When Schools Try to Erase Diversity, Parents Have To Make It Part Of The Curriculum

We teach our kids all kinds of things. How to tie their shoes. How to ride a bike. How to say “please” and “thank you.” How to swim. Parenting is an endless loop of lessons — many practical, some even silly. But then there are the big things, the ones that literally shape our kids’ humanity. We teach them to treat people with dignity and respect. We teach them that every person’s story matters. And when we send our kids to school, we hope those lessons will be reinforced in the classroom.

Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Teachers do so much, of course. We love and appreciate them for it. However, in today’s climate, many of them are also working within rapidly narrowing boundaries: censored reading lists, sanitized curricula, and policies that seek to strip schools of the diversity that reflects the world our kids live in.

So, if our schools are no longer able — or allowed — to teach the full story, then we, as parents, must. To help guide us in becoming the co-educators our kids deserve, Scary Mommy reached out to experts for their actionable advice and insight.

The Curriculum Is Shrinking, & Kids Feel It

In more ways than one, kids are losing access to diversity and inclusion in the classroom. This systemic erasure is happening through anti-DEI policy, with a stark example being the more than 10,000 book bans in public schools — which target books by authors of color, by LGBTQ+ authors, and by women, as well as books that critically center race, gender identity, and immigration through history.

This means that, even when they want to teach inclusively, educators are often restricted by district policy or new legislation. And that leaves a massive gap — one that’s shaping how our kids see the world and each other.

Pen America’s list of 2025 banned books alone includes coming-of-age cult favorites like The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky and The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, along with classics like The Color Purple by Alice Walker.

“We’re seeing a systematic attempt to restrict access to history, identity, and difference,” confirms Elika Dadsetan, executive director of Visions, Inc., a company focused on strengthening cross-cultural connections and increasing inclusivity. “These efforts don’t just limit what’s taught; they distort young people’s understanding of the world and who belongs in it. The erasure of diverse narratives breeds fear and division instead of empathy and truth.”

The reality, says Dadsetan, is that representation shouldn’t be seen as a “bonus” because it’s foundational. “When children don’t see their families, cultures, or identities reflected, or when they’re told those aspects are controversial or inappropriate, the harm is profound,” she says.

“Children learn not only from what we say, but from what we avoid. When race, queerness, disability, or difference are censored, it teaches shame. We see the emotional toll in higher rates of anxiety, internalized bias, and even disconnection from school. And when diversity is embraced, we see more resilient, connected, and critically engaged youth.”

Maaria Mozaffar, legislative attorney, mother, and expert on policy and cultural dehumanization, agrees that children benefit most from a classroom education when it includes an accurate global history and reflection of the world’s diversity.

“The curricula that are specifically designed to open dialogue on critical points in global history teach humility and an appreciation of nuances. In a world where revisionist histories are so easily available, a focus on factual global history is critical,” Mozaffar tells Scary Mommy. “You would be surprised how little the average child in our nation knows about the world, geography, and its history. This is such a disservice to the coming generation.”

Among the many benefits that come from a child receiving an education that embraces diversity (both in curricula and environment) is a sense of assurance.

“Raising a child to find the world beautiful and its diversity valuable is a treasured responsibility. To take on the task is so worthwhile for each child's self-esteem. A child who knows that the world and its people are there for them to discover and learn from gives a place to the child in their world,” says Mozaffar, adding that, in a subtle way, this also “addresses racism, colonialism, and allyship in elementary steps that allow children to be awake to the beauty of people as well as the harm that some people cause due to ignorance.”

And kids are smart, you know? They recognize when something’s missing. When schools go silent, the messaging that “different is dangerous” or shameful gets louder.

Raising Inclusive Kids Starts at Home

The good news is we, as parents, can fill in the gaps. These conversations can happen in the car, at the dinner table, during a Costco run.

Dadsetan says it can be as simple as curating liberatory learning (“choose books, shows, and stories that center diverse voices across race, gender, ability, language, and more”), talking to your kids about censorship and other tough subjects (“kids can handle hard topics when we speak with honesty and care”), and modeling what it means to belong.

Mozaffar emphasizes the critical importance of the modeling part, noting that discrimination and bigotry are not inherent to human nature — these behaviors are learned models that are nurtured. “So many of us don’t appreciate how much attention children pay to conversations around them and how many social actions they perceive as permissible because their loved ones practice them,” she shares.

So, yeah, a parent’s actual role modeling is super valuable. “Developing relationships with families that are different from your own, trying new cuisines, watching foreign family shows on Netflix, reading global authors, and, when possible, traveling internationally — or, if not possible, visiting diverse communities around you — is impactful,” Mozaffar reminds us. “You are the best example for your child.”

Dadsetan also recommends protecting teachers while pressing systems: “Join school board meetings, advocate for inclusive curricula, and form alliances with other families, without scapegoating educators who may be constrained.”

Alethea Dunham-Carson, assistant head for teaching and learning at the progressive, independent Gordon School in East Providence, Rhode Island, reinforces the idea that parents can support inclusive learning inside and outside of the classroom by getting involved and speaking up.

“As an education professional, I can tell you that parents' voices are extremely powerful in a school. Be yourself and speak from what you know. School board meetings, back to school nights, town meetings — these are places to be present and be visible,” she says. “If you tell the story of your family, and your child, and explain what you want for your child in an honest and clear way, you are performing an incredible service to the teachers in your child's life.”

At home, she says, your child needs reassurance.

“It is crucial that your child knows that they are safe. They need to hear that you have their back. They need to know that you will always advocate for a world where no one will be able to stop them from loving who they love, from admiring whom they admire, and from dreaming of ways they want to help make the world better. They should have the opportunities to witness that you want these experiences not only for them, but for everyone.”

And when it comes to bearing witness, it’s also important for parents to remember that kids today are all-too-often seeing and hearing heartbreaking violations of inclusion.

Elaborates Dunham-Carson, “Families are facing real risks related to identity: the deportation of a loved one, a threat to health care for someone who needs it, an undermining of a marriage or loving relationship, a loss of a job due to legal status. Between their family, their friends and their schoolmates, your child is going to know someone who is touched by these threats.”

So, more than ever, kids need us to (a) acknowledge the tensions that may be present at school, church, or the playground, and (b) see us standing up for what we believe in — “even with something as simple as a sign in your window or a sticker on your car.”

Inclusion Is Multilingual

Another way to help reinforce diversity in your home is through language — an often-overlooked aspect of raising globally minded, inclusive kids. Doing so expands the conversation beyond even race and gender and into cultural literacy.

Esteban Touma, a language teacher and cultural expert at Babbel, explains why language is such a powerful tool for fostering empathy and cultural understanding in children.

“By design, language learning puts you in someone else’s shoes — whether it’s someone who speaks the language fluently or someone just beginning to learn yours. It fosters humility, curiosity, and connection,” Touma tells us. “Language has always been one of humanity’s oldest and most powerful connectors. The effort of learning and speaking another language, even imperfectly, is a sign of respect, and it deepens mutual understanding in a way few other things can.”

Touma points out that we’re also living in a new era, where global pop culture shapes how kids engage with the world. “From Bad Bunny’s rise to the global popularity of K-pop and Manga, foreign-language entertainment is driving interest and motivation,” he says. “Kids aren't just learning language for a grade; they’re learning it to connect with the stories, music, and culture they love. And that emotional connection is often what sparks real empathy and cultural appreciation.”

Accordingly, language education — or rather, the lack of it — contributes to the broader issue of cultural erasure in U.S. schools.

“While English is, of course, the most widely spoken language in the U.S., nearly 68 million people speak a language other than English in their homes. If language is not part of the curriculum in schools, it’s almost a guarantee that the only way a child will learn a new language is if it’s already spoken at home or if they go to a private school,” Touma says.

When we don’t prioritize language learning, he underscores, “We miss a huge opportunity to help kids grow up more open-minded, empathetic, and globally aware.”

The Lessons Live With Us

The importance of teaching our children about diversity — and providing them with an environment that emphasizes it — can get lost in broader arguments about “buzzwords” and “agendas” and the murky waters of political redirection. That’s why the onus is on parents to hold the throughline. After all, there’s a lot to lose here.

“When we erase difference, we don’t create safety, we create silence,” laments Dadsetan. “Silence that harms LGBTQ+ kids, BIPOC students, children with disabilities, and any child learning to make sense of their identity. What’s truly at stake is belonging, and that’s what children need most to thrive.”

This is why, emphasizes Mozaffar, the role of the parent is so vital.

“Perhaps the biggest value we can teach our children to help them appreciate diversity is empathy. We are all the same in many ways, but we are also undeniably different. The beauty lies in our ability to connect by placing ourselves in others' shoes and appreciating our shared values. Understanding how one feels creates human connection and expands our humanity,” she says. “If we teach this early to our children, they will always analyze conflict and diversity from a human perspective, freeing them from being susceptible to false narratives that divide us.”

Ultimately, our kids may not remember every fact or formula they learn in third grade. What they will remember are the values we taught them around the dinner table, in the car, and through the behaviors we reflect for them. Diversity isn’t a trend, and it shouldn’t even be an “option” in classrooms; it should be the standard.