Oldies but goodies

18 Unsexy Beauty Products That Look Boring But Deliver On Their Promises

They don’t have to be pretty. They just have to work.

by Katie McPherson
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Listen, I love a fun beauty product as much as the next gal. Cute packaging has suckered me in more than once, and a deliciously scented body wash or a brightly colored facial cleanser is just... it’s free dopamine, man. But all that glitters isn’t gold, and sometimes those beautifully packaged pretty items just don’t deliver on their promises. That’s when you need an OG.

These are Scary Mommy editors’ favorite unsexy beauty products — from lotions and toothpastes to lipstick and toner — that give you results. You won’t find them perfectly backlit on a Sephora shelf or ready to test at an Ulta counter, but many of them have been around for years, and it’s because they deliver. And frankly, I don’t care if it comes in the ugliest bottle ever. If it works, it’s coming home with me.

01A Shampoo That Reduced My Hair Thinning

“When I noticed my hair was thinning, I took to TikTok to find out what I could do, and a bunch of dermatologists recommended using Nizoral. I instantly noticed way less shedding. When I actually went to my own dermatologist to get answers, she prescribed me a prescription ketoconazole shampoo (a stronger version of what Nizoral is), and said it basically just makes your scalp super happy and healthy. It feels like I’m stealing my dad’s Selsun Blue from back in the day, but who cares?” — Katie McPherson, Associate Editor, Lifestyle & Entertainment

02A Simple, Soothing Body Wash That Delivers On Its Promise

“A couple of years ago, I had horrible, itchy skin for no reason at all. I could not deal with the itchiness, especially after my skin would dry out after a shower. This Eucerin cream helped so much with calming down my skin and relieving some of that itch. I still use it today!” — Katie Garrity, Social & News Editor

03An Affordable Body Oil That Smells Incredible

“If you also have dry skin, you have to try this trick I learned from TikTok: Keep body oil in your shower and, when you turn the water off, slather it all over yourself before you even dry off. It sounds like it won’t work, but I swear it locks in so much hydration and my skin is so happy and soft when I do it.” — Katie McPherson

04An OG Toner That Still Slaps

“I realize even Thayers offers fancier versions now like milky toners and jelly toners, but I always default to the OG. I've used far more expensive toners that don't feel as good or do as much for my complexion as this one does.” — Julie Sprankles, Deputy Editor, Lifestyle & Entertainment

05A Fragrance-Free Face Wash Derms Have Recommended For Years

“You can keep your $50 fancy-bottled cleanser and your supermodel marketing, I'll be over here clutching my bottle of Cetaphil, which I swear is the only cleanser that makes my face feel moist and soft instead of dry and red afterward.” — Sarah Aswell, Deputy Editor, News & Social

06A Moisturizing Spray

“I have very dry skin, particularly my back. This stuff is genius: You spray it anywhere you need moisture, so for me, I just reach around my shoulders and spray my back. It's cheap, it lasts forever, and I can't believe I haven't been using it my whole life.” — Kate Auletta, Editor in Chief

07Beard Dye For An At-Home Eyebrow Tint

“I use this to dye my eyebrows for an instant boost and easy upkeep. Quick, simple, affordable... what's not to love?” — Julie Sprankles

08A Classic Drugstore Lipstick That Isn’t Going Anywhere

“I have been wearing this lipstick forever — and even when I find some new fancy fad, it isn't long until I'm back in the arms of this drugstore classic. I love many of the 22 available colors, and it truly, truly, truly does last all day, even if you eat a hamburger. Ask me know I know.” — Sarah Aswell

09A Whitening Toothpaste That Really Works

“I had braces as an adult and they’ve been off for less than a year, so I’m still in the throes of really loving and wanting to show off my smile — which means I want it to be sparkly white. As someone who drinks coffee and dark soda, that takes work. I’ve tried all the major brands’ whitening toothpastes, and Arm & Hammer’s just does the best job. I don’t need to supplement with whitening strips or mouthwashes. This stuff twice a day does the trick.” — Katie McPherson

10A Product That’s Been Used To Prevent Ingrowns Forever For A Reason

“After I shave my armpits, I apply Tend Skin with a cotton pad to help with razor burn and ingrown hairs. I've used this product for years, and it actually works. A small bottle will last you forever!” — Katie Garrity

11An Acne-Fighting Face & Body Spray

“I wax poetic about how much I love this product any chance I get. It single-handedly helps me keep body acne at bay with a few spritzes before and after a workout. I keep one in my bathroom and one in my gym bag, and they last forever.” — Katie McPherson

12A Multipurpose Product That Does It All & Does It Well

“Castor oil is a workhorse when it comes to beauty. I put it on the ends of my hair, on my eyelashes (best thing I've used for growth, and it doesn't cause undereye hollowing like a lot of popular serums out there), on rough patches of skin, and in my belly button. I like all the essentials from this brand!” — Julie Sprankles

13A Polish Top Coat That’s As Hard As, Well, Nails

“I’ve been using this brand of top coat exclusively for nearly a decade. It applies nice and thick so it fills in any little imperfections on the surface of your nails, giving you a gel look with regular polish. And no matter how thick you layer it up, it dries insanely fast. I can tell a difference in how my nails look and how long they last when I use other top coats, which is rare anymore.” — Katie McPherson

14Wrinkle Prevention Patches, Because Botox Isn’t In The Budget Right Now

“Listen, I am not above getting Botox someday, but as a working mom with kids in expensive extracurriculars, I just can't justify the cost right now. So, I slap these suckers on my face every night, and while I look mildly ridiculous, I don't care — I swear they make a big difference in keeping deep lines at bay.” — Julie Sprankles

15An Effective But Lightweight Lotion

“I have a bottle of this lotion by every sink in our house, plus a travel size in my purse. Aveeno lotion keeps my skin feeling moisturized and soft without that greasy feeling.” — Katie Garrity

16The Solution To KP & Under-The-Skin Bumps

“As a kid, I had awful keratosis pilaris, aka chicken skin. When I discovered Gold Bond Rough & Bumpy, my arms were soft and smooth almost immediately!” — Katie Garrity

17An Unscented Serum That Really Smooths & Lifts

“Yes, the bottle is pretty plain and straightforward, and it's not developed by a celebrity, but Murad comes through with a real workhorse of an overnight serum here. I wouldn't have it any other way.” — Sarah Aswell

18Straight Up Aquaphor

“I’m fairly confident enough that Aquaphor will fix anything. I put it on dry patches of skin, on my lips, and in a thin layer on my face at the end of my nighttime skincare routine, if my skin is super dry. I’ve used it to soothe my baby’s diaper rash and to keep my new tattoos hydrated while they heal. I’ve even seen people online use it in place of mascara. Every house should have a tube.” — Katie McPherson

Looks like there’s something to be said for simple, straightforward products.

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