Before the days of online everything, Martha Stewart was my girl. I’d watch her show; it aired around 10am where I lived and was my favorite part of the morning.
When her Christmas special came on, I made a night out of it. I took notes. I took my phone off the hook. I didn’t let anyone talk to me.
I had her magazine subscription and because that wasn’t enough, I made scrapbooks with all the recipes and projects I wanted to get to before I died.
There was one Easter where I spent days gluing tiny pearls to blown-out eggs. I’ve made her clothes pin dolls for Christmas for so many years you can find felt scraps in the corners of my house on any given day.
I’ve glittered dried out flowers. I’ve thrown myself on the floor because my cakes will never look like hers. I’ve trespassed in a neighboring yard hoping to find a certain berry, twig, or pine cone to decorate with because I want to be her.
And now, during this quarantine, she is keeping all my senses alive with stimulation they’ve been deprived of. Her Instagram is straight fire and I can’t get enough. This woman knows how to stay at home and be productive, get shit done, and inspire millions of other people.
And yes, she might have an entire staff, but let’s not get into the logistics here.
Even if you don’t think you are creative, you can find some sticks and poke them into apples before dipping them in caramel and rolling them in nuts.
How damn cute is that? And believe me, the kids will be impressed.
I’ve made this chili a few times and let me tell you, it’s dyno.
If you are looking to revamp your pantry now that winter is coming and you tend to stock up on dry goods more (or you are like me and just plain eat more when it’s colder) this Instagram post will have you wanting all the clear decorative containers.
I broke out the label maker for this one.
Her homeschool courses involve things like sangria, the perfect spiced cider, and how to decoupage shit. I’m telling you, she’s the QUEEN.
She is doing virtual cooking classes…
Not to mention bursting with ideas on how to celebrate the holidays this year since 2020 calls for different rules.
I almost can’t handle all the stimulation — I want to do all the things. This weekend, I’m carving time out to make these stuffed pasta shells. My kids have been asking for these since they had them at my mother’s house and I keep telling them, “Grammy doesn’t have three kids living at home so, she has a lot more time to stuff pasta than I do.” Not now though. Now I can make them because Martha has shown me her “fuss-free” method.
If cooking isn’t your jam, there are plenty of home decor projects to tackle. Even if you haven’t felt motivated or inspired (which is totally fine and normal, especially right now) perhaps just looking through her how-to’s might spark something inside you. Or just bring your eyeballs pleasure.
And if not, if you’re still stressed, well…
Martha has the CBD game covered too. She has her own line of CBD products (because of course she does) to help you unwind and relax. Honestly, I will do whatever Martha tells me.
So, hats off to you Martha Stewart, you truly are who I want to be when I grow up. I want to be able to sew, bake, and flower-arrange my way through life. You aren’t just quarantine goals, you are life goals, and there’s something on your page for everyone.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go make this apple cider bundt cake.
This article was originally published on