Everyone has either seen or heard about the epic scene in When Harry Met Sally where Sally shows Harry just how it’s done, and by that I mean, how you can trick a man into thinking he’s giving you an actual orgasm when, in reality, you are having a snoregasm.
Translation: Please, let’s get the bump and grind over before my vag catches on fire.
We’ve all done it at one time or another for various reasons. After all, women wrote the book on faking orgasms and we do it with finesse. There are times when we’re just not that into it, too tired, really fucking hungry, or with someone who has no idea what the hell they are doing, so instead of teaching a lesson, we decide to moan, bite our lip, quiver, and say, “Oh yeah, baby right there,” so we can get on with our damn day or get some sleep.
And if you’ve ever gotten a charlie horse while having sex with someone for the first time, you need to get out of that position stat — faking is better for everyone. Trust.
Well, apparently men also play the game of making us think we are jetting their juice when, in fact, sexy time has lost its luster and they need an escape. I know you might be thinking, no fucking way, but contrary to popular belief, men don’t aways feel like hanging around until the achieve the big O. I’m sure they haven’t mastered it like women have, but they are capable of making you think you’ve taken them to pleasure town when, in actuality, that face and those sexy grunts are just their way of slipping out, so they can slip under the covers and get some shut eye — or a burger, whatever.
A recent study done by by Léa J. Séguin, a student studying to become a sexologist, and Robin R. Milhausen, an associate professor in the Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition at the University of Guelph, in which they surveyed 230 men ages 18-29 found that, on average, the participants pulled a Sally during sexy time in approximately 25% of sexual encounters in their current sexual relationship.
I asked a handful of my male friends if they’ve ever faked an orgasm and why. I bet you already know their answers because they are the exact same excuses we have:
“A few times over the years, but I specifically remember once humping was taking too long and I was done. Also, my elbow hurt.” — Joe, 35.
“Only once, and it was just last year. I was so tired, I’d been sick the night before.” — Tom 41.
“I did once in college with a girl I didn’t even know. I was bored and starting to lose my erection so…” — Damien, 38.
The five other men I talked to said they were intoxicated at the time of their faking incident, or knew they weren’t going to climax and didn’t want their partner to be upset about it.
Those surveyed said the biggest reason they faked an orgasm was to spare the partner’s feelings. “Feigning orgasm to support a partner’s emotional well-being was associated with higher levels of desire,” wrote Séguin and Milhausen.
So, we’re all on the same page, I suppose. They fake it, we fake it, and as long as everyone is good with knowing that’s the way it is, and your sex and love life isn’t suffering because of it, is it really harming anyone? How can we take it personally when we do it on the regular?
But let’s remember: there’s no shame in either sex saying,”That was great honey, now let’s go dig into some leftovers and get to sleep,” without climaxing — you can try again next time.