It’s Not Your Imagination — People Are Hornier During The Holidays

It's the holidays! 'Tis the season for mistletoe and sloppy kisses after drinking far too much eggnog, so is it any surprise that it's also the season of sex? If you're feeling a little horny amidst the hustle and bustle of December, know that you're not alone.

In fact, one study published back in 2017 shows that our collective sex drive typically ramps up around religious and cultural celebrations. Not surprisingly, it also claims that we tend to have higher birth rates in September, which, if you know your conception math, means we're making babies in early wintertime.

So, what is it about this season that makes us all act like teenagers on spring break, and how can we make the most of this sexy time? We talked to a sexologist to explain how you can get on the naughty list.

What makes us hornier during this time of year?

Feeling extra frisky? Besides us having more celebrations and time off from work than usual, sexologist Marla Renee Stewart, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer, says people's horniness can come from a variety of factors.

"During the holidays, there's a lot of holiday stress and anxiety, which can be resolved through sexual relief," she tells Scary Mommy. "Also, there are a lot of themes during the holidays which can play into people's fantasies. Just as people dress up sexy for Halloween, during the holiday season, people might have fantasies that involve holiday characters, such as Santa, and they may seize this time when the energy is rampant with Christmas energy to play into that fantasy."

There are also many more opportunities for quickies, Stewart says, and "getting it in whenever you can during the holidays, mostly because there might be family around or your time is particularly limited because of the business of the season."

And let's not forget that, because of the holidays, we might be spending more time with our loved ones (including exes or hometown crushes). Since proximity breeds intimacy, Stewart says, "Those happy hormones are flowing a lot more, and you may feel more emotionally connected to your lovers."

How can you make the most of this horny season?

If you need some creative ideas to help you either get in the mood or make the holidays feel more pleasurable and sexy, Stewart suggests introducing new things into your sexual routine — think dressing up, doing trysts, and gifting your lover new sexy accouterments that will escalate the passion in your bedroom and beyond.

"Also, with all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it becomes even more important to have quality time with your lover(s)," she says. "Really being intentional about how you want to spend your time with someone can be one of the sexiest things you can do, and it only adds to it when you incorporate romance into the experience."

Fun, sexy gifts can be great to give and to receive, so Stewart recommends being thoughtful with your gift-giving. "If they mentioned getting a massage or wanting a new toy, do your best to make it happen for them."

If you're single this time of year, Stewart says sometimes there's nothing more special than you romancing yourself and doing a deep dive into your mind with your favorite fantasies. "Incorporating new toys, new erotica, and new sex playlists are all fun things you can do to love yourself and discover more of your wants, needs, and desires," she explains.

What if you're hornier than your partner?

Just because most people want to get a quickie on before your family carves the turkey doesn't mean your partner will. It's normal for couples to have different sex drives and fantasies.

If you are feeling hornier than usual, Stewart recommends mentioning this when you and your lover are in a good place mentally — and do it outside of the bedroom.

"If your lover is feeling particularly stressed during the holidays and you want more sex from them, you can anticipate their needs and/or ask them if there are things that you can help them with so that there is less stress," she says. "Whether that's cooking, cleaning, finding a babysitter for the kids, etc., relieving them of particular stresses can go a long way. Stressors tend to put the brakes on sexual interactions, so do these things first if you want to have a better result with your answer when asking for more sex."

What about casual sex during the holidays?

If you're not coupled up, engaging in some yuletide casual sex might be exactly what you need from Santa this year. But Stewart cautions against using the holiday horniness as a way to escape from how you're feeling in a season that can feel particularly lonely.

"Someone's engaging during a tryst during this time where they are particularly feeling low, it's best to be transparent with their lover with what they are going through so that person can make the space to do whatever feels necessary for the time," she says.

"For instance, maybe instead of committing to sex, you commit to cuddling instead and/or talking through what your body feels like. Maybe you can engage in intimate exercises like body mapping and helping the person be present in their body if they are struggling to do so. I think it's always OK to call it off, too, especially if you feel like you can't maximize your time and may regret moving forward with something that isn't congruent with what you need at the time."