consistent enough yet,” adding, “Studies showing benefits tend to be small or funded by supplement makers, and higher-quality research often shows little to no effect. When you ingest collagen, it gets broken down into amino acids in the gut — your body doesn’t send it directly to your face or eyelids.”

That said, if you do want to try one, Queller suggests you look for hydrolyzed collagen peptides because they offer better absorption and ones that present transparent labeling and third-party testing (such as NSF, USP).

Of course, as any doctor will tell you, daily sun protection is a must. But, they note, also consider the other gold standards of aging skincare: retinoids, antioxidants, and SPF. Additionally, try a retinol eye cream, says Maccarone, which can “thicken the skin and make creases less noticeable.” Her favorites are the high-end ZO Skin Health Intense Eye Crème and classic drugstore buy, Roc Retinol Correxion Eye Cream.

And with that, I’m off to the mall to shop.