From The Confessional: My Neighbors Are The F*cking WORST

by Cassandra Stone
Shannon Fagan/Getty

These neighbor confessions will have you thanking your lucky stars if you have good ones

We can’t pick our family, to be sure. But we also can’t pick our neighbors. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly…legal…to do a deep-dive on the neighbor situation prior to moving. You also can’t know what the heck you’re getting into when a new family moves in right next door. What can you do? Vent it all — all the tea, dirt, and curse worse you can muster — in Scary Mommy’s Confessional.

Maybe your neighbors are loud as hell. Just never-ending, non-stop loud chaos emanating from their home and yard. Maybe they’re nosy. Maybe they’re Trump supporters. Maybe they’re having enormous gatherings inside and outside their home while your kids look at their kids with their noses pressed up against the glass, wondering why you’re such a MEAN MOMMY and won’t let them wrestle each other with mouths and noses one inch apart like the other moms.

No matter the issue, these neighbors sound like a real headache.

My neighbors don't socially distance, never did, and I think they're complete assholes for being so careless.

Confessional #25793862

my asshole neighbors refuse to obey lockdown. they have parties every weekend. not loud or anything just too many people for now. conservative area where folks believe masks are political. trying to be cautious.

Confessional #25793325

Just had a ROUGH week w/online school for DC 5 & 7. I don't blame teachers or kids. I blame the selfish people still having parties, not wearing masks, etc. Part of me hates them for ruining this year Unfortunately these are neighbors, school parents, etc

Confessional #25792000

There is something just so beyond frustrating about neighbors who don’t give a flying f*ck about the pandemic while you and your family are trying to be responsible and safe. Especially if your kids have to look out the window and see other kids playing closely and touching freely.

It gives me GREAT pleasure to watch the revolving door of nannies at my neighbors house. They act perfect, but their kids are animals. I’ve used Covid as an excuse to keep them away all summer. Plus, a nanny for a mom w a PT job? Puhlease...

Confessional #25791060

Sometimes, it’s the little things that add up and make living around other people exhausting.

I hate my neighbors. They have to loudly “narrate everything their baby does when they’re outside! Not fair we have to shut our windows because you can’t shut up!”

Confessional #22294186

I hate my neighbors screaming kids.

Confessional #1726713

I hate my neighbors. A group of catty 30 something women. We are not in high school. That is why I keep quiet, I wouldn't want to be part of it all even if I did fit in, which I don't.

Confessional #1463396

Also, when other people use their living space to toss trash around and live like slobs, it totally has an effect on everyone around them in the neighborhood. These neighbors just can’t see past the end of their own nose and it would be frustrating AF to have to live near them.

I hate my neighbors constant smoking especially around my kids & theirs. They toss the butts everywhere like 2 hillbillies!!!! No damn manners-classless!!!! It looks like an outside of a bar!

Confessional #1461213

I hate my neighbors. They are filthy hoarders with rats. I cringe every time my kids play with theirs. They're also old family friends. I just want to move!

Confessional #1576077

I hate my neighbors. Everytime I walk outside the pile of garbage is a reminder what lazy fucks they are. He makes his mother work and he sits home all day.

Confessional #1449267

Neighborhoods full of sanctimonious people are the worst. The passive-aggressiveness is off the charts in some of these neighborhoods.

My neighbors put up a sign that says "Drive like your kids live here." My kids DO live here and that's still so sanctimonious that I want to run over that sign and plow into their house every time I drive past it.

Confessional #24435084

Ugh, I really despise my neighbors. I can ignore them all winter but now they are all out in my cul de sac. What a bunch of fake-ass douchebags.

Confessional #23072676

When we get takeout/fast food, I hide it inside of reusable shopping bags before getting out of the car to avoid judgement from my sanctimommy neighbors.

Confessional #12943999

Raise your hand if you do everything you can to avoid seeing the people you live near when you’re out in the wild.

I saw two of my neighbors at the grocery store and immediately zipped down another aisle. Then hid from shame! Hate those dumb, fake, nasty bitches! #sorrynotsorry

Confessional #21432956

I'm sick of going to my local Y to work out, only to find all of my neighbors there. I'm going to start travelling to the further one so I can work out where nobody knows my name.

Confessional #21759652

I’ve been successfully avoiding my neighbors for months now. It’s actually pretty more bullshit small talk and fake people. Leave me the fuck alone!

Confessional #18684212

When you can’t change a situation, especially a living situation, what you can do is make lemons out of lemonade!

I want to report my neighbors for having a filthy house, too many pets and lots of kids they hardly keep track of. What's stopping me? It's better than every episode of of Hoarders, Super Nanny & My 600lb Life COMBINED!

Confessional #11339985

Stay at home mom and I watch every move my neighbors make.The man across from me sneaks a different tramp in everyday while his wife works.I hate him

Confessional #9107388

Praying my neighbors house passes their inspection today. I want new neighbors. My current ones suck. Was so excited when they listed their house last week.

Confessional #7096657

If you’re ever worried about whether your neighbors give a sh*t about what you do — well, it looks like we all do. Lol. Let’s just try to be good humans, okay?