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Moms Reveal The Passive-Aggressive Gifts They’ve Always Wanted To Give Their Partners

This is the only gift guide you’ll need this year.

Originally Published: 
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Hilarity Of The Holidays

There’s nothing like a gift that says: Could you actually get your clothes in the laundry basket instead of on the floor? Why don’t you listen to me the first time I tell you about our weekend plans? How about you go on a vacation — and you can bring the kids?!

When we asked our readers on Facebook what passive-aggressive gifts they’ve always wanted to give their partners, we received thousands of responses that conveyed messages like this, and many many more.

Read on for some of the most clever and funniest responses. And take note for your own passive-aggressive shopping list. You’re welcome.

When your partner is kind of a slob:

“A specially labeled laundry basket for the clothes that don’t make it to the basket but are ‘still clean enough to wear again so they can’t be put away.’” — Allison

“A maid! Win-win!” — Renee

“A lesson on how to correctly fold a towel.” — Alexandria

“A device that doesn't let him into the house until his shoes and hat are put away where they belong.” — Wanda

“A superpower to find all of his ‘lost’ crap.” — Susan

“A smart vacuum that goes around only collecting socks.” — Sharlyne

“A DIY book with easy-to-follow steps on how to close cupboard doors.” — Cornèl

“A laundry basket with a big hoop and rewards when he makes it in the hamper.” — Khriston

“A map/key of where we keep things in our house.” — Tara

“An instruction manual on how to replace toilet paper.” — Ashley

“An apron with suction cups that stick to the mirror so it catches hair when he trims his beard.” — Collette

“Some new glasses so he sees the items I’ve put on the stairs to be taken up.” — Debbie

When your partner has a hard time listening:

“A custom hearing aid that allows the sound of my voice to be heard.” — Keri

“A personal playback recorder that records every time we have a conversation and will play back that I did tell him that.” — Michelle

When your partner is always forgetting plans:

“Something that puts reminders on his calendar, via text, in email, and on our kitchen whiteboard calendar. Oh wait … that’s me.” — Tara

“A personal assistant that will remind him of everything we have to do every day and what time it begins and ends (at least 10 times a day so he doesn't forget).” — Rachel

When your partner struggles with keeping track of time:

“A toilet timer as a reminder to do his business and get a move on! It seems like whenever I need my husband for help with the kids, he magically has to use the toilet for long stretches of time.” — Rebecca

“A colorful light-up timer like my child uses to limit his play time on his phone and video games.” — Melanie

When your partner could learn a thing or two:

“Cooking classes. Nothing fancy, I’m just damn tired of doing all the planning, shopping, and cooking just because I do it better. Know why I do it better? Practice!” — Elizabeth

“A parenting class.” — Caylah

“Massage classes.” — Katy

“Driving lessons!!!!” — Natalie

“Marriage classes. Especially after numerous years.” — Lynn

When you just need some time to yourself:

“A weekend away for him and the kids.” — Lucie

“A weekend away for myself and his mother so he can spend the whole weekend with our kids and have no help.” — Marie

When it’s payback time for a gift they got you:

“At Christmas, my husband (of 14 years) bought me slippers from the children’s section. They were obviously way too small for me. His birthday was a week later, and I bought/wrapped many, many clothing and shoe items for him that were sized for our 12-year-old son.” — Summer

“Well, he got me a fishing rod … so he's getting a gift certificate to get his nails done.” — Jess

“My husband gave me a gift card to a local play gym where I bring our toddler. I thought a nice … present [for him] would be a gift card (of higher value) to the trampoline park where our oldest loves to hang out.” — Courtney

“I got a vacuum for my birthday, so he’s getting a lawnmower.” — Tanya

“I’ll be giving him a hard time. Same thing I got for Mother’s Day.” — Allison

Responses have been lightly edited for clarity.

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