From The Confessional: My Husband Has Major Mood Swings

by Team Scary Mommy
Robert Recker/Getty

Women get teased relentlessly for our mood swings, and TBH (at least for me), that’s probably fair. There are definitely times of the month where I can flip the switch between June Cleaver and Miss Hannigan at the sight of a single dirty sock on the floor. However, much of what we women go through is hormonal and often out of our control. (And also, pick up your damn dirty socks, fam. How about that?)

But what about the men in our lives? What about when they hop back and forth between Jekyll and Hyde and we never know who is going to walk through the door? Are their irrational mood swings their fault? Do they get to pull the “hormonal” card too? Or are they just selfish a-holes some days and we need to stay the hell away from them so they can sulk or rage in a room by themselves?

Whatever the reason, lots of male/female couples struggle to cope with mood swings, and it’s definitely not always Mom who’s on a rampage. Dads and husbands have mood swings too—and sometimes theirs are even worse.

It's getting harder and harder for me to deal with SO and his mood swings / bipolar behavior. He's a financially, mentally abusive baby man and I deserve better. I can't do this forever.

Confessional #22781325

My husband needs meds for his mood swings. No the fam does not want to eat dinner at 10 so why are you a crab a**?! I go hide and watch trash tv when the mood goes south. Peace out b*****!

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I wish H never quit smoking. The mood swings from nicotine withdrawal, despite being on gum and the patch, aren’t worth him getting healthy.

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When your SO’s mood swings get so bad, it can make you start questioning if the relationship is even worth it. That’s a crappy feeling, but one you should pay attention to. No one deserves to be a stuck in a relationship where they feel unstable or unsafe, waiting anxiously for which partner—the nice one or the mean one—is going to walk in the room.

Finally told H that I love him but I just can't deal with his mood swings anymore. He promised he would try harder if I stay. I'm hoping things change this time.

Confessional #24693076

SO is unstable & his mood swings give me stress & anxiety. Saving to get out because I can't live like this. He got mad this morning because the can cover didn't fit on the open can of cat food so he threw it across the room & started screaming.

Confessional #24050550

I am tired of H’s mood swings. His crazy expectations. His double standards. I’m so over it.

Confessional #25830260

I think H is a narcissist. I cannot take his mood swings and demands on me. He is the reason I am so stressed and on meds. I love him but I need to love myself more and leave him.

Confessional #21453053

Their mood swings make us feel … well, over it. Over them. Over this marriage. It’s too much, and many women are at the point of calling it quits.

So fucking tired of being DH’s emotional punching bag. He’s got Jekyll and Hyde mood swings. Getting worse the older he gets (44). So sick of if.

Confessional #18750762

DH can be very sweet and attentive or a moody manipulative bitch. You never know what you get. He manages to make me feel so sad and angry for no reason. Hate to be at the mercy of his childish mood swings. It‘s making me lose respect and love for him.

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I'm afraid of my husband's mood swings. I never know who he's going to be: my sweet supportive partner or an angry asshole who blames me for everything. I wish I would have married a more stable man.

Confessional #7051099

It can feel like you have two husbands. And not knowing which one is going to show up at any given time is freaking terrifying.

I don’t like let alone love him. I don’t care about him at all. He’s done this to himself with his antics and mood swings. The real man he hides inside is a fucking goblin

Confessional #24398045

DH has horrible mood swings lately. Cranky as fuck some days. Blames it on me and my “lack of attention. Seriously? This is just our busy life. Not sure where I’m supposed to get the extra time and energy from.”

Confessional #22875727

DH has such tantrums & mood swings, I really question his mental health. He won't see a counselor, believes his happiness lies solely on ME. Often, I wish I never married him. I ADORE 2DC so I stay. THEY are my life. IRL we seem happy. People are dumb.

Confessional #13093665

Extreme mood swings can change everything. We often struggle to even feel love or tenderness for our partners anymore after years of these emotional roller coasters.

So sick of my husbands mood swings. Kids and I walk on eggshells half the time.

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I love it when my husband goes out of town on his monthly business trip. Two and a half days without his mood swings and nit-picking is AWESOME.

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The kids and I are going out of town for the holiday without DH because he has to work. I'm looking forward to having a break from him. His mood swings are killing me.

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When you crave a break from your SO because of their unpredictable emotions and rash behaviors, it’s time to re-evaluate things. They need to get help, and you need to feel secure.

Mood swings are common—we all experience them. We get overworked, overtired, and our hormones are often out of whack. But when it’s a constant fear of your family and they don’t know if or when someone in the home is going to flip the switch and become a different person, that’s when professional help is needed. It’s okay to say “I can’t keep doing this” and “I need to talk to someone.”

Do it for you, for your marriage, for your partner, for your kids. There’s a reason Jekyll and Hyde is a timeless thriller—it’s exciting to read, but it shouldn’t be real life.

If you feel you like you are in an abusive situation, please prioritize your safety. Go here for resources.