Why You Need To Make A Summer Bucket List For Yourself
It's your summer, too, and you don't want to feel like you missed it once September comes.
I've always romanticized summer. My theory is that my own childhood summers were so wonderful, full of everything summer's supposed to be — rest, play, ice cream — and I long deeply for that same season every May. But as a mom, it's not quite as simple as just believing summer will be great and lovely — you really have to put in the work. Which is why I'm a huge believer in moms making their own summer bucket lists.
Not the ones that include all the fun crafts you'll do with your kids or all the adventures you'll make sure they have, but the summer you want to experience, too. Yes, even if you work full-time, and yes, even if you have a long commute or have a million childcare logistics in place so you can do your job. This is still your summer as much as it is your kids'... and you deserve to enjoy it, too.
Summer is meant to be slow, easy, restful. It's meant to be a season of lounging in the sun, eating ice cream cones, catching fireflies at dusk. There are a million adorable memes floating through Instagram right now, thousands and thousands of TikToks with inspiring summer images, all meant to make you grab this season with both hands and bite into it like a juicy peach. And I'm all for this reminder.
I can't tell you how many times May comes and I'm so focused on my kids having a magical summer that, by the time September rolls around, I realize not once did I read a book in my hammock or stargaze on the trampoline or make strawberry ice cream. All of the things I wanted to do in the summer — early morning walks alone, having friends over for appetizers and drinks under our twinkling lights in the backyard, re-reading one of my childhood favorites on a blanket in the yard — slipped right through my fingers.
It doesn't mean I regret my summers or feel like I didn't measure up to some weird pressure I've put on myself; I just always think, Huh. I should've made a summer bucket list for myself.
And the experts agree.
"I see how easy it is for moms to disappear into the background of summer as they manage logistics and make it a fun and memorable season for their kids," Dr. Hannah Holmes, clinical health psychologist, tells Scary Mommy. "But it's so important that moms make space for their own joy, too. When you carve out time to do the things that you love, you're reinforcing your identity as a whole person — and not just a mom. This investment in yourself is crucial for your emotional well-being, and it models to your kids what a healthy, whole adult life looks like."
You don't have to go crazy. While your dream may be for a solo beach weekend or an entire day of doing nothing but napping in a hammock, you should make your summer bucket list realistic and fill it with things you can (and really want to) do this summer.
Think about the things you did as a kid that made you happy in the summer, or the images that have inspired you the most on your social media feeds. Is it cooking a new summer recipe? Working on a hobby in the sunshine? Seeing how far you can swim without coming up for air? Once you tap into what it is about summer that you want to romanticize, making your bucket list can be easy.
If you're still struggling with your list and want to come up with one that includes your kids so you aren't panicking about the summer they're having, too, you definitely can. Stephanie O'Dea, author and podcast host of Slow Living, tells Scary Mommy that even though her kids are now older, they still all write down their summer bucket lists and compare notes.
"The overlaps in our lists mean that we definitely take the time to schedule them into the family calendar," she says. "When the kids were younger, I worried their list would be extravagant, like a trip to Disney World, but they were really fun and easy-to-do things like making popsicles, filling up the wading pool and eating lunch in it, going on an early morning walk and having ice cream for breakfast, camping in the living room, or having a pajama day and movie marathon."
She suggests making bucket lists — for yourself and one for your family, if you like — for your vacations, too. Build a sandcastle, go for a moonlit beach walk, ride a specific roller coaster: It doesn't have to be extreme.
"Kids are simple because they really just want to spend time with their grownups and feel as if they have undivided attention and unconditional love," O'Dea says. So, take that inspiration with you as you make your own summer bucket list. It isn't about creating some insane summer or checking off a list that you think would make your social media followers proud; it's about doing what means most to you and soaking that out of summer whenever you can.
And listen, you're a mom. You already know if you don't write it down, it's bound not to happen. So sit down with a pen and a notepad — have your kids write their own versions, too — and romanticize the hell out of your own summer. This season is yours to enjoy, too, you know.
