Why I’ll Never Have Another Brazilian Again

My husband and I have been married for over 17 years (obviously, I was a teen bride—OBVIOUSLY) so it can sometimes be a challenge to keep the spice in our sex life. We’ve used lots of things over the years: Lingerie, toys, porn, you know the drill (no, we have never used a drill).

But my favorite “spice” is pubic hair art. That is, over the years, I’ve shaved various shapes into my pubic region: hearts, arrows, a martini glass, his initial, etc. (My God, I just realized that I’m an artist, and my medium is pubic hair.) If a particular piece doesn’t come out well, I just make it a Rorschach test, and we have great sex anyway.

(I will not be including any of those pictures with this post.)

For my husband’s last birthday, I decided to surprise him with a Brazilian. Now, I’ve never had a wax job on any part of me before, much less one where they remove everything from my hoo-ha. (I know, they don’t actually have to remove everything, but I figured go big or go home, right?) I decided that I could spare some hair in honor of my husband.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below


I didn’t think much of the whole process when I was scheduling the appointment, but honestly, I was a little nervous when the day came. When the technician arrived, I gave her a frightened look.

“First time?” she inquired.

“Yep,” I chirped softly.

She then proceeded to explain the process and how she was going to remove the most sensitive hair first and then the rest of it. Then she moved the blanket.

“Oh. Uhhhhh, well, first we need to trim the hair back a bit. Quite a bit.”

I guess I had a forest going on there. I silently cursed my Italian grandmother. And the technician proceeded to trim my pubes with teeny tiny scissors (at least she didn’t have to get out a chainsaw), which actually tickled a bit. So I giggled and then got nervous about giggling over someone touching my pubic hair. Because it seemed vaguely inappropriate. (But it felt kinda nice.)

“Okay, now that we’ve trimmed the hair, I’m going to remove the most sensitive area first.”

“I’ve pushed out two kids. How hard can this be?” I pretended to be brave.

“Okay, then, here I go.”

“HOLYMOTHEROFUCKINGSHITBALLSMOTHERFUCKER!!” I screamed in my head.

But what I uttered through clenched teeth was a weak, “I’m okay.”

And then she pressed her hand against my pubic bone (I assume to alleviate the pain).

“Harder! Harder! HARDERRRRR!” I screamed. Only that might have caused some more awkwardness.

After she threw me a weird glance, she assured me, “Well, that was the worst one. It gets easier from here.”

And it went like that for one fucking long session. Time became meaningless. I tried to concentrate on my breathing and not kicking her in the fucking face. Breathe in. Breathe out. Restrain foot. Repeat.

Fortunately, she was right. The first one was the worst. (But the rest sucked pretty hard too.) After removing all of my hair, she applied some sort of soothing salve. It had a name. I don’t remember it. I was kind a hoping for a massage. Or a cigarette.

But the awkward sexual innuendo and the pain are not the reasons I will no longer be getting Brazilians. No, I could deal with those again. There are three other reasons I will no longer be waxing the hooha:

1. After the technician left the room, I picked myself up off of the table. Actually I kind of slid off of the table in my own sweat. I walked over to the mirror to examine myself, and I was horrified. Not because I looked like a prepubescent girl (although that was slightly horrifying). I was horrified because it was at that moment that I realized that my pregnancy stretch marks went ALL THE WAY DOWN INTO MY TANTALIZING TRIANGLE. They look like grotesque, greedy little fingers pointing the way down. Or lightening bolts threatening to strike any who enter.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below


Fortunately for me, my husband didn’t seem to notice the stretch marks. He was quite happy with the results. Also, he was too busy noticing that…

2… Without the hair there to provide a buffer, I was horny as hell. Constantly. This became a problem. (My husband didn’t think this was a problem.) It didn’t matter where I went or what I was doing, I wanted to attack my husband. Or the waiter. Or the lamppost. Suffice it to say, we had a lot of sex over the next week. But the constant horniness only lasted until…

3… The hair started growing back, and I switched from ecstasy to agony. AGONY. Apparently—and no one warned me about this—I am not a good candidate for waxing. The itching, while annoying, was the least of my problems. Turns out that I am prone to ingrown hairs, and they hurt like a mofo. I started telling my husband I had boils and scurvy and bad, bad shit. I looked like a diseased slave from Game of Thrones. Not even a Dothraki would ravage me.

So, basically, I’m done with the Brazilians. Forever. I’ll stick to pubic hair art to spice things up.

I’m thinking about a chili pepper next.

About the writer

@FoxyWinePocket

Kathryn Leehane (AKA Kelly 'Foxy' Fox) is a mom and a writer living in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband and two children. She writes the humor blog, Foxy Wine Pocket, where she shares twisted stories about her life as a mother, wife, friend, and wine-drinker in suburbia. Irreverent, inappropriate, and just plain silly, Kathryn strives to make you spit out your drink with every post. In her down time, she inhales books, bacon, and Pinot Noir, and her interests include over-sharing, Jason Bateman, and crashing high school reunions. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

From Around the Web

Close

susktc.com 1 week ago

INTRODUCING OF SUS™ BLENDED WAX REFINERY EXPERT (BD)
It’s pleasure to get introduced SUS™ Blended Wax Refinery Expert (BD); manufacturer of the highest quality Textile Wax Rolls and Softener. (SUS™) Blended Wax Refinery Expert (BD) & Khan’s Trading Corporation (KTC™), one of the leading and Bangladesh Government approved only Textile wax Rolls and Softener Manufacturer and supplier project. Over time we have proven ourselves highest quality Textile Wax Rolls and Softener manufacturer and supplier in this field. We strongly believe that there are very few product options available in our country and throughout the world as good as ours. We have been an established and popular company with an excellent track record for the best customer satisfaction. We have never compromised on the quality and the services provided to the customer. We believe in keeping the customers happy and providing them with products at a very competent price. We have an excellent staffs who will guide you with their best ideas by keeping in constant touch with your company and informing about the market trends.
http://goo.gl/UkYqhe

susktc.com 1 week ago

It’s a World Class Brand Name of SUS™ Blended Textile Wax Rolls & Softener Manufacturing Plants in Bangladesh

Kelly 3 months ago

i love hearing these Brazilian waxing horror stories. The first couple of times always sucks but it does get better. I’ve waxing since I was 15, not because I was having sex, but it’s common practice with the women in my family.

Cassie 3 months ago

Waxing was painful at first. Not bad now and compared to shaving, I rarely itch when it’s growing back. Shaving gives me s rash that looks like a naked diseased chicken.

Cricket 3 months ago

Hair makes you musty it holds odor…..

Rachel 3 months ago

I have a Brazilian wax once a year. They hurt like a mother. The technician says it will hurt less if I do it more often. Brazilian waxes are not cheap. To ease the itching, I shave between waxes and use the gel they sell, it’s worth it!

Layla 3 months ago

I can no longer go completely bald down there after keeping mine bald for around 15 years. You see, I contracted MRSA from a school I taught at in 2011 and I also have lupus. Well now I’m a mrsa colonizer/carrier. Every little skin opening I am subject to a relapse of mrsa which I have been hospitalized with numerous times. It never goes away, always returns.

It loves that region as well as the anus and the nose out of moisture and warmness of those regions.

I began to have constant mrsa outbreaks on my vagina region almost monthly but continued to shave there because it’s my trademark and I think it looks beautiful.

The mrsa got so bad that I no longer even wanted to live (it’s very painful). Any nick, and it enters and grows. My dr had warned me many times to stop.

Earlier this year I stopped. Now I keep mine trimmed short with a beard/facial hair trimmer but it will never be completely bald.

once I found myself saying I no longer wanted to live out of the pain, I finally gave it up.

Mrsa now kills more in the U.S. Than aids. It is extremely difficult almost impossible to irradiate once you are colknized or a carrier. Very depressing.

Chrissy 3 months ago

Hahaha….you’re amazing!

Adry 3 months ago

Laser IS effective. Actually I did IPL, which apparently is less hurtful. I loved it! Sure, you need a retouch every 6 months, but is worth it! In my case, it didn’t remove every single hair, but the ones that survived are very thin and take a while to grow. For me, it wasn’t painful, but I guess it depends on how sensitive your skin is and how thick your hair is.

Meppie 3 months ago

So I gotta ask at this point… since you have never experienced in-growns or itching… was all of this hair art in like 3D? You know… like those bushes and shrubs at Disney that are shaped into characters?

Elisabeth Grundnes 3 months ago

I have tried everything but laser. Now i resort to grabbing a pice of the forest and janking it out. Yes it hurts but at least I get a more fresh feeling down there. I don’t keep it all nude because it caused me to get infections. Now I keep mah curtians and since I’m single noone is bothered buy it. Healthy is always the best choice imo. ;P

v 3 months ago

Ingrowing hairs are the worst. Why do we put ourselves thru this lol whoever decided it was a good idea to make it a ‘trend’ to shave wax cream pluck etc our pubic hair should be shot. I bet it was a man……i reckon wed all plod along quite happily with our rainforest growing wild and out of control and because nobody had instigated the idea of hair removal we wouldn’t care! I wouldn’t care if the spider legs emerged from the side of my underwear cos that would be the norm but nope. I feel compelled to remove it because even tho the only people who see my vjay are my fiancé myself and the smear test nurse once everu three years, I still feel peer pressure. I may give the idea of shaving things into the hair a go tho, but I’m pretty sure given my lack of artistic skills that unlike the author of this post, pubic hair art is not gonna be my forté

Kathy 3 months ago

My husband is game for anything, he’d love to help with the shape making! Lol This area is really my only issue! My under arms take 30 seconds and I’ve never had hair on my legs so I’ve never shaved them.

Kelina 3 months ago

Eventually I’m having that done. Too broke right now lol

Cortney Niehaus 3 months ago

LOVED This. I needed to laugh!……Yorkie LMAO!

Marian Williams 3 months ago

This made me laugh out loud over and over. As recurring brazilian client, I totally get your experience. I have it every time I wait too long in between appointments. Thanks for putting into words the wacky, torturous world of the brazilian wax.

Lorraine 3 months ago

thanks for making me LOL in pubic!! I mean public!

Just Jenn 3 months ago

Oh my gosh! I so needed a good laugh! That was awesome!!!!

Lynn 3 months ago

OMG! I was laughing so hard the tears were rolling down my face. Hubby is sitting next to me in bed wondering what’s so funny.

I never tried waxing, just plain ole shaving. I am an old fart and if tweezing my eyebrow makes my eyes tear up there is no way in hell someone is taking a gander at my who ha and ripping off a wad of my pubes with wax. Anyway, at my age the hair down there is pretty sparce. Perhaps a little artistic trimming may spice thing up. Thanks for the laughs and the warning.

falene 3 months ago

Thank you, everyone! I haven’t laughed so hard in G-d knows how long!!

Ariane 3 months ago

I perfectly understand your experience as I ‘m a brazilian mom and I m used to do this every month since I was a teenager . Really hurt , but I like the final result !

Erin 3 months ago

I got a Brazilian sugar wax done a few weeks ago. It hurt so bad but was worth it! Apparently a sugar wax is much better and doesn’t make you have ingrown hairs.

Sara Torres 3 months ago

Hi, I am 41 years old. when I was in my 20 and 30 I had a lot of waxing on my arms and the bikini wax. The bikini was is the most painful stuff I have ever had in my life, after the waxing session I can not even wear my undies because is so horrible painful not even have sex right away you imagine the pain of the fritccion of the skin.

I though was super sexy to have the brassilian wax for my guy I was just dating in that time, But guess what? one day he toll do not wax down there because he likes the hair and is more sexy for him to have a lot of hair. So since that time I do not have to do the brassialian wax any more. Also brassilian wax is a little bit expensive to pay to somebody to pull you hair owh, so I learn how to do the wax on my self an as a result of been doing wax for long time my hair does not grown anymore so i just have to pull the little one grown.

I love this topic

Kathleen 3 months ago

I so love this, I am an esthetician and know what it’s like to be the technician and the client. I too have that beautiful stretch mark that looks like I nearly split in half down my public area. Mine is so bad hair doesn’t even grow down that line more so I have no choice but to take the damn hair off so I don’t have a damn grand Canyon running up to what is supposed to be the only gorge of my body. Well if you ever attempt it again I have some awesome tips on how to help the who ha NOT welt up like a hive of bees nested in your underwear.

amss 3 months ago

so…losing the forest before i give birth (to my first child)….not recommended? my husband saw me and said “um…yeah, maybe go get waxed before you have the baby”. my midwife laughed.

Alexa 3 months ago

So, laser was effective? I’ve heard it can scar and doesn’t always last. I’d do it in a heart beat if it really lasts and isn’t going to leave scars.

Stacey 3 months ago

BAH! Best reply ever.

Love Barnett 3 months ago

I’m not sure how old this comment is, but Veet does now make a formula especially for the bikini area. I’ve used it for several years now, and I have sensitive skin. It also doesn’t smell all chemically and like melted plastic ass anymore either!

Brittany 3 months ago

Settle down now

Magen 3 months ago

I have tears from laughing so hard! Thanks, I really needed the laugh!

Anna 3 months ago

As a registered nurse on a surgical floor, I can tell you I will never wax there. I’ve had multiple patients over the years that have had to have surgery to remove badly infected ingrown hairs, it ends up looking like someone carved a chunk of skin out with an ice cream scoop. Not worth it!

Viv 3 months ago

Yeah, I used it on my legs, no problem, but did my ‘stache, which was barely noticeable anyway, and ended up with a horrific red burn that got more and more red as the day went on because I did it just before work and we were busy that night. I seriously thought I was gonna die, and everyone kept asking what was wrong with my face, so I had to act like I didn’t know, and just assumed I was allergic to my laundry soap (wiping arm across face) It was awful!

Kristy 3 months ago

OMG that was hilarious. As a mom the stretch mark thing I totally get… But I’m a regular waxer because my husband loves it so much. That one spot hurts like hell but I buy this stuff at the sex shop that numbs (in the anal section) and apply it all over the “waxing area” about 15 minutes before my appointment and I just read a book while she goes to town. I still flinch at that one spot but she surprises me and switches up the order. I never know when it’s coming and that seems to help. Also, when I get home I apply Aquaphor and never get the ingrown hairs anymore. The more regular you are the less painful and less time. I’m in and out in 15-20 minutes now. Living near the beach and with 3 kids I barely have time to shave my legs let alone my hoohaa daily.

tina 3 months ago

I’ve only used wax strips at home on the bikini line, that wasn’t bad, but I did shave it all off once and yes, the itching and ingrown hairs was horrid. Never again! I do trim it short, and shave the sides but im not going thru that itch-fest again. My husband shaved his hair off once too Haha! I refused to have sex with him for days while it started to grow back, it felt like someone was hitting me with a porcupine down there! Lol

Waxing By Celeste 3 months ago

I love your story! I recommend all my clients a product call PFB Vanish and it seems to help many of them with ingrown hairs. I’m Brazilian so being waxed down there is a must and when I have too much hair, I don’t let me husband near me! I must be bare down there. Makes me feel sexy!

April G 5 months ago

My waxer gave me some take home salve which helped a lot. Granted, I don’t have a Brazilian either. My husband doesn’t like it, I’ve only gone mostly frontal.

Monica 8 months ago

Well for one, I’m kinda sorry how the waxing took place, I get and have given a lot of Brazilians and its not the same experience. Also you should have been spoken to about after care and ways to prevent ingrowns. And lastly despite my opinions this article was hilarious and waxing is definetly not for everyone! (But sometimes it depends on who’s providing the service)

Gaynor 8 months ago

You are hilarious’!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to send this to my daughter and daughter in law to be! Hahahaha Ha!!!!!!

Landscape lovely 8 months ago

Nothing feels.better than the smooth clean landscaped lady!!!! I don’t do it for anyone but myself. The first time was tough, but if you stick to a 6 week schedule it’s a breeze. Just like plucking eyebrows….. the hair thins out and stops growing back completely.

Tawny 8 months ago

This was amazing, and not too far off my first and only Brazilian. Although, I actually did scream “holy shit ball sack!” at the top of my lungs, at which point the kind lady doing my wax proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for 5 minutes…apparently I was the only customer she had in her 10 year career to yell it before.

Mariah 8 months ago

I’m the same, waxing causes awful breakouts, not attractive! I had laser removal on my bikini about 5 years ago, thrilled, absolutely thrilled at no shaving, just smooth skin. I get a hair or two growing in the lasered area occasionally which I just pluck or shave. I had been told to come back if that happens, but since it hurts like a mofo, I’m ok to just shave the one hair every three months or so. Lol. I’d love to get my legs done, but it’s pretty expensive.

Ps. IPL doesn’t work for hair removal no matter what they claim, I’ve tried it. It doesn’t hurt, but it also doesn’t work. It may reduce or soften the growth, but doesn’t remove the hair permanently. If you want real, long term, hair removal, you have to go for the traditional laser. Which yes, hurts. Ask your technician what type of process she/he’s using and do your own research before you commit! (I wasted a lot of money on IPL).

Crista 8 months ago

I’ve been a waxing specialist for over 17 years. This encounter makes no sense. The easier pulls are at the start. The harder ones are near the end when the endorphins start to kick in. It sounds as if this was a bad inexperienced waxer. Ingrown hairs come from a rough waxing experience and too much friction in that area too soon after the wax. Poor after instructions on how to treat the area clearly. Bad waxing technique would also cause the hair to come back itchy verse baby soft. It’s never pleasant, but it shouldn’t feel like an assault on your lady area either.

Jaime 8 months ago

My hubby is not a fan either thank goodness.

Jaime 8 months ago

Lucky for me the hubby doesn’t like hairless crotch look. I shaved it all gone and kept it up for a week or so. One night after sex he asked how long was I was going to be that way lol. So now just trim it up and keep it short.

Peggy 8 months ago

You should try letting him shave you! It drives my husband nuts.

Eren 8 months ago

Hilarious! I laughed so hard I cried… maybe because now that I’ve gone through pregnancy once.. I’m scared of getting a Brazilian. ..

Sara 8 months ago

Its ok but you know these hairs not good for healthy life. So I suggest to all please remove these hairs quickly. Thanks.

Stéphanie 8 months ago

I would add reason #4 which is YOU PEE CROOKED UNTIL YOUR HAIR GROWS BACK!
Forget about peeing standing up in a public restroom. That pee is gonna go down your legs!
I am all for the trim and tidy trend. The prepubescent look freaks out my hubby.

The Momma 8 months ago

Lol… you know, I’ve been seriously thinking about getting this done…. Until I read this!! The hubby is just gonna have to deal with the Forrest.

Cheryl 8 months ago

Ha! This is hilarious! What made it even funnier was that a Wal-Mart ad popped up that said, I kid you not, “Give your furry friend everything they need.” It made me actually laughed out loud.

Rachel 8 months ago

I thought you were suppose to keep the hoo-ha clean shaved, all the time

Matafleur 8 months ago

The more you wax, the less painful it is, the less ingrowns you will get and you are less horny afterwards since your bits are used to it (Italian, Portuguese and Black Irish…I know about hairy). Your waxer should have given you something to apply afterwards to help alleviate the ingrowns AND some numbing cream before. If you ever dive in again, apply lots of cream in that most ouchy spot.

Jennifer Botts 8 months ago

I have been shaving my entire area since I was about 19. I do it as a regular part of my shower routine about twice a week. For me it just makes me feel clean. It does start to get itchy but only of you don’t keep up with it. Any time I have tried to grow it back it makes me feel unclean. Never have tried waxing, but it sounds painful.

Megan 8 months ago

As a mom who is prone to ingrown hairs, i use waxing as an alternative to shaving. The first time I got a Brazilian, the I experienced the same reaction. I spoke to my esthetician and she advised me to exfoliate (gently) down there daily in the shower. After day three all problems were gone! I will never shave again. Give it one more try, it won’t be as bad as the first go around. Added bonus: the more regular you wax, the less hair grows back (and finer, too! ) my first experience was 5 years ago and I swear by it. I do my under arms, too

Leigh Morello-Moltz 8 months ago

Big baby! As long as you don’t go longer than 4 or 5 weeks at the most in between it doesn’t hurt!

Rachel E. K. Mitchell 8 months ago

Yikes! I have no problem with pubic hair. Neither does my husband. Granted, I’m not super hairy, so I just shave the edges and trim with scissors before I go swimming. That’s it. No way I’d ever get a Brazilian.

Miriam Lokelani Smith 8 months ago

Where the crap did you find this pic?? Lol

Keisha Eggers 8 months ago

Smh No thank you

Kristin Armstrong Orozco 8 months ago

How is hair removal down there such a novel concept!? Pubes went out in the 90’s.

Elissa Thompson 8 months ago

I don’t know who you’ve been waxing, but I have so many stretch marks “down there” that I no longer have enough hair to cover all of the blank spaces.

Christie Dempsey Skerski 8 months ago

Im not sure what is worse.. laying on the table for your nastiness to be seen like that by anyone (hell,I cringe if I have to go to the gyno) or being the poor schmuck who is removing it.. Why would anyone want that job?????????

Shardae Sudweeks Curtis 8 months ago

Once you get in the routine of going regularly, the growth is sparse, so there’s less to be waxed and therefore not as painful. Plus that area gets more used to it, so not as painful again. It actually prevents me from getting so many ingrowns. If I shave, then it’s a nightmare. Everyone is different.

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

When I get a wax, it typically lasts a month, sometimes more. If you get one, make sure they are licensed and know what they’re doing. Also, if you’re nervous, start with a bikini wax. Much faster and not as– intense?

Jennifer Quillman-Drago 8 months ago

Omg that is on the most hilarious things I ever read!! Thank you

Kayla Marie 8 months ago

How long does it last?

Nancy O’Brien 8 months ago

Some people are just more prone to them, I started getting them practically the next day. I also get them from shaving, no matter what I use or how much I exfoliate.

Susan Ballew-Outcalt 8 months ago

No way would I ever do that ill stick to shaving

Andrea Beagin 8 months ago

I use European Wax Center’s Ingrown Hair Serum. They also have a body was which exfoliates and slows hair re growth

Karri Hight 8 months ago

I must be a mother effing warrior woman, because it doesn’t bother me that much! LOL I get them done all the time, especially while I was pregnant, and while they aren’t my favorite thing, they aren’t that bad. My girl is like a ninja, she’s in, she’s out, you’re done! :)

Samantha Arthur 8 months ago

I just died of laughter…my husband too LOL sooo true…soo very very true

Ashley ‘Schriefer’ Flaumenhaft 8 months ago

Ha ha!

Krystal Taillon 8 months ago

I do it for MYSELF, not my husband. It feels so much cleaner and actually makes me feel more feminine, not pre-pubescent. I also am confused about the link to pedophilia? If I were a man (or lesbian for that matter), I’d appreciate not having to search through a jungle for the treasure… LOL 😛
Different strokes for different folks though!

Veronica Godwin Maisevich 8 months ago

How do you prevent them?

Jennifer Zapf 8 months ago

well I now know too much

Amanda Norment Mclamb 8 months ago

Hahahahaha!! Lmao hilarious

Leila Galloway 8 months ago

Bahahaha! Never!

jenn 8 months ago

Oh no, she’s definitely right. Waxing can be painful, but at least it goes away. Experience tells me that a chemical burn takes days to heal. Days that you can’t wear panties or jeans, and have to sit side ways and leaning over on the couch. I’ll take the instant pain of wax over the burn anytime.

Kim Chomenchuk 8 months ago

I honestly thought hair removal down there was just required lol

Sophia Malave 8 months ago

Excellent story, bravo to the artist & writer!

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

Another option- in winter only get a bikini wax (edges only basically) and save the Brazilian for summer. That’s what I usually do.

Julie 8 months ago

Lol, omg me too! Tried my legs in high school and my bff’s mother had to put the spray Benedrayl on it. Was in tears with the worst rash!

Susan Olmos 8 months ago

It’s not about being pre-pubescent at all. It’s smoother, feels better and easier for all. Not sure where the idea that men who enjoy it might be pedophiles? That’s kind of a dramatic thought…..but you’re right, to each their own.

Anne-Marie McFarlane 8 months ago

This is one of the funniest articles I’ve ever read!

Deb Spriggs-Twigg 8 months ago

I’ve never found it to hurt too bad and I love the results.

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

I usually use acne products and that helps. I also use an exfoliating brush a couple days after.

Amy Andersen 8 months ago

My hubby does the, eh hem, harder to reach areas. He loves it! Lol

Laura Fiorelli Martelle 8 months ago

I had this done before. Never ever again. I was so swollen afterwards I couldn’t walk with my legs together. I’ll stick with having a forest thank you!!

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

I have NEVER been able to wax myself at home! I tried, but I just can’t!

Shannon Eckleberry 8 months ago

And I in no way benefit from that, I just use their product and I’m a fan! 😉

Shannon Eckleberry 8 months ago

I’m a huge fan of Brazilian waxing. It’s so much nicer than shaving and really it only hurts the first time, and the pain really isn’t *that* bad. I mean, honestly, I’ve been through MUCH worse… after all I’m a mom. 😉 Perspective…

Casey Dynakowski 8 months ago

This. Is. So. Good.

Kirsten Gilbert 8 months ago

oh my gosh, i am dying reading this – this is hilarious

Pamela Renee Zorich 8 months ago

Oooh I laughed soo hard!!

Michelle Markey 8 months ago

I’m trying to figure out what year the committee met and decided that pubic hair was gross.

Nicole Reichert 8 months ago

After two days, one would exfoliate down there. And your ingrown problem is fixed.

Brina 8 months ago

Because hot wax and ripping hair out by the roots is such a treat?

Allison Rogers 8 months ago

OMFG LMAO So perfect

Juli Kosovec 8 months ago

That was so so funny.

Katie Macdonald 8 months ago
Lisa Marie Banawa 8 months ago

Please share the name of this serum!!

Teresa Wyatt 8 months ago

aaahahaa!! ive considered it, but im too scared. i’ll stick to shaving until i can afford laser hair removal. lmao

Cher Johnson 8 months ago

ALL FOUR TIMES! Lmao

Sylvia Gonzalez-Miller 8 months ago

Bahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!! OMG…she said scurvy…

Cher Johnson 8 months ago

This is why I vowed to NEVER do this again!! You shoulda heard the stuff that came outta my mouth!

Lisa Ryan 8 months ago

So, reading this in work was a bad idea, internally crying with laughter!!

Alexis Reilly 8 months ago

OMG. This was hysterical. I attempted to get a bikini wax but after the first strip came off, NOPE!!!! No way was I volunteering for that pain!

Teresa Wyatt 8 months ago

HOLYMOTHERFUCKERSHITBALLS

aaahahaha i lost it

Michelle Ranere 8 months ago

I rather look like a gorilla down there than be in pain or itchy lol

Kirsty Bentley 8 months ago

Horrifying is the word, the only thing I can tolerate now is threading

Naomi Nonmom Muldrew 8 months ago

Me and my husband laughed sooo hard!!!

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

Mine has yet to do that! I’ve been doing them for almost ten years now. Maybe I’m just weird? Lol! My eyebrows started doing that finally (I was like Bert from Sesame Street.). Maybe a couple more years?

Valerie Ann 8 months ago

Guarantees I will Never get one done! :)

Candi Foster Tompkins 8 months ago

Same thing happened to me! By the time my skin started to heal and look less horrifying my eyebrows had grown back! Hahaha

Linda Piejak Mitchell 8 months ago

Finipil. You can order it online if your waxer doesn’t supply it. I’m partial to the little single-use packets. Well worth whatever you pay for it.

Jodie Mettler 8 months ago

I’ve read this article several times and it is just as funny every time!

Jamie Thom 8 months ago

That is so funny and honest! I have never had one, but for every single reason she wrote. Great laugh. Had to share!

Helen Russo 8 months ago

reason 1 for me is NFW is anyone allowed there with hot wax!!!

Heather Kuczenski 8 months ago

I laughed so hard I was crying

Michelle Foster 8 months ago

Love this!

Nicole Johnson Rohn 8 months ago

I go when I am mid cycle( about 12 days after last period). The pain is next to nothing. Any other time, forget it. I still do brazillians… Just cleaner I guess. IMO

Kirsty Bentley 8 months ago

I got my eyebrows waxed at a salon once and walked out not noticing that she’d also taken a few layers of skin off. So waxing anything ever just won’t happen. Bravo ladies who even try it!

Mary Margaret 8 months ago

Weirdest article ever! But hilarious..

Adrienne Ross Manninen 8 months ago

And eventually you’re hair either stops growing back or thins!! I love brazilian waxes!

Elspeth Bretton 8 months ago

I think that the quest to appear pre-pubescent, is largely, pathetic, and also a bit horrifying. I do not want a sexual partner whom I have to worry about enjoying the adolescent look because they might also be a pedophile. To each her own, but food for thought, gals.

Lauralee Korba 8 months ago

Blahahaha so funny

Aimee Goffinett-Plunkett 8 months ago

Lmao!!! Too funny but honest!

Daphne Irvine 8 months ago

I have heard of people trimming, waxing and leaving it. One poster said “ew, I didn’t know people let that hair grow”?! Now THAT is the first time I’ve heard THAT comment!

Amanda De Leon-Wilson 8 months ago

I don’t think I could deal with the pain!!! And I don’t want to see that!!! Haha

Tracie Carter Hans 8 months ago

So funny, I wish I didn’t read that in my docs waiting room

Kelly Beninghove 8 months ago

Bahahahahaha!!

Lin 8 months ago

Be wary of lasers and IPL, I do it for a living and it is quite painful, plus it isn’t always permanent. Still prone to ingrowns during the process too, you have to exfoliate :/

Vicki Vincent Bokhari 8 months ago

I did this before. Once. While I was pregnant and couldn’t see the nether regions and barely reached well to take care of my own housekeeping. I bled and it freaked me out. Being ever-so-curious, one of my friends wanted me to tell her how it went. I called her after, lightheaded and shaking. I got her voicemail so I gave her the low-down as a message. It is 8 years later and she has still saved that message and listens to it when she needs a good laugh.

Kelley Curl 8 months ago

As a licensed Esthetician and someone who does TONS of Brazilian waxing, I have several points. Yes, the article was funny, I still have a sense of humor. #1-numbing spray. It helps the wax grab the hair and not the skin and is the same ingredient used to numb underneath the skin prior to receiving stitches/sutures. #2-there is client responsibility to prevent ingrown hairs. #3-product, experience and technique play a huge roll in your experience. #4-everybody looks different from each other “down there”, I’ve never seen ONE with stretch marks. #5-don’t EVER get waxed without a referral from a friend.

Jessica Nuncio 8 months ago

Oh wow!!!!, bahahaha

Jennifer Garrett 8 months ago

She said hoo-ha!
Growing back is awful. Laser is where it’s at.

Amy Andersen 8 months ago

I’ve been waxing for 10 years, and wouldn’t have it any other way. I actually just got my own set up at home so I don’t have to pay astronomical amounts for someone else to do it! The more you stick with it, the better it is, hair grows back less and finer when it does! Buck up princess, it’s not that bad! 😉

Malinda Poirier 8 months ago

Hahahahahaha! Amazing! !! Literally my experience! Except I didn’t get ingrown hairs until my last appointment before my baby arrived. (Must have been hormones) They have taken over a year and a half to heal. Completely lame!!! Ugly!!! And painful! Not going down that road again. Won’t chance it!

Mary Katherine Backstrom 8 months ago

Hahahaha. This caption is everything.

Andrea Beagin 8 months ago

I get brazillians every 3 weeks. The first time is the worst… After that there is no pain. Fyi-there is a serum you can apply which eliminates ingrown hairs

Aimee Liz 8 months ago

This is great! I had it done twice I really liked it! It’s just too costly to keep up with..felt like bee stings

Virginia IceKream Crouch 8 months ago

Sweet Jesus isn’t that the truth. Who knew babies give you stretches marks on TOP of your pussy instead of just in the damn thing.

Sandy Brucia 8 months ago

OMG! That was hilarious!!!

Dawn Williams 8 months ago

Lmaooo

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

Lol. I always get a rash when I shave! A lot of people think I’m nuts for waxing, but I’m also near sighted and can’t see what I’m doing either! It’s hurts less than waxing, but I can’t ever go back. I do love to tell the lady who’s waxing me about this post! (When it’s a different one. I don’t tell the same person the same story over and over! Lol!)

Ginny Beglin 8 months ago

I do my own brazillian waxes lol.

Miranda Friz 8 months ago

This was insanely inappropriate and f’ing hilarious!

Good Twin 8 months ago

This picture tho !!!

Darla King- Walter 8 months ago

Ha ha

Chris Primmer 8 months ago

I read this after coming home freshly waxed. Lol. I had read this on a different blog site and told the lady all about this experience. I’ve never had a problem with ingrown hairs. Or itching. And it’s soooo much easier and smoother and longer lasting than shaving! Shaving actually gives me a rash

Gillian Nicole 8 months ago

Lolololol !!!! I got one once … Literally worse than child birth . I literally had tears rolling down my face and sweat dripping down my back … Guess it’s not for me either lol

Christy Eubank 8 months ago

They really aren’t that bad. Funny experience though.

Kristin Pennock Jackson 8 months ago

You have to exfoliate a lot in the days and weeks after a Brazilian to avoid that ingrown hair problem, haha. I had 4 while pregnant, and fyi… They are WAY more painful during pregnancy!!

Kristin Briggs 8 months ago

LMAO, I just snorted laughing so hard. I won’t ever do this again either…hahaha!

Mysti Freed 8 months ago

I have tears from laughing so hard!

Dinorah Caballero 8 months ago

Haha love this article!

Sarah Marsic 8 months ago

No thank you!! Never had any sort of bikini wax and don’t plan to. Shaving is easier and less painful!

Cortney Kramer 8 months ago

Well that was a little TMI lol

Ruby 10 months ago

I meant to say at least three days. And I’m sure the same products would work for the same issues if you shave.

Ruby 10 months ago

Hi, if you are the last bit interested in getting another wax try using sugar body scrub or body glide(something like that) down there at least the days after the wax for as many days you want. It helps with the itching and ingrown hairs. I’ve been getting waxed every month for over a year now. Good luck with everything either way though.

Caz Wilson 1 year ago

It honestly does get easier with time and there’s a great rollerball you can buy to get rid of ingrowing hairs. I love the results and how I don’t have to care about “down there” for weeks after!

Katie 1 year ago

Lol #2 except that my husband does mind it a little bit. It really depends who you go to. The first time I went to a beauty school to save money and everything after that is hardly worse than a haircut

JamericanSpice 1 year ago

I haven’t laughed so much in awhile. I promise I’m laughing now with you. bwahahahaha you didn’t buy that did you? :)

the Brat 1 year ago

I have been waxed over the years if I was going to ever don a bathing suit. Some were worse than others, I had one expereince with a professional that was horrific, painful the day of and it was so violent that the whole area was literally bruised– the bruising faded about the exact same moment that the hair grew back. Ugh! When I called to complain, the manager said the waxer had just broken up with her boyfriend!

In terms of chili peppers, that is brave, make sure it isn’t a habenero. Start with ginger after googling “figging” NSFW!

Nancy 1 year ago

I had Brazilians done while I was pregnant, It’s not that bad.

Wenchy 1 year ago

That was very funny. I did not find it such a terrible experience at all. Don’t think I would be very gifted in the art department… as for stretch marks – It is all over me, so I guess it is ALL over me? I have never looked.

Missy 1 year ago

Ingrown hairs are quite common with waxing. Olive Oil is a great solution to help prevent, for after getting a wax. When hair grows in no matter which way it comes out there’s irritation. Wax or shave.
Veet, Nair.. I wouldn’t recommend using down there either.

Olivia Kefer 1 year ago

OMG that is hilarious. Try sugar waxing. I started getting the Brazilian about a year ago and love it (not the pain although your first is the worst after that it is not as bad) for the ingrowns you are supose to use a body brush with dial soap and do it in circular motions. I have not had one ingrown and my friend who is prone to it as well has not had any either.

Janet 1 year ago

OMG….. This was soooo funny, I couldnt stop laughing….

Sylvia Pesek 1 year ago

Oh, Sweetie … just wait a few years and that whole situation will take care of itself. Then you’ll miss it.

Diana DeLizio 1 year ago

lmao! Thanks for the laugh! Great article

Dubya 1 year ago

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. More, please.

Boz 1 year ago

Ha ha ha! I could totally imagine them having to get out the hedge trimmers on me when they pulled back the blanket. Glad to find I’m not the only one! Hilarious as always Foxy

Anna Packard 1 year ago

This was beyond hilarious! I’ll still get waxed though & resist the urge of kicking the girl in the face!

Nadine Dubiel 1 year ago

Oh godness I cant stop laughing!!!!!!

Dianne R 1 year ago

Sean, the crazy brother on The Big C, put it all into perspective. He said, “Women used to let their follicles grow wild like nature intended. I remember when going down on a woman was like snuggling, open-mouthed, with a baby lion. It was absolutely delightful. Now, it’s like licking a dolphin’s blow hole.”

Dianne R 1 year ago

The following is from Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues. If you haven’t seen the movie, do yourself a favor and buy it or rent it tonight. Then share it with all your friends.

INTRO — HAIR

Some of the monologues are based on one woman’s story, some of the monologues are based on
several women’s stories surrounding the same theme, and, a few times, a good idea became an
outrageous one. This monologue is based on one woman’s story, although the subject came up in
every interview and was often fraught. The subject being …

HAIR

You cannot love a vagina unless you love hair. Many people do not love hair. My first and only
husband hated hair. He said it was cluttered and dirty. He made me shave my vagina. It looked
puffy and exposed and like a little girl. This excited him. When he made love to me my vagina felt
the way a beard must feel. It felt good to rub it and painful. Like scratching a mosquito bite. It felt
like it was on fire. There were screaming red bumps. I refused to shave it again.

Then my husband had an affair. When we went to marital therapy, he said he screwed around because I wouldn’t please him sexually. I wouldn’t shave my vagina. The therapist had a German accent and gasped (Gasp.) between sentences (Gasp.) to show her empathy. She asked me why I didn’t want to please my husband. I told her I thought it was weird. I felt little when my hair was gone down there and I
couldn’t help talking in a baby voice and the skin got irritated and even calamine lotion wouldn’t
help it. She told me marriage was a compromise. I asked her if shaving my vagina would stop him
from screwing around. I asked her if she had many cases like this before. She said that questions
diluted the process. I needed to jump in. She was sure it was a good beginning.

This time, when we got home, he got to shave my vagina. It was like a therapy bonus prize. He
clipped it a few times and there was a little blood in the bathtub. He didn’t even notice it ’cause he
was so happy shaving me. Then, later, when my husband was pressing against me, I could feel his
spiky sharpness sticking into me, my naked puffy vagina. There was no protection. There was no
fluff.

I realized then that hair is there for a reason — it’s the leaf around the flower, the lawn around the
house. You have to love hair in order to love the vagina. You can’t pick the parts you want. And
besides, my husband never stopped screwing around.

Dianne R 1 year ago

I’m not a fan of pubic hair art on my body. I do it merely for comfort because the hair can be irritating to my skin. I am very sick and tired of hearing about men who complain that they like vaginas without hair because they look clean and sleek. It’s not a new car they’re looking at. It’s a part of a beautiful and complex system of the human body. It’s not meant to be on a showroom ready for someone to test drive it. Don’t lay it all out there on display. Let there be some mystery and subtly in your seduction. It’s meant to be tenderly and lovingly explored, letting the sensitive treasures be revealed by roving fingers and tongues. If a man can’t handle a little hair in his way now and then, he’s not worthy of sharing your bed.

Dianne R 1 year ago

I occasionally use Sally Hansen’s waxing strips and have my guy help me do it at home. I take Lyrica for my fibromyalgia pain and it helps to relieve nerve pain so waxing rarely hurts me. But I don’t know if that would be the case for anyone taking Lyrica or Neuronton or anything else in that class.

If you wish to explore pubic hair art, you could use experiment with dyeing your hair. There are several types available now that are specially designed for use in sensitive areas. Hair chalks and foams can probably be used, as well, but to be on the safe side, check the label and/or call the 1-800 number on the box. Trust me, you won’t be the first one asking that question.

Dianne R 1 year ago

Use of depilatories such as Veet, Nair of Sally Hansen is not advised on or near the bikini area. It can cause chemical burns so let’s all agree to not do that, shall we? You really don’t want that part of your body to feel like it is on fire. It’s not pretty.

Tori Leger Sneed 1 year ago

If you have a experienced waxed and hard wax it’s not a bad experience at all and it gets easier if you do it regularly

Kristi Koscica Barton 1 year ago

You made me cry. Laughed so hard I cried and woke the baby.

Helen Romero 1 year ago

I love my waxes, first time was bad but gets better. I have stretch marks and love them as they remind me of being a mother and don’t bother me at all in any other way. This was 1 persons experience, no a fact. Don’t wax around your period as is more painful and make sure the waxing place is hygienic. There is no science attached to this post/blog since is one persons opinion. Waxes rock and I am a hairy Latina. :) rasor bumps suck and hairy wooha a no no for me, too stinky.

Helen 1 year ago

I love waxing and despite that I do have stretch marks they don’t seem to bother me at all. No ingrown hair here and no itchiness at all. Love waxing, first time was cruel but gets better right after the first time. Plus I don’t wax around my period as intensify the pain. No one should stop doing something because someone had a bad experience, we all are different.

Kristen 1 year ago

I take it no one mentioned to exfoliate daily to prevent ingrown hairs? I get a wax done regularly. 5 weeks is the norm, but its the best. My lady takes 10 minutes (from the time the clothes come off to they go back on) – not long at all and to me, well worth it. I don’t west skimpy swimsuits or anything.. just makes me feel cleaner. Not a fan of hair, just won’t go the permanent route because there are men who like hair and I would hate to find my soulmate and then realize my hair (or lack there of) is a deal breaker on enjoying intimacy.

Nml 1 year ago

The difference is the hard wax vs the soft wax. I found a gal I drive 30 miles to see. I don’t do it as suggested just when it gets too out of control. It hurts while she’s doing it, but I’m fine afterward. I got my first one year ago for my SO I went to get a facial and she had extra time. Now we do the wax before the facial.

Angie 1 year ago

You forgot to mention the part where you splash all the tolilets and yourself everytime you pee in a public restroom (not actually seating, but like squatting, you know what I’m talking about). It’s the most annoying part of not having hair “there”. You pee all over the place, no hair to guide the pee into one single stream. And ALAS we’ve doing the anatomical reason for pubes in women!!!!!

Linda 1 year ago

I used an epilator as a friend suggested it and at the time it seemed like a great idea..madness as it was worse than any pain I’d ever experienced b4.I keep myself trim at all times but will never put myself thru that nightmare again. Your story is so funny had me lol and saying how brave you were

Desiree 1 year ago

I think everyone gets ingrown hairs the first time or two. Just remember, moisturizer and exfoliation.

Carrie Eilders 1 year ago

This is made more hilarious by the fact that it reminds me of a few first-hand accounts from friends that have made me laugh myself sick.

Amy Mathews 1 year ago

So glad I’ve never had an experience like that!! Mine have all been smooth sailing!

Susan McCord 1 year ago

Killing myself laughing…I think I met my blogger soul mate! <3

Lauren 1 year ago

Holy shit! I just laughed so loud that my co-workers stopped mid-conversation. Busted! :-)

Flc Aroma 1 year ago

Soraya Nasimie je bnt altijd welkom met je poes hahah

Martha Pham 1 year ago

I prefer to shave it all :-)

Deborah 1 year ago

Omg I laughed so hard. Thank you for going through this so I did not have to find out

Frances Walsh King 1 year ago

I have NEVER laughed as hard in my life. Brilliantly described still laughing xxx

Wanda Robles Rosario 1 year ago

Bahahaha!! Too funny!!

Kenya Lacke 1 year ago

Sorry for your experience, but yoyr technician really sucked. She was suppose to explain after care to you. She should have explained to you that you need to exfoliate every other day to keep the top layer of skin from forming over the growing hair. And a natural scrub would have been the best to use. Or something I like to call exfoliating moisturizer. I am prone to ingrown hairs as well, but with these after care steps I didnt have one single ingrown and I didnt itch while it was growing back.

Nicki Day 1 year ago

You are way too serious !! It’s called satire . Relax and read it again in the light hearted way that it is meant

Amie George 1 year ago

Crack up. Lol

Annamaria @ Bakewell Junction 1 year ago

Too funny. I’ve never had a Brazilian wax and never will. My skin is sensitive and I’ve had bleeding with other waxing.
Annamaria

Good Old Granny 1 year ago

I got one a week before my wedding. It was a mani-pedi trip with the girls. They suggested i get a Brazilian. It was a new thing that just came out (yep this was a while ago). Ok – wow never again. My skin is thin, and everywhere she ripped off the wax – I bruised. Badly. I didn’t have her take off the whole thing (thank God) but it was enough to where I looked like I got the hell beat out of me for the next week. Giant purple burning crotch. Lovely. On my wedding day I not only had to deal with the outgrowth and the itch, but the ingrowth and the pain. Plus my crotch was a very pretty color of green (it wasn’t envy believe me). Some people just aren’t meant to get these things.

Camille Olivia 1 year ago

you are a VERY funny lady! I love this piece. And you’ve also cemented (in my own mind) one more reason why I shall NEVER do this. I did once, a very long time ago, let someone shave me. I, too, was miserable when it began to grow back ((I also cursed my Italian grandmothers!)….but luckily did NOT have the ingrown hair issue. OUCH! Thanks for your frank and hilarious writing. You ROCK!

Tracey Wawryk 1 year ago

hahahahah! You are so funny! I can relate!

Sally Orlowski 1 year ago

OMG I’m going to cancel my appt. ASAP

Angie Ortiz 1 year ago

I think I would feel uncomfortable with some stranger down there ripping out all my hair! Wendy maybe you tolerate pain easier than most other people.

Denia 1 year ago

I too tried all of that and found waxing to hurt alot. My friend goes to be sugared and told me I should try that. She was right it was a way better experience. It did not leave me with a red hoo-ha from skin and hair being ripped out, cause the sugar only grabs the hair. One spot was sensitive but everywhere else was ok

Trisa C 1 year ago

While, yes, this is hilarious, this type of scenario and how common it is drives me BONKERS. As a professional in the field (esty first, and now full cosmetologist) what the writer and a lot of you in the comments went through is terrible, unprofessional, and sad that it’s so common place.
This is a fantastic example of why detailing before and after care is so important. None of what she experienced should have happened or been shocking, minus what is 100% unavoidable (like the discomfort during the service). She should have been asked at scheduling if she was a first timer and directed to a FAQ, or told over the phone. Length requirements, exfoliating prior, exfoliating after (so constant friction like awesome sex won’t cause more ingrowns).
Yeah. She still may never do it again, but ingrowns fucking suck and she should have been informed of their potential and how to care for them, amongst other things. Shame on the waxing studio, and her waxer.

Mary Revesz 1 year ago

I enjoyed this article..love it when woman can come out freely and tell it like it is~1

mary 1 year ago

It gets better if you keep with it! Only the first one or two times hurt like that, once the hair gets softer from not shaving and you go regularly, it doesn’t hurt! Also you can get creme that prevents ingrown hairs and numbing creme kits.

I am a regular waxer… I HATE the hair down there, I feel so much cleaner and fresher when it’s not there. I have tried laser but they said my hair color isn’t quite dark enough, so I guess i’m just destined to a life of waxing.

Andrea Gardner 1 year ago

I remember my first time getting waxed (and yes first time is the most painful it gets better) anyway my first time I was already nervous and embarrassed but they had girls in the room they were training also!! So I had a small audience. But worst part or that caught me off guard was when they said “ok, now put your legs straight up in the air” and I was like ok WTF… and they then waxed my ass crack!!!!

Christine 1 year ago

I have a similar story..My husband and I were going to go on out first trip abroad, to celebrate our 30th anniversary(I did get married early, at 17). So I thought I’m not THAT old, I can get this done, when I saw the Groupon for a Brazilian. Just like you, I wanted to surprise the hubby. I called and made the appointment with a very pleasant young woman on the phone. Then I realized I hated to drive to the city. So I called my middle daughter and begged her to please take me (she had lived in the city and was well experienced at getting around). As we drove in to the city, I increasingly became more nervous. This was a BAD idea. My daughter went to park the car and I went in. Immediately, I noticed 2 younger, thinner, long-legged, well dressed with beautiful hair women sitting in the waiting area. Now I’m thinking…yeah, I don’t belong here. All the while thinking, where’s my daughter? Shortly after 3 very handsome young MEN walk out and stand there smiling. The first guy says a name and one of the young ladies said “That’s me.” and goes in with the guy. The second guy says a name and the other young lady says “That’s me.” and goes in with the guy. Now I’m looking around for a third young lady when this handsome young guy says MY name. All I can do is stare at him and in 8 different ways/voices say NO…no…NOO..no no…um, NO-O-O. He says “Yes.” Then the conversation goes something like this…I can’t…Why not?… Your a guy!!..(He then throws out his hand and hip and says) No I’m not!…Yes you are!…No I’m not!…Oh dear god!..
I heard this was your first time so I asked them to give you to me…WHY!? Oh dear god!..Just come with me and we’ll talk. So now I’m desperately looking around for my daughter, while tentively following him to THE ROOM. Fearfully I enter. He starts explaining how we are going to proceed and how he won’t put me in any compromising positions. All the while I’m looking for ways to excape. He then asks me if I wanted a drink?…What do you have?…Some water with fruit in it?..Oh, I thought you meant something with alcohol. He then walks over to a drawer and pulls out what looks like a big pill. I’m thinking Yes! Drugs! Probably a good idea! He then unravels the big pill and to my surprise it’s a thong! You get undressed from the waist down and put this and a cover-up on while I go get you that water…That? What’s that gonna cover! After he leaves I’m walking in circles talking out loud to myself…You can do this, stop being a whimp!…Oh dear god!…Knock it off and man up!!. So I put my big girl panties (but not really, the thong was tiny and paper thin). He walks back in and with a surprised look of amusement says, I can’t believe you did it! We all could hear you talking and were betting you’d leave!..This is BAD idea, where’s my daughter?. He let’s her in for moral support. She sooooo does not want to be in the room with me but I grab her hand and beg her not to leave me. So I lay back and he discreetly proceeds from outside-IN. OK, this isn’t too bad, thoroughly embarrassing but do-able. But then we get to the IN part. Now this wax is soothingly warm on regular skin but unusually hot on that other kind of skin, nearly scolding!..
Whoah! Too hot! Too hot!…No it’s not…Yes it is!…OK, I’ll turn it down. Then he rips it off. I let out the highest pitched yelp I’ve ever heard. All the dogs in the neiborhood probably heard. I couldn’t help myself. My daughter was so embarrassed. And I tried not to make the noise but it was impossible. And in my panic I tried to bite her hand. What the hell Mom?!..Help me!..Get ahold of yourself! Another rip. Yelp!…Wait! Wait!, Have you ever accidentally taken off a labia before?…No…Are you sure?…Yes…Oh dear god! And it so went, Rip-Yelp!…Rip-Yelp! Till it was done. After, I got a chance to look at it. Yep, prepubescent girl (creeepyyy!). My technician was so nice he even waxed my legs, underarms, upper-lip and eyebrows for practically nothing. I asked him was I the oldest woman to have a Brazilian?..Nope, we have a lady in her 60’s that is a regular…Really?!…Yes…Wow. I tipped him BIG for having the bad fortune of having to deal with me. When I was leaving he said to ask for him the next time I came in. I hugged him and said “Oh sweetie, I want to thank you but I’m never doing that again.”.

Pallavi 1 year ago

OMG that rings a bell and not in a nice way. I’ve had a Brazilian a few times. And all I remember is promising myself that never again will I do this. However, maybe I am just a masochist inside and after a few months I just go back to it. You know what is worse? In India, they don’t take out most sensitive hair first so on a scale of 10 you go from pain level 10 to pain level 100 in a little time!

LisaEllen 1 year ago

OMG that’s hilarious! I get the French wax, they don’t remove hair further back then the vagina. I’m cool with this. I love it. My ‘girl’ will do designs if I want her to… nope, do your business so I can get on with mine.
As far as the horneness. I didn’t realize it would do that. I loved it but hated it at tge same time! 24/7! One must prepare for thisď 😉

Elizabeth K 1 year ago

I surprised my spouse with a Brazilian wax a year ago (creative birthday present) and I’ve regretted it ever since! Pain…ingrown whatevers…and the realization that the horrific pain was absolutely NOT worth it! This year I’m giving him wireless speakers for his home office. I figure it’s a functional, yet painless gift!

Sabrina Taylor 1 year ago

I love brazilians. Exfoliate!

Ginger Robertson 1 year ago

That had me lmao. I would never wax there as I am a big old chicken. I do shave there which is nice as I don’t get so sweaty. I know TMI.

Annie 1 year ago

I like Veet. Works great and thanks to my own Italian grandmother, I have to leave it on longer than advised. Luckily, I don’t have sensitive skin.

Michelle LaRosa McGlone 1 year ago

Hysterical! lol

Kristi Wilson Lotti 1 year ago

Nicole Nunes Smith there is still a special place in hell reserved for you.

Chris Prevost Williams 1 year ago

Hilarious. Especially the lamp post

Pinkbella12 1 year ago

This tickled me. I shave all the time but have stopped recently. My husband likes it shaved simetimes. I am guessing bc oral is better but he also likes the hair too. I just hate it. I can’t stand hair. I have the boils and hair bumps but hell popping one of them is like getting a wax!!!!

Claudia Mercedes Lynch 1 year ago

Haha! Loved it!

Julie Brown 1 year ago

That was so spot on. I only made it halfway through and never did it again. Lol. Laser is better and not as painful. :)

Jennifer Zubritski Mcdonald 1 year ago

I love Scary Mommy! Too funny, and sometimes oh, so true…..

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

Thank you so much for saying that. You made my day. xoxo

David Brunkhorst 1 year ago

I see a lot of beave hanging out. Just sayin.

Joan Perhaes Crawford 1 year ago

That was hysterical !!!!

Stacey Teeple 1 year ago

OMG!!! Your comment is way too funny. LMAO

Elizabeth Weiner 1 year ago

ROTHFLMAO!

Yvonne Artho 1 year ago

this is the funniest thing I have read in quite a while…reminded me of my first wax…and it was only my legs…lol

Destiny Garza 1 year ago

sick

Mia Lujan 1 year ago

Omg lmao :)

Ken Jolley 1 year ago

Me neither.

Charlotte K. Datre 1 year ago

Interesting

Lorie J. Davenport Smith 1 year ago

Roflmao

Kelley Donovan LaGrone 1 year ago

I knew this had to be a comedian writing this it is too funny

Michelle Giese Ridl 1 year ago

I think you’re looking way too deep at her story! She’s a great writer who expressed herself with such humor that I fully believe she embraces her own sexuality quite openly and honestly. I’m not sure who told you that pubic hair has “grown obsolete in modern day and age”. You are obviously passionate about whatever you feel your selling but the rest of us think her story was wonderfully honest, heartfelt, and definitely showed complete ownership of her own feminism.

Have a glass of wine and relax!

Char Przybylek 1 year ago

Hilarious! OMG!

La Turca Kairuz 1 year ago

Hahahahahahhaha

Andrea Cooke 1 year ago

I could hardly read this through my tears of laughter!

Moira Hepton 1 year ago

Awesome!

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

This might be one of my favorite comments. :-)

Katie Cortez Shaver 1 year ago

Hahahaha hilarious!

Lisa Handley Sully 1 year ago

Woof woof

Leigh Davis Merz 1 year ago

So I’m crying over here… Lmao

Leigh Davis Merz 1 year ago

Lmao too freaking funny

Tarra Jo Cushing 1 year ago

I have never and will never

Jennifer Brower 1 year ago

Me too I go every 4 weeks….I’m scared to go any longer than that because I don’t ever want it to be like the first time.

Rita A. 1 year ago

I used to be a waxing pro, I could easily overlook the lady telling me to “get on all fours, like a dog” and all the other awkward moments that come with getting your potato waxed. I actually loved getting my potato waxed.. until I got the waxing nazi who obsessed over an apparent ingrown hair sooooo much she removed plenty of skin in the crease between my potato & leg. I couldn’t wear panties for at least 5 days because the pain was unbearable. I stick to shaving now.

Laura Carew 1 year ago

I am weak at this article :’D

Nichole Reigle 1 year ago

haha, not even a Dothraki would ravage me!

Nichole Reigle 1 year ago

almost spit out my lunch, n

Beth Moran Mehling 1 year ago

I read part of this to Joel yesterday. He didn’t understand.

Melody rowling 1 year ago

FUNNY SHIT- made my day! Can’t wait to tell my friend!!!!

Vicki Rosenberg-Frazer 1 year ago

Omg. Lol

Nicole Clark 1 year ago

That is hilarious!

Happily Ever After 1 year ago

Couldn’t help but laugh so hard at the silent swearing we women are very good at at moments like that. Like when your soccer shoe wearing son runs by over your bare foot and your toe nail lifts up. You know the drill. OK…Back to shaving. I’m married for almost 30 years and we are still like college kids in bed. We even have four kids. Trick is…no waxing is needed. Just shave it all. Trust me, remember how you cut yourself shaving your legs the first few time and now you can nail it in 2 minutes or less. Same thing with your pelvic. Yes, first time, trim super short!! Then shave. Go slow at first. But eventually it really gets easy. Be patient. And yes, you will get horney since you can climax much easier without all the hair in the way. Horray. Girls, that’s the sweet ticket. You will be happier. Next, your man will love it, stretch marks and all, since you made the effort for him. Plus men are so visual. The longer you have it all clean, the more you will ask yourself why didn’t I always do that. Good luck and have fun!!!!

Shannon Moore 1 year ago

i did it only once while i was pregnant (didn’t know yet) and it left bruises in my groin area. never again

Roshni 1 year ago

OMG!!! I’m so glad I clicked over to read this!! This is awesomeness!!!

Kay L. Krueger 1 year ago

I loved it!

Sharon Brown 1 year ago

Very funny

Katie Shelton Young 1 year ago

Ikr!!!! Still smirking

Jorge Muniz 1 year ago

This is why you have to come to my shop NICKS , best shave you ever had by a Cuban Cigar man!

Ronda Skaggs Thomas 1 year ago

Ashley Thomas Brandi Thomas

Cathy Brault 1 year ago

I am still crying from laughing so hard.

Ronda Skaggs Thomas 1 year ago

Laughing so hard reading this! My 15 year old son is wondering what I’m reading as I’m crying tears of laughter!

Ann Abler 1 year ago

Pubes are in the air…
I just wrote a post on this very serious subject matter, and how waxing can make you look like you went bareback riding in a sand-paper bikini:
http://bit.ly/pubes-wax-on-wax-off

Thanks for sharing your personal story. You are a pube pioneer! :)

Michele 1 year ago

Absolutely the funniest blog post I have ever read!

Greg Hunt 1 year ago

That was indeed funny.

Perri 1 year ago

I’ve been getting waxed for years. It all depends on where you go and the products you use. I’m very prone to ingrowns but I get horrible razor burn no matter what I do so I get waxed and use an exfoliant that was recommended by my waxer. Also the horniness settles down once you get used to it

Janie White 1 year ago

BAHAHAHA!! Never had one and probably won’t now! It was a good laugh though!

Amanda Knudson 1 year ago

That bush tho… O.o

Judy Hagan 1 year ago

Hahahahahahaha ‘HARDER!’

Al Sproxton 1 year ago

Guys you have to read this, it is written so you have to laugh, but feel her pain?

Billmo Gaudet 1 year ago

I tried letting my hub wax me, not for sexy, but because o couldn’t reach, he screamed more than I did…so yeah…I ended up with one side of my woman part…waxed…the other still growing strong…never again

Marta 1 year ago

Oh God, don’t if you have even remotely sensitive skin. That shit burns!

South Dakota Girl 1 year ago

I had several done shortly after we were married, but I had to drive 2 hrs to the nearest town to get one done. So I took note of what type of warmer, wax, and strips were being used to remove the hair and bought them from Sally’s Beauty. I showed my husband how to apply the wax and rip the strip off on my legs and then I had him wax my hoo ha (of course I had to describe how the technician did some areas). He now does it every 4 weeks and it’s much cheaper. Pop a Tylenol about a half hour prior and start sipping some wine. The wine makes it MUCH more tolerable! I also wax his back and they do make wax for sensitive skin and that is what we have to use on his back.

Brooke Wondra 1 year ago

So not alone there.. every day, I MUST!!

Jenn Ellis 1 year ago

I personally like them for reason #2 but this post had me laughing to the point of tears!!!!

Flavia Rizza 1 year ago

I have waxed my bikini area for more than 20 years. I can read a book while they do the job without even blinking… Love it!!!

Megan Ashley-vasquez 1 year ago

Yikes. Never had a wax.except. eyebrows and that’s bad enough

Dominique Gibson 1 year ago

The story she writes is hilarious!!!

Sunshine Medina 1 year ago

“Time became meaningless.” Seriously crying reading this…..so true and so funny.

Reluctant Mom 1 year ago

I received my first full body wax — because I was too embarrassed to tell the waxing person to stop. When she asked what I wanted done I said “what ever you suggest” ….. I was left with my eyebrows. And that is all.

I just thought if I lay there quietly and let her do what ever she wanted, the pain and humiliation would end without me having to ask or answer anything.

I have been going back to her for about three years and we follow the same routine every time.

Karen 1 year ago

I too have only had one Brazilian and I shall never ever repeat it! Seriously why why why why and WTF WHY

Crystal Hardin 1 year ago

LMBO!

Sandra Wink 1 year ago

This story is hilarious !

Susana Lopez Heredia 1 year ago

The tears came down my cheeks. Very funny!

Paula Hensley 1 year ago

Best read ever! I can’t quit laughing!! Thanks for all those great comments!!

Denyse Brown 1 year ago

OMG did you watch any of the Mrs. Brown episodes that tagged the above story??? We laughed and cried even harder!

Nazma Muhammad-Rosado 1 year ago

LoL, hilarious!!

Beth Meyer 1 year ago

Funny but I am a huge fan of Brazillian wax. I have it done as much as possible.

Stacy Sanford 1 year ago
Phoenix 1 year ago

Am so glad I missed out on the hairlessness craze. Being old isn’t so bad.

Jen L. 1 year ago

Yep, its nice til the ingrown hairs start! NEVER again! Sticking with my Schick Intuition Sensitive (only razor I have found that doesn’t give me razor burn) and enjoying my smooth skin that is free of ingrown hairs.

Samantha 1 year ago

I don’t think this is a funny article at all. I am in my early twenties and was a professional bikini waxer for nearly three years. You have no idea how sad it is to have women come in, just like you, and be embarrassed of their bodies. This is exactly what your article boils down to whether you realize it or not. You list your “hidden” stretch marks as a main reason that you’ll never get another wax. Clearly your husband loved it and your sex life took a very positive turn (how can something this wonderful be overlooked!?). However, you are terrified of your body after doing the most beautiful thing a woman can do, sacrifice her body for her children. I don’t think your husband of how many years would mind seeing stretch marks being that you carried and delivered his children. Only you mind and perhaps you need to love yourself as much as he does. You also list constant “horniness” as a problem. I am baffled. Something that ignites passion in your relationship after what I assume was a very typical vanilla sex life is in no way a bad thing. Take some pride in your feminine sexuality and the amazing power of desiring the man you married. I realize that this is a very long rant; however, after so many years of meeting women just like you I find it so frustrating that you are unable to let go and enjoy your womanhood for all of the pros and cons without thinking of modesty or that a huge bush hides your flaws. The only reason that you should “never get a Brazilian again” should have been the ingrown hairs. period. Not that you hate your body and your sexuality. It sends a terrible message to those of us from a younger generation that our accepting our bodies and our sexuality as empowering and positive things. A wax is a wax and it only enhances how you feel on the inside.

Elizabeth Shirley 1 year ago

Post care is the clients responsibility. I’m sure all the friction from the sex is what caused most of the ingrowns. People act like brazilians aren’t supposed to be painful or something. Your ripping your pubic hair out!

Denyse Brown 1 year ago

Laughing so hard I am crying!

Jo 1 year ago

While an amusing article, as a waxer who specialises in intimate waxing for men and women your waxer’s technique is horrendous and I’m not surprised you don’t want to go back to her and it pees me off idiots like her put people off visiting true professionals :( Jo, Hot Wax Lincs, Lincolnshire, UK

Andra Adams 1 year ago

Hahahaha!

Samantha Nicole 1 year ago

I’m sorry, but listing “constant horniness” as a negative aspect of getting a wax is a completely archaic way of looking at female sexuality. Pubic hair is not meant to be a chastity belt that tames our sexual desires. It is a physiological mechanism designed for health and hygiene that has grown obsolete in modern day and age. If you cannot take pride in your own feminine sexuality and the stretch marks of doing the most selfless thing a woman can do; sacrificing her body to carry and deliver her children, then I frankly feel sorry for you. If you and your husband looked at your stretch marks in any type of “horrified” way, it seems like an extremely superficial way to view over a decade of marriage and the blessing of healthy happy children. I’m in my early twenties and am grateful to come from a different generation of how I view my body, my gender, and my sexuality.

Meredith Swierczynski 1 year ago

hysterical! The first time I was waxed I thought I was going to pass out after… I was sweating for hours after, it was crazy. I couldn’t stop shaking… however, after the initial experience, I continued going because I hate to shave! :)

Charlotte Jones 1 year ago

This was funny lmao

Sarah McKee 1 year ago

Hahaha! Hilarious!!!

Vicki Lesage 1 year ago

I recommend laser hair removal. It’s a bitch for a few sessions but then you’re done for life. Though I guess you couldn’t pursue your art if you permanently alter your canvas, and I’m an avid supporter the arts.

Crystal Gant 1 year ago

This is hilarious, but IMHO I think this is over dramatizing the whole waxing experience. Yes, it is a little uncomfortable and yes, it does hurt (it hurts less and less the more you wax)… I think getting my eyebrows threaded hurts more. Don’t be scared.

Holly 1 year ago

Waxing has the same ingrown hair issue for me…but, I have to ask…and I am being serious…

Do you use stencils? An eyebrow trimmer? How do you get shapes???!!!

90% of the time I end up fully shaved because I can’t even get the “landing strip” straight.

But, I am pretty sure he would enjoy the hell out of some creative shapes!

Thanks for being brave and sharing your story!

Alicia 1 year ago

I started getting bikini waxes several months ago and I would NEVER go back to shaving! I like being smooth with just that little landing strip left, and it lasts so much longer than shaving. I don’t think the pain is that bad, but everyone has a different pain tolerance. The trick to not getting ingrown hairs is exfoliating every other day. And you HAVE to keep up with this – when I get lazy and don’t exfoliate, then I start itching.

KCJ 1 year ago

Omg! LMAOOL Kelly you made my morning as a domestic goddess even more enjoyable. Whew had to wipe a few tears away. Love it! Can’t wait to see what your next piece will be. Thanks.

Mayra Thompson 1 year ago

Hilarious!!! I love it!!

Maria Flessner 1 year ago

Again?

Ben Lewis 1 year ago

OMG! So funny! I got a bit of a shock at the end thinking I knew the wonderful writer of this article Kelly Fox-Laporte.
This is something you’d have a laugh at Leah Lewis.

Jennifer Johnston 1 year ago

This is some funny shit! 😉

George Moorachian 1 year ago

Viviana Paredes, I can only reflect on my wife’s trials and tribulations. And as a result, I’m aware of better options.

Debbie Hurtado 1 year ago

Something funny finally. Ingrowns suck!

Heather 1 year ago

This is one of the funniest, laugh-out-loud posts I’ve ever read! Thank you! haha

Im usually completely shaved, but have NEVER waxed….waxing is SCARY! lol

Melanie D. Fenwick Thompson 1 year ago

She is a great writer; light and doesn’t take herself too serious!!!

George Moorachian 1 year ago

Laser?

Michelle Morelli De Ridder 1 year ago

Omg! Hahaha!! You kill me!

Amanda Richards 1 year ago

This sounds like something you would write Heather Hopkins Hahaha

Amber Harmon Justice 1 year ago

Baaahahaha! Sooo Em…now all I keep visualizing is this GI-normously, HUGE BUSH & it is cracking me up right now! I literally didn’t know that those even existed anymore?!!! LOL 😀

Katie Arra Northrop 1 year ago

Holy shi$balls that was funny.

Michelle 1 year ago

You do know you have to exfoliate daily after a Brazilian? You don’t get ingrown hairs that way. \

Thea 1 year ago

I did a bikini wax before going on vacation for my 1 year anniversary (9 years ago now), the hubbster and I agreed. He’d shave his chest and back and I’d get a bikini wax. I can’t remember if I cried after but I’m sure I thought about it. Promptly got home and told hubby that I didn’t care if he liked it or not, no way in hell was I ever doing that again. And he still had to shave his chest and back that year. I can’t even fathom how much a brazilian would hurt.

Deidre Morgan 1 year ago

I do my own brazilians with an Emjoy. I really doesn’t hurt that much & you get used to the feeling!

John 1 year ago

The oral is nicer, and it looks clean and inviting. Additionally, the feeling of sliding into a smooth, slick, warm woman is akin to receiving oral. Simply an amazing sensation.

TJ 1 year ago

I would wax and shave and have the same issues. Ingrown hairs everywhere. DH loves it. Skin on skin without all the course hair feeling like a scouring pad while we rubbed against each other. I finally decided that the ingrown hairs were too much. And in comes the laser hair removal. While in the clinic I decided hell if I’m going to get rid of pubic hair why not just make the rest of my shower routine easier as well. Now I have no arm pit hair, leg hair or pubic hair….well except for the thin blonde hairs the laser can’t get. As far as the pain I take the laser over the wax anyday. As far as the libido goes. I just feel more confident that I’m always ready to go without any “hold on I have to go to the lady’s room to freshen up” and then procede to remove any excess wild bits.

Allie Maronelli 1 year ago

Wow! Funny as hell and so glad I found out about this NOT the hard way! And, I must say, it’s also quite disturbing to read a comment next to a photo of a preschooler. Ladies, seriously, stop using your kids as your profile photo at least when making a brazillian comment!

Dana Hatcher Bix 1 year ago

My OB/GYN actually says they’re a bad idea. Her exact words were, “I’m a big fan of vuvular hair. It’s there for a reason.” I died laughing.

Kristen Lovett 1 year ago

Classic!

Amber Leigh Carrell 1 year ago

I am also part Italian (thank you Nanny) and my BFF says it looks like I am smuggling Chewbacca in my panties (if I don’t tend to it). :)

Katrina 1 year ago

OMG if I were ever considering doing this….NO WAY am I doing it now! Ouch. I’m the mom of ten. I think my hooha has endured enough. No need to push it over the edge.

Emily 1 year ago

I have been getting brazilians done for a very long time, and I promise the itching and regrowth part get better over time (hair gets thinner, you know what to expect, etc.) Also, ingrown hairs with a Brazilian are VERY normal. My aestatician suggested using an exfoliating scrub with salicyclic acid (doesn’t have to be expensive – St. Ives apricot scrub works great, in fact I use the Target up&up brand). This works well to prevent and get rid of ingrown hairs. I even scrub my butt too for good measure. Why not?!

Francoise Lemaitre 1 year ago

Hysterical!!! Reminded me of my first (and only) time!!! Still laughing!!!!!

Alison Wehlow 1 year ago

Oh my god, that made me laugh till I nearly cried….

Pamela Barnaby 1 year ago

It’s really not that bad. I’ve had it done a number of times.

Melissa Eddy 1 year ago

I have none of those problems, I occasionally get an ingrown but I pluck it and if you exfoliate they are minimal. Poor lady must have just had a bad run, I’m a mum of 2 and still no dramas and had 2 csection and still looks fine down there haha

Josie Trlin-Liedl 1 year ago

Omg just laughed so loud I woke the baby!!

Lucille Elizabeth 1 year ago

Haha..sooo funny x

Monique Brown 1 year ago

Love it! Lol

Flc Aroma 1 year ago

Best writen piece ever!! Laughed so hard

Rebecca Lane Fitzgerald 1 year ago

Too damn funny. Giggling and crying at the same time reading this!!

Kerrie Short 1 year ago

That is gold…

Bev Holstein 1 year ago

Funny lol

Lacey Boyle 1 year ago

That’s bloody hilarious..

Elane Strittmather Mattmuller 1 year ago

WARNING: Almost chocked to death from laughing, while trying to be quiet, while reading this in bed next to snoring husband at 5:20 AM). Hysterically funny. Loved it!♥️

Anne-Marie McFarlane 1 year ago

The funniest thing I’ve read in ages!

Kristen Mason 1 year ago

Aw! Your technician forgot to explain after-care! Simple exfoliation and occasional powdering if needed would have avoided that horrible end result! I’m an esthetician and instructor, and I’ve seen it all through the years! Very well written, quite funny, and a good example of what people go through! I may just share this with my students! :)

Jennifer MsKitten Reid 1 year ago

PMSL!!!

Lucy Cocks 1 year ago

I tried a diy brazilan once!! Only got half done,not quite the affect I was going for but it certainly was a talking point!!

Michelle Lange 1 year ago

yeah… ouch….. nothanks. way too sensitive down there… Not even gonna try because sure as hell i will suffer….

Angie Warner 1 year ago

I had huge giant swollen blood blister type bruises the day before I left for vacay! Went to one of those “painless” wax places. LIES!

Gill Montgomery 1 year ago

That was a funny and entertaining read!

Mandy Engelbrecht 1 year ago

never done it, never going to do it lol
chemo gave me a totally hairless look sans waxing pain, but the other side-effects are not great lol

kay 1 year ago

I would never wax down there. But I definitely do shave completely when I shower. Having any hair down there makes me feel gross and uncomfortable lol

Rob Sander 1 year ago

Lol funny

Bruna Cirelli Aanestad 1 year ago

PS: don’t ever diy it!

Bruna Cirelli Aanestad 1 year ago

Lol this is hilarious! I’m Brazilian and I guarantee that what I see in most Brazilian waxes in the US aren’t really Brazilian at ALL.. They’re more like Turkish (brazilians don’t wax it all out!). However, we do wax a lot of the hair. And it feels sooooo good afterwards. And it won’t hurt nearly as bad next time – it just gets easier. I promise lol.

sevena 1 year ago

Lmao! ! Hahaha

Kirsty Boughton 1 year ago

I like this part ‘HOLYMOTHEROFUCKINGSHITBALLSMOTHERFUCKER’ had 2read it twice cuz that’s exactly how I felt n violence 2wds the technician. Never again lolx

Teresa 1 year ago

Hilarious!! Laughed so hard I cried cuz it brought back so many nightmares, um I mean memories.
Sugaring is the way to go. Less ingrowns than with waxing. It is a natural product, not hot like wax, no strips needed, only sticks to the hair and not your skin, pull hair in direction of growth, less reactions. But your first brazillian will still hurt like a mother, yikes. Maintenance is much more easily tolerated lol.

Pat Balan 1 year ago

I was literally laughing out loud with this story!!

Lorraine Wells 1 year ago

It’s so u, an the chainsaw comment omg lol, I was laughing out loud catie goes what’s funny mum uummm nothing lol

Theresa MacRae 1 year ago

I can relate to the breathing too that was soooo god dam funny & yes I could see myself

Lorraine Wells 1 year ago

I luv the bit I was hoping for a massage or a cigarette lmao an thought of u straight away

Tabby Callaway 1 year ago

That’s the funniest story I’ve ever heard.

BernaArmel Abalos 1 year ago

Lmao! 😉 #Gotta love her honesty! ; )

Bex Dengate 1 year ago

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

Thank you! And the chili pepper was AWESOME! xoxo

Elizabeth Murray-Hunt 1 year ago

LMBO….try finding out afterwards and on your wedding day that you are in fact allergic to the wax. So much fun!

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

“Viva la Bush” should be our new slogan!

Jaell01 1 year ago

I am trying my best not to wake the entire house “Laughing My ASS Off!!!!!

Amy Hildenbrandt Rogers 1 year ago

Hilarity!

O’Shea Cara 1 year ago

Lol!!!!!!!!

Lori Brighton 1 year ago

Omg, I haven’t laughed this much in a long time! Thanks for the read and apparently for the warning. I will def. not be trying this anytime soon.

Sara Lynch Cox 1 year ago

I wouldn’t have the balls, (metaphorically speaking) to let someone wax me down there anyway. Call me a prude or whatever, but a stranger between my legs is not my idea of fun, Now back in my younger days maybe….just kidding!

Jacob Gina Martinez 1 year ago

Seriously?? It’s really not that bad!! 😉

Miiss Tiiana 1 year ago

Omfg I am dyyyiiinnnggg!! This was too funny!!

Sara Lynch Cox 1 year ago

And yes I shave my pits & legs, but I’ve never had an infection from doing either of those things..I have from shaving my genital area, which is why ‘I’ chose to keep some hair on that area. I was also told by my gyno that douching isn’t good either because it washes away all your bodies good bacteria & allows the bad to flourish. My comments were not meant to call anyone out for choosing to go bald or liking it, I was only stating why ‘I’ don’t like it

Deb Choulock-Singer 1 year ago

Disturbingly hilarious

Juliet Lamontagne 1 year ago

That was holy crap bust out loud laughing good, thanks for posting!!!

Amber Jacques 1 year ago

You can keep your bush, and I will keep my wax Brandy!!!

Krista Welty 1 year ago

This had me in tears. So funny

Sunny Umlauf 1 year ago

That is hilarious!!!!!!!

Tiffany Draby 1 year ago

Lmao! I’m dying!

Cynthia Gomez 1 year ago

I couldn’t stop laughing! And I couldn’t help but to think of you! But wasn’t brave enough to tag you!!

Laci D. 1 year ago

That was so funny!!! It’s not that bad though!!! Lol

Nicole Eichman 1 year ago

This was hilarious!! Laughed so hard!

Audrey Bixler 1 year ago

That was great! Reinforces my desire to never do this to myself.

M 1 year ago

Oh my gosh I almost peed myself reading this! If you ever attempt to do it again, exfoliate your skin there very well and it should help with some of the ingrown hairs. I know it reduced mine to one or two instead of the billion I had the first time :)

Monica Wilson 1 year ago

Omg I can’t breathe I’m laughing soo hard. Hilarious!

Emily Xavier 1 year ago

I am dying, can’t stop laughing. Too funny!

Britt R. Alcisto 1 year ago

That was hella funny! Its only coz she dont have our serum tho! Lol

Aussa Lorens 1 year ago

Oh my gosh, Kelly you kill me. So funny. If I were a Dothraki, I would totally ravage you.

TashaNa Gagne 1 year ago

This is one of the best stories I’ve read!! Hahaha. Made me laugh. Hope the chilli pepper worked out!

Angela Springer Brents 1 year ago

Bwhahahahahaha so true! This is sooo damn funny. Patricia Mendez, you gotta read this too. Wendy Walker Raper, Bwhahahahhaha read it.

Angelika Harwood 1 year ago

I almost peed in my pants reading this funny as heck lol!!!

Melissa Donahue Schrager 1 year ago

Exfoliate and there will be no ingrowns

Jessica Ramirez 1 year ago

Lol…that was hilarious:)

Kendra Breci 1 year ago

Lmao it gets easier and with the right products ingrown wont be a problem …you also learn its worth the pain to not have “stubble” lol

Kara Willis 1 year ago

LMAO OMG!

Sophie Dudley Camarri 1 year ago

That’s so hilarious! I’ve never been game to have a go – just the agony of a prune is bad enough let alone having velcro in your undies!

lisa 1 year ago

I can NOT see through my tears from laughter! You hit the nail on the head. My mons has been given the name ‘chewie’….yes, as in Chewbacca. I let this s### grow past 2 weeks and I can braid it real tight and bead the ends. In addition, as the obsessed ER RN I am, I will poke at my in growns….for hours….looking like a curious orangutan all crouched up in the corner, using a hand mirror to get a better angle.

Nessa 1 year ago

*waxer. .. fucking auto correct. ..

Kate Palmer 1 year ago

Absolutely hilarious however laser is such a better option IMHO.

Carly Price 1 year ago

This is hilarious! Yikes! Lmao!

Nessa 1 year ago

The best thing to do about ingrown hairs is to gently exfoliate the area. Or go back to your water and have her take care if them for you. After the first time, the pain goes down a lot! And then after a while, your amount of ingrowns will almost go away completely. DON’T GIVE UP!

Karah Putman Davis 1 year ago

So needed this laugh! Too funny!

Carrie Davis Segura 1 year ago

Hilarious….id nvr do it. I dont get what the thing is about women wanting to look like they havent hit puberty and the men who like it just seem a bit pedophilish to me. I keep mine manicured and under control. Thats good enough.

Alicia Robbins Marley 1 year ago

Lmao!!

Elisa Nunez 1 year ago

Omg this is so funny!!!!

Carly Blount 1 year ago

Omg! Dying of laughter! Good read! !

Traci Mae VanBuskirk Watts 1 year ago

Haha!

Jennifer Pope 1 year ago

I never laughed so hard. Been there.

Annette Jo 1 year ago

I laughed so hard I cried!!! When I was in cosmetology school I told this lady I could wax her lip ( my 1st time) I didn’t hold her lip down and I almost pulled it up over her head! Thank goodness she was still drunk from the night before

Magan Laczny 1 year ago

Lmao!! I didn’t want one before and I’m as sure as shit not getting one EVER!!

Jen Hunstad Grosland 1 year ago

OMG!!! I laughed my ass off!!

Aj 1 year ago

I laughed so hard I cried!!! Thx for the info, I’ll stick to shaving!

Barbara Magruder 1 year ago

Too funny …but I understand…my guy prefers hair free ..so its shaving , veet or nair bikini cream. At the beginning of our intimate episodes I otdered a NoNo to take care of this but was actually afraid to use it down there so back it went. The things we do for love !!!

Kate Knudson 1 year ago

Um. This has never happened to me.

Marcy 1 year ago

I have to say I laughed so hard I had to run to pee…..Awe come on…when it starts to itch apply lots of cream!!!! I have shaved most of the hair (but never waxed it….. that is suicide!!)….I think it’s very sexy…my husband loved it!!…..

tracy2 1 year ago

I use the Nair Brazillian. Love it. No pain. Although you will still have to deal with issues of being horney all the time. It works fantasticly!

Megan Squire 1 year ago

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. Would love to share but not sure if anyone would get offended

Abbie Lamkey 1 year ago

ha ha ha…sorry for your pain but that post had me laughing so hard I almost cried.

Mimi Noel Devey 1 year ago

Hilarious! !

Theresa Goings 1 year ago

The wax isn’t a big deal… it’s the regrowth that hurts n itch like a mofo. .. she nailed it. :)

Kelley Curl 1 year ago

I’m an Esthetician and thought this blog was absolutely hilarious! But, if she had gone to an experienced waxer the pain could have been considerably less, and would have been told that it was HER job to exfoliate to prevent ingrown hairs. Also I tell all my first timers that I wouldn’t have any repeat clients if they didn’t trust me when I say the second time is easy peasy!

Lisa West 1 year ago

Sugaring might be better.

Jennifer Mills 1 year ago

Roflmfaooooo

Sarah Dorsey 1 year ago

So needed that laugh

Denee 1 year ago

After the first one the second wax is not nearly so bad. The key is exfoliating well as your hair grows back in. I also use chlorhexidine wash right after the wax to keep from getting a rash. All of those open pores attract the germs. But I like it for reason number 2!!

Karen Wingo Cole 1 year ago

In the words of Jimmy Fallon, “Eeeeooowww!”

Letticia Anna Ruiz-Tijerina 1 year ago

LOLOLOLOLOL !!!

Lindsay Michelli May 1 year ago

Lmao, all true statements

jennifer 1 year ago

Oh, and don’t forget the swolloen jabba looking like thing that my hubby unwrapped in gorgeous lingerie packaging

Brandi Vega 1 year ago

I work for european wax center and if u use the ingrown hair serium and were givin the proper instructions it can be a great thing

Mariana Mendoza 1 year ago

Omg, I’m dead! Lmao

Lisa Julien-Hayes 1 year ago

I can’t breathe! My ribs hurt too much! Freakin hilarious!!!!

Brandon Davis 1 year ago

I do it all the time holly it’s not that bad

Jacinda Dobbs Ralls 1 year ago

Lmao!!

Cristina Alvarez Sanchez 1 year ago

laughed, and laughed, and laughed….loved it… :)

Joanne Ambrose 1 year ago

pretty funny Billi, reminds me of some people whose toes curl. lol

Tiffany Sayre 1 year ago

Never experienced this and never planned to before reading the article. Now I know 1000% for sure I will never do this! Sounds awful and not worth it at all!

Kara DeWitz Mires 1 year ago

Hilarious! Thank you for sharing!

Colleen Hansen 1 year ago

Omg I am too old for this shit the comments are hilarious tho

Tricia Beck 1 year ago

So funny. I was laughing so hard I could barely finish the story! Made my day!

Rhonda Burnett-Vela 1 year ago

Omg!! I laughed so hard I cried! It is sooo true.

Robyn Emde 1 year ago

Hahahah

Fiona Emma Lock 1 year ago

Funniest thing I’ve read in ages
Absolutely spot on
Thanks for the belly larf

Natasha Stanley 1 year ago

Lmfao!! So funny!!

Katy Elizabeth Bliss 1 year ago

This was so damn funny. I cannot do it either. Everything grows back so fast and so wrong that i get all of those things that happened to you. You are not alone.

Dana Wilson 1 year ago

That was funny as hell. Lol

Megan 1 year ago

I get Brazilian’s done all the time and EVERYONE is prone to ingrown hairs. I mean think about it, the skin down there isn’t as tight and the hair is curly. Perfect recipe for an ingrown. Exfoliating is a must in that area especially when the hair starts to grow back.

Kristina Windle-Ferguson 1 year ago

That was a hilarious read!

Melanie Sonnier 1 year ago

Lmao. It was not this bad for me as I have a very high pain tolerance but yeah, not worth it and will never do it again. Amanda Mezo Stauffer

Beverly Centalonza 1 year ago

I just want to say thank you for the best laugh I’ve had in I can’t remember when, with tears running down my face I’m still laughing!!!

Lisa Plummer-Leppado 1 year ago

Funny!!!

Jeremy Wade Huttunen 1 year ago

Oh yes I am howling….now I have to make my lady get one!

Sarah LeighAnna Smith-Gonzalez 1 year ago

Wow I must be dull and boring cause I didnt find this very funny. It was kind of juvenile. .I guess? Idk hysterical is not at all a word I’d use

Elizabeth Rohr 1 year ago

love it!

Chris Shaw Mitchell 1 year ago

Oh my Gosh! I am trying not to wake up my husband laughing! I could not do it! My lip was waxed by accident once while getting my eye brows waxed(new foreign women at the salon/day spa I used), she apparently did not understand no thank you when she asked wax lip?

Jessica Sirois 1 year ago

So so accurate!

Krystal Price 1 year ago

I’m glad u read this. Was thinking about trying it, now, I don’t think I will

Lori McClellan Wood 1 year ago

Tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard!!!!!!

Kathy Cannady 1 year ago

Hysterical!!!

Tephra 1 year ago

I can’t speak for all guys, I have seen my share of hairy women, and clean women, but while down there, I have found stuff, Kleenex, rolled up balls of stuff.

And tthe smell, ugh. I don’t care how much you wash it, I can smell it, not to mention having to spit out hairs…

Clean shaven if like eating watermelon , hairy is the same but it first fell in the hay and I have to eat around it.

Next time your at the food court look for the guy with the beard, that’s what wee see when doing what you want.

Debbie Dunlap-Merlo 1 year ago

Lmao! Hilarious!

Adina Clow 1 year ago

Wow, I’ve never waxed my vag but I’ve always shaved it… Completely. Am I the only one? I absolutely HATE body hair and feel it’s disgusting. But I’ll use a razor over getting a wax any day.

Sheri Johnson 1 year ago

Laughed til I cried!!

Heather Nunn Sanford 1 year ago

Hysterical!

Paige Polk 1 year ago

Lmfao!!! Did it once and that was one time too many!

Lisa Bertolasio Pogacnik 1 year ago

Hilarious !

Rose Mary Wilson 1 year ago

If you don’t laugh out loud reading this then something is wrong somewhere

Lisa 1 year ago

OMG! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that A). is horny as hell when I clean up down there, and B). Get ingrown hairs in bad, bad places

Maria Angueira O’Sullivan 1 year ago

Lmaooooo!!!!

sarcasmica 1 year ago

omg. LOL! the regrowth is the worst!

Lena Lynn Lloyd 1 year ago

Omg!!!

Leann Hamilton 1 year ago

This is hilarious! !

Rebecca Carvalho 1 year ago

Laughed so hard I cried! And it’s funny because it’s true! Yet I still go back! Lol

Kayte Doggett 1 year ago

I have a coworker who attempted this right before her wedding. She got halfway through and couldn’t handle the pain. When she told us at the office (we are a small office and totally inappropriate) we all laughed hysterically. I came home and told my husband and he couldn’t stop laughing either. He asked if she had a hitler mustache on her hoo haa.

Fawn Danae 1 year ago

Ha ha, I cannot stand hair on my hoo ha at all. Been clean shaven for years

Cecilia Ortiz Estrada 1 year ago

Lol too funny

SaeMi Kim 1 year ago

Omg I piss myself laughing.

Ashley J S Greenblatt 1 year ago

This is hilarious!!! Laughing my ass off

Alison Harris Singerhouse 1 year ago

Never do it yourself. Always pay someone with a lot of experience!

Rachel Yates 1 year ago

Omg I laughed so hard!

Abby Nespeco Denby 1 year ago

Hahahahaha hysterical!

Elisabeth McWilliams 1 year ago

I get them all the time. I will NEVER EVER shave again. Doesn’t even hurt now since I’m so used to it…

Lacey McGuire 1 year ago

Omg I died rofl.

Andrea Sedia Amodeo 1 year ago

Funny stuff here!

Ruby Evelyn Hernandez 1 year ago

Freaking hilarious!!!

Rebecca Chase 1 year ago

This is hilarious! Thank you!!!

Sheri Trager Weiss 1 year ago

Lol!!

Angela Bono-Loudermilk 1 year ago

OMG hilarious!

Tara Choate 1 year ago

Bahahahaha! This is amazing!

Trang Nguyen 1 year ago

Lmao!!! Tx for this :)

Jessica Moore 1 year ago
Stefanie Andrasz Bradley 1 year ago

I’ve had several & the trick is to exfoliate to stop the ingrown hairs, but yes, when u do get them down there they are very painful

Cindy L. Elliott 1 year ago

Hillarious

Susan 1 year ago

my husband and I will be married for 18 yrs in less than a week.. I just read this to him and we had to stop a few times because we were laughing so hard. I can relate somewhat but have never had a Brazilian and don’t plan to. Thanks for the belly laughs, I really needed them tonite

Georgie Goldstein 1 year ago

OMG that was hilarious!

Joann Hatch LaBarge 1 year ago

Funny!,,

Talissa Cruz 1 year ago

Lmfaoooooo!!!!

Michelle Masterson Ferguson 1 year ago

Yes. This is freaking hilarious

Krista Klett 1 year ago

Ugh. Got a MRSA infection from a bikini wax once. NEVER AGAIN!

Nicole Miller 1 year ago

Oh my gosh my husband is wondering what the heck is funny as I read this, thanks for sharing!

Tracie Ann Stiers 1 year ago

Ok, I laughed pretty hard at this. Number 2, totally right. #3: maybe I’m not that hairy, but a little exfoliant and it was just fine!

Monica 1 year ago

so I had my first bikini wax when I was about eight months pregnant. no one told me (except for the waxing lady right before she tore off my ladybits) that your skin is more sensitive in that area during pregnancy. holybatshit that hurt. it’s just not for the weak of heart. I will NEVER do it again. I think I cried.

Angela Barnhart 1 year ago

This cracked me up!

V 1 year ago

I am so sorry that the Brazilian did not work out for you

Dillard E. Rogers 1 year ago

TMI!!! LOL

Molly Hixon 1 year ago

Sooooo damn funny!

Linda Sherer-Horton 1 year ago

ROFLMAO!!

Justine Frame 1 year ago

So friggen hilarious!! Jenny , Georgina , Bobbie , Sophie , get a giggle from this!

Tara Rowe 1 year ago

Funniest read ever!!!!! Lmao

Chloé Jacinto 1 year ago

Omg this is hilarious.

Catt McMasters 1 year ago

I had an Gyn tell me that waxing actually increases your risk of female cancers…there is a reason that hair is there and it is to keep things out

Sher Morrison 1 year ago

Laughed my ass off. Oh my gosh that’s some funny sh*t!

Heather Mann Taylor 1 year ago

I haven’t read this yet and am laughing so hard over the picture…hahahahaha

Mary Scott 1 year ago

Oh dear. Made me laugh really hard!!!

Erin Murphy Reed 1 year ago

That’s fantastic. And SOOOO true

Emily 1 year ago

OMG!! Best laugh I’ve had all week! Made me cry and pee my pants! Will definitely be following you from here on out! Thanks for oversharing because that shit is F-U-N-N-Y!!!!

Amber 1 year ago

I love getting waxed. After a while the hair grows back so thin and sparse… it doesn’t even hurt anymore! Also, using a Salicylic acid-based cream or gel after waxing helps stop red bumps and ingrown hairs, and you have to lightly exfoliate as well.

Shauna Correia 1 year ago

Lazer. Hair. Removal.

Autumn Jones 1 year ago

vajazzle!

Sara Lynch Cox 1 year ago

I’ve never understand why men even want their woman to be hairless to begin with. We were MEANT to have hair for a reason. Besides it making us look like little girls, which I find very strange that grown men find that attractive, (strange as in a little pedophilish) it can also leave us more susceptible to infections or STDs like herpes. I’m all about grooming the area so I don’t look like Chewbacca, but i don’t see keeping it completely bald. I’m not going through that kind of agony for a man..child birth is enough! I guess it’s different strokes for different folks, but if a man isn’t attracted to the way I look down there because I keep it the way NATURE intended, the problem is his not mine, & I’ll just give it to someone who does like it : ) y’all know what the problem is don’t ya? Watching too much porn has ruined men’s expectations of women!

Cindy Herdt 1 year ago

So. Funny.

Adena Cohen-Bearak 1 year ago

Lmao and crying

Julie Dawson Peterson 1 year ago

That is funny shit!

Summer 1 year ago

http://youtu.be/rcoreV10hI8

It’s not spam! I hope it works!
Map of Tasmania is a slang term for a woman’s pubic hair, because it somewhat resembles the shape of Tasmania when in its natural full grown state.

Dawn Varner Bhullar 1 year ago

I am laughing so hard..!!!!!

Colleen Spies 1 year ago

this. was. amazing.

Amber Nicole Senn Skaggs 1 year ago

Ideal Image

Corey Dana Wade 1 year ago

Amazing article. Great writing.

Jennifer West 1 year ago

Hahahaha this is great! I’ve never had a Brazilian wax and don’t think I ever will!

Lina Vitamia Shaaf 1 year ago

Lol This was great!

Mandy Arnold 1 year ago

OMG! this was SO FREAKING FUNNY, but SO true.

Joey Horvath McCutcheon 1 year ago

Funny!

Wanda Lee Medina 1 year ago

Jajajajaja I can relate I still remember my first wax session!!!!! Suffice to say I stick to the shavers

Maritza Orozco-Ramos 1 year ago
Melissa Zanone 1 year ago

HAHAHAHAH!

Maeve Rhuad 1 year ago

Omg hilarious!!! I don’t think the pain is that bad, but the itching and the ingrown hairs – yes! That’s some rea shit. I don’t care how much exfoliating one does or the creams they use, some of us gals will not be able to prevent it entirely. Oh and how about that plucked chicken look for a day or two? Not sexy…

Ida Centineo Cortes 1 year ago

Hysterical piece!

Shannon Pittman 1 year ago

Crying with laughter! Can’t breathe, hilarious!!

Sasha Buttars 1 year ago

Lol! Laughing so hard!

Irene Joy Sapon 1 year ago

“holymotherofuckingshitballsmotherfucker!!” hahaha!!! i just lost it!

Marie Elena Margiore Silva 1 year ago

Lol

Brittany Johnson Rearden 1 year ago

My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!!!

Emily Killam 1 year ago

Ha ha too funny

Melissa Colman 1 year ago

Hilarious

Brenda Moravek 1 year ago

So hilarious I’m laughing my pubic hair off

Tara Fishel Adams 1 year ago

Best laugh of my day!

Katie De Oliveira Anderson 1 year ago

I’m Brazilian and I absolutely love brazilian wax, and do it for years!! still hurts a LOT but is very, very worth it!!

Katie Weigandt Shyamsunder 1 year ago

This is too funny.

Rosemarie Furnari 1 year ago

I think she’s stretching this out just a little bit. It doesn’t hurt that bad

Amanda Mella 1 year ago

Bahahaha love it

Britt Bomstad-Pattison 1 year ago

I have never laughed so hard!!!!!!

Christi Poor 1 year ago

Love this and needed that laugh!!! I do laser hair removal……not Brazilian. Full leg and bikini, best money I have ever spent!!!

Karen Tucker 1 year ago

Funny shit

Jennifer Bonti 1 year ago

Just get laser hair removal!

Isabel Perez 1 year ago

I laughed so friggen much it hirt to breathe afterward! Awesome! I needed that soooooo much!

Christi Poor 1 year ago

Exfoliating is a must after waxing!!

Sarah Fritz-Maldonado 1 year ago

Lmfao

Rachel Davies 1 year ago

Last one I got was when I was preg. Bloody hurt and couldn’t even see it.

Audrey Laricchia Selnick 1 year ago

Clearly she went to the wrong place. I even went 2 days before my due date and it was painless.

Renee Power 1 year ago

OMG hilarious

Ninjette Turtle 1 year ago

Lololol. Fuck all tht

Barbara Nicole Spray 1 year ago

I never have lol but this was hilarious

Shannon Arias Wysocki 1 year ago

Good to know!

Kat Murphy 1 year ago

Yup, men MUST show us how it is done first…LMBO.

Alexia Pinney 1 year ago

I have never laughed this much is so long,,, huge fan Kelly!!!!

Amee Collins Drahos 1 year ago

Hilarious

Michelle Harwood Dero 1 year ago

Best.Story.Ever!! I’ve waxed before, but never had a Brazilian!

Kim Smith Clarke 1 year ago

My husband and I are crying tears of laughter! I will not be getting hooha wax EVER!

Susie Simms 1 year ago

This is soooo funny!

Georgia McCroskey 1 year ago

Exfoliate!

Codi Mulvany 1 year ago

F-ing dying! Bahahahahahaha your next with the “art” hahahaha

Allison Smith Killins 1 year ago

Apples and oranges. Itchy hoo-ha is not really comparable. Wait….never mind….

Amy Haga 1 year ago

Lmfao

Renee Choate 1 year ago

They are not as bad as she says if you go to the right place

Sidney Bostock 1 year ago

Did u read it? It’s hilarious!

Beck Wilkinson 1 year ago

Pain pain pain. Especially when pregnant.ughh .

Naomi Dwyer 1 year ago

OMG Brittany! LMAO!!!

Chris Prizzi Krajnyak 1 year ago

Too true and too funny…

Liz Cuesta Fraga 1 year ago

I know bit wasn’t pleasant but holy hell. I laughed so much at this post I think I peed a little.

Allison Smith Killins 1 year ago

If it wasn’t supposed to be there, it wouldn’t grow there..I got one wax in my life and give me c-section scars any day. I’m not saying that you need to be a cave woman, but there has to be a happy medium. If he’s into that get him to go first…problem solves

Holly Walton 1 year ago

This was the funniest thing I read all day. I used to get my eyebrows waxed pretty regularly, until “the incident”. That was enough to convince me that wax was not for me. Screw brazilians!

Mary Wallace 1 year ago

Lol

Wendy Lynn Wright 1 year ago

Wow. This i did once. Wasn’t that bad.

Amy Johnson 1 year ago

Hysterical!!

Maggie Jones 1 year ago

“You’re a redhead? I better get band aids before we start.”

Karla Hernandez 1 year ago

Lol
Took bad about the ingrowns:/

Kim Hastings 1 year ago

This made me LOL…….

Danielle Sheppard 1 year ago

That’s hilarious! Bahahaha!

Linda Latimer 1 year ago

This is why laser hair removal is out there!!! Just saying…..

Redeana Lobaugh Kerby 1 year ago

Oh that was perfect! Lmao!

Carie Hiyak 1 year ago

Funny story, but it’s really not that bad!

Vera Taylor 1 year ago

Hella funny!!

Sarah Mayer 1 year ago

This is one of the funniest articles I’ve read in a long time!

Kelli Fox 1 year ago

From one Kelli to another thank you!! I needed this laugh so much. You have the same personality as me.

Jessica Long 1 year ago

Lol, this was awesome! Thanks for sharing

Michelle Gillhouse 1 year ago

This is funny as hell! Lol

Eileen Cruz 1 year ago

LMFAO!

Val Broome 1 year ago

Lmao, hilarious !

Shannon Conley Savoy 1 year ago

Hilarious!!!

Sumi Mitchell Onodera 1 year ago

Oh my gosh!

Jos Pena 1 year ago

Lmao! I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!

Sharon Madrid 1 year ago

Oops autocorrect! Lol. Freaking hilarious! Rachel Stanton

Lien Hai Dinh 1 year ago

Oh my god!!! I’ve laughed so hard!!!!!

Cheri Goodman 1 year ago

I’m dying here. Laughing so hard I got tears.

Andrea Bruch 1 year ago

That is one of the funniest stories EVER!!!!!!!!

Jo N Guy Lezius 1 year ago

Shit that is hilarious!!!

Mary Ann Byrd Martin 1 year ago

This is stinkin hilarious!!!!

Stacie Jordan 1 year ago

Hahahahahahahaha!

Michelle Gillhouse 1 year ago

Bahahaha

Anne Cerullo 1 year ago

Shave it..

Nicole Ticknor 1 year ago

Never did it. Never will but good lord this is funny!

Kristina Lawson -Watkins 1 year ago

lmao!

Doris Phillips 1 year ago

Too funny!

Becca George-Martinez 1 year ago

Brazilians are a piece of cake…seriously… The laser is what about damn near killed me. Why yes, a high heat laser within millimeters of your c**t is super comfortable. Not Julie !

Michelle Blomeley Ellen 1 year ago

And shaving ur beard is a pain because???? Daniel Shorty Hantler

Geraldine Kenney 1 year ago

Funny

Amy Buckwalter 1 year ago

Holy hell no. If cry lol

A’Leigh Hamner 1 year ago

So sorry for the horrible experience bit thank you for the warning.

Reneé Berry 1 year ago

I wax more often in the summertime about every four weeks the first time that I ever waxed I have to take Tylenol before the waxing for the pain & also the second time too, but now 5 yrs later it comes easy no more need for drugs

Andrea Carroll 1 year ago

Lol, never had one but now I think I will pass

Carla Lemmon-Massel 1 year ago

Lmfao this made me laugh so effin hard!!!

Lauren K. Masseron 1 year ago

I have not laughed this hard in forever. Thank you for posting!

Tanya Wright 1 year ago

Hilarious

Angelina Roberts Semak 1 year ago

Lmbo!!! Still laughing!

Joy 1 year ago

HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for the honesty and of course, the tips! I will remember this for the rest of my life!

Elizabeth Myers 1 year ago

Oh my lord, I needed that laugh tonight!!

Linda Ault Davis 1 year ago

Omg. This is hilarious.

Kristy Edwards 1 year ago

Nope…never had one, and don’t see the need to EVER get one….especially now LOL

Kasey Loden 1 year ago

It’s really not that bad…5 mins, 10 mins top. If you can birth a child, you can get a wax.

Kay DiPace 1 year ago

Try doing it yourself, the first time. Was also my last time as well. :)

Chassity Lim 1 year ago

Funny shit!

Heather Judah 1 year ago

Laughing out loud!

Laura Watts 1 year ago

Lol… That was hilarious!! I’ve never had a Brazilian and never will now… I was reading this with my 3 year old daughter next to me trying to think of something to tell her when she asked what was funny!!!

Spring Hohenwald 1 year ago

Let’s bedazzle lol

Wendy Richards 1 year ago

OMG…I’m laughing like crazy over here!

Michelle Royer Kleist 1 year ago

Snorting too!!!

Dee Dee Kohl 1 year ago

F’ng dying laughing. I tried the at home. Absolutely the most incredibly stupid thing I’ve ever done. EVER. My husband called 20 mins after I started to see how it went. I was soaking wet with sweat and had the first strip half stuck on and on the verge of tears….and possibly fainting. It got worse but I’m just not going there today. That day I believe I died a little inside(and outside).

Jennifer Vizcarra 1 year ago

ROFLMAO!!!! Oh, I feel her pain!

Crystal b 1 year ago

Oh em gee! I was laughing so hard while reading this.. so I like to look at scary mommy while I’m nursing my 11mo old to sleep and I was laughing really hard but quietly while he was eating but my body was shaking from the laughter so much that he stopped nursing and started laughing too.. seriously.. haha I haven’t laughed that good at this then at him in a while! Great post!

Brandy Lopez Barbee 1 year ago

Noooooo!!!

Tashina Dunham-Demet 1 year ago

OMG lmao :) so are we doing this or just bedazzle our shit! Lol

Helen Russo 1 year ago

NOOOOO! I waxed my legs. Once. that was enough to learn to leave more delicate areas ALONE!

Shannon Doran 1 year ago

Oh funny!.

Brandy Lopez Barbee 1 year ago

Um… No.

Kylie Vehi Hehea 1 year ago

Hillarious!! Been there done that!! Sounds all too familiar!! Lol

Stephanie Schleicher 1 year ago

Yep, it only takes one time – she didn’t mention having to pull your butt cheeks apart so ALL areas were waxed – horrible!

Tiffany 1 year ago

I think it’s because the skin is exposed to the elements (panties mostly) so it gets stimulated inadvertantly. I know I am constantly horny when I’m all shaved down there. I let it grow out for a bit per DH’s request for a change (we are young so his experience has always been with hair-free chicks and porn) and I noticed a big change in my sex drive going down. As far as why a man would want it you are right on about the oral, but I would also say it’s often just interesting to see a body part surface under the hair. Personally I prefer DH well trimmed up in the pubic area, though fully shaved isn’t necessary. It’s all personal preference though, thankfully

Kelly Klatt Caughlan 1 year ago

OMG. Seriously funny! Thank you. Kathy Slife and Jodi Hofacker this is a must read!

Jennifer Cruz 1 year ago

Hilarious

Kate Maroney 1 year ago

Lmbo!!!!

Conclusively Candor 1 year ago

i really needed a laugh and am grateful I got to read this

Andrea Kelly Briggeman 1 year ago

I do it every 8 weeks or so. It gets way easier the more you have it done. The first couple are a tough go though. I don’t find I get horny though, so, good for you?? And jeez, I’m a redhead with pretty sensitive skin!

Pqueña Traviesa 1 year ago

LoL hilarious

Dina Silverstein 1 year ago

Oh myyyy Lmfao!!!

Nicole Asacker Colegrove 1 year ago

I’m cackling! Too funny!

Margarette Beierly-Joe 1 year ago

lmao!

Danielle 1 year ago

I have done it a few times, and have never had a problem… The woman I see uses sugar wax though, which does not rip the skin off like hot wax does. That is where most of the pain lies. Afterward, the technician suggested an ingrown hair foam (similar to a chemical peel for your hoo-hah) to apply once daily until the hair grew back in. I Overall a pleasant experience, and both hubby and I were particularly satisfied with the results!

Paige Parsons 1 year ago

I’ll keep my lady garden, thanks! :)

Hellen Mamede 1 year ago

Hahahaha

Hellen Mamede 1 year ago

Lol!!!!
I’m Brazilian… I do it every month…

Tegan Agustin 1 year ago

I love getting brazilian waxes. It’s very calming & relaxing for me. It’s how I pamper myself lol

Kristin Butterfield 1 year ago

OK Renee Stinnett Benge not every woman is the same !! But I’m sure a lot …I stress a lotttt of ladies have this issue let’s be natural .. (with trimming and shapes .) Of corse …but really bald !!?. OK no thanks it’s not worth the pain to look like a pre pubescent pre teen her sex life was great before so now she spoke out .

Rachel Monique Lopez 1 year ago

Lol silly story

Sylver Nyx 1 year ago

I am dying laughing at this. Omg

Mariana Mendez 1 year ago

hilarious is right. I litteraly laughed out loud.

Rosalinde 1 year ago

OMFG … I can’t even finish reading it to my husband, I’m laughing so hard I’m literally crying!!! He would like me to get one before we go to Jamaica, but I’m thinking … nah .. had my bikini done once … LONG ago and NEVER again … too painful … thanks for the good laugh … sorry for the pain though …

Erica Abel 1 year ago

I just died from laughter. Thank you!

Katie Vight 1 year ago

Bahahhahhhaha

Lorraine Neil 1 year ago

It was a two different places. I learned hard wax is the only one that works for me but I learned to pluck my own anyway.

Brittany Reyes 1 year ago

Lmao I’m so glad someone else felt the way I did. I silently thought ” death must be close” with every wax strip! Though I only cried silent tears, she stopped because she said I was in too much pain, so I left in pain and looking patchy :'((

Joleigh Seabrook 1 year ago

Exfoliate exfoliate exfoliate!! Ps, best frickin thing I’ve read in a long time!!

Brooklyn Francescone 1 year ago

lmfao fuuunnnny ok ill stay away from brazillians!

Jill Hoover 1 year ago

I’ve had them. Not too bad. I too am quite forest like down there and eh it lasts a looooong time for me. Much better than shaving. Shaving and I’m prickly by the 24 hr mark. Waxing and I can go 4-6 weeks

Rachel Greene 1 year ago

Your technician sucks! The wax is too hot if that’s happening

Beckii Faith 1 year ago

Mine too haha im an esthetician and one of my fellow estis waxed me and i almost punched her in the face haha

Kenzi Kirchhoff 1 year ago

lmfao.. this made me laugh!

Sandie Snoopy 1 year ago

Geez, it’s not that bad lol

Evelyn Kearse 1 year ago

Bahahahaha… great story. I got them done all the time until I git pregnant, I never itch, never had a problem but once I got pregnant the itch from hell began so is postponed until further notice, and I can’t wait. The “clean” feeling in priceless!

Debby Fisher 1 year ago

BAH HA HA HA HA HA!!

Dawn Brower 1 year ago

I had a Brazilian wax one time and OMG, I bruised so bad that it looked like I had hickeys all on my jay-jay! Ouch!

Shelly Dobyns 1 year ago

I wax every 4 weeks!! It gets easier and good waxing places offer creams to help with ingrown hairs and to help make the hair grow back slower. I love it and am so glad I started lol

Lori Stoffers 1 year ago

That was pretty much what I said my first and only time! Lol!

Raina Mullen-Kerry 1 year ago

Hahaha!

Angie Howard 1 year ago

I got the giggles with this!!!

Pamela Ray 1 year ago

Hilarious!!!!

Kristine Ferrara 1 year ago

That was hilarious!!!!

Kimberly Russo 1 year ago

Highly sensitive area. I’ll stick with shaving

Marie Plueger 1 year ago

Hahaha hahaha hahaha! Thanks I needed that with all the bad going on in the world today. Hilarious!

Krystal Farnsworth 1 year ago

Haha omg this just made my night I laughed so hard!

Meghan Cummings 1 year ago

Bikini zone hair remover is amazing… btw :-)

Carol Ann Mosior 1 year ago

Too funny! !!!!!!

Jackie Einsig 1 year ago

Lol

Vanessa Lane 1 year ago

HMMM…I might have to try Veet.

Veeck 1 year ago

Its funny, because I’ve had almost the opposite experi

Catie Foster 1 year ago

I read the headline and thought it was some sort of bacterial plague. Oh thank God I was wrong! :-)

tanisha 1 year ago

I have done Brazilian waxing and I love it!!! If you exfoliate twice a day it doesn’t itch and you shouldn’t get ingrown hairs but you have to be religious about this or you get really uncomfortable!

Vanessa Lane 1 year ago

Nooooooo! That would probably me me if I ever tried it!

Lisa Jones 1 year ago

Omg

Carolina Darcie 1 year ago

Iam a Brazilian. I dont wax. But this is a fever here. Its horrible. Everybody looks like a child. Blergh!!!!! Never more!!!

Sheri Decker Dawson 1 year ago

Dying of laughter!

Lorraine Neil 1 year ago

I’ve had my top layer of skin removed TWICE from getting my eyebrows waxed. No way I’m letting someone down south!!!

Kerri Fitzgerald Leary 1 year ago

This was the cure to my depression over what’s going on in the world today!

Meagan Barnes 1 year ago

Omg a Chili pepper!

Chantelle Esteb Morris 1 year ago

Hahaha!! True. I endure this at the beginning of every summer :)

Shellywinelover 1 year ago

I get a Brazilian wax every 4 weeks. Have done so for about 2 years. The type of wax that is used makes all the difference in the world when it comes to the level if discomfort.
I started this when I started dating again in the event I would decide to “put out”. Ended up liking how clean I felt. Especially while on my cycle. So I do this for me regardless of my dating status.
Leg waxing on the other hand is the most painful thing I have purposely had done. You can’t pay me to have it done!

Caitlin Marshall 1 year ago

I never have gotten one. I shave clean all the time. I like the clean shaven feel down there and so does my man.

Linda Languirand 1 year ago

I peed a little

Lorraine Mc Garry 1 year ago

Lmao

Kimberly Tison 1 year ago

This is funny

Julie Hareng 1 year ago

That is hilarious and yes it is that bad!!!!!

Gaby Kunz 1 year ago

I just peed a little lmao

Nicole Butler 1 year ago

Buahahah. snorted laughing.

Jenifer Jenkinson 1 year ago

Lmao!! That was great!!

Beth Burris 1 year ago

Haha haha

Alison Doyle Miller 1 year ago

Oh my god I laughed so hard when I read this!! Sooo true!

Amanda Jackson 1 year ago

Bahahahah this was my EXACT experience and I’ve never had another one thank u for sharing these things……let’s me know I’m not a freak. Or at least not the only freak. 😉

Britt Berry 1 year ago

Hilarious!

Jessica Janes 1 year ago

Twice. First time with strip wax was so painful I saw stars and actually cried. Second time with hard wax did not hurt one bit. Could not believe the difference.

Heather Childress 1 year ago

There’s a new soy based wax, it works amazing and no burning, yes there’s still a bit of ouch but not near the amount as before!

Renee Stinnett Benge 1 year ago

It’s not that bad. Wimps. Lol. It’s a little uncomfortable. Geez. We are women, we can endure anything.

Amy Pecore 1 year ago

Thanks. I really needed a laugh tonight.

Ashlee Villines 1 year ago

It’s all about the hard wax. One pull and done lol.

Amanda Moore Tieaskie 1 year ago

bwahahahahahha!!!

Kate Teitelman Miller 1 year ago

Hysterical

Mandy Ruckman 1 year ago

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Leslie Christin 1 year ago

So funny!!

Shannon Willett 1 year ago

Lmao

Jennifer Clark Jones 1 year ago

Yikes! I actually used Nair years ago, but holy shit that stuff burns, turns out I was allergic to that….. So ya, I feel ya on the allergic reactions. :(

Sherry DeMott 1 year ago

Laughing so hard I am crying

Kim Brown 1 year ago

Hilarious and yep that pretty much seals the deal for me !

Ashley Ronning 1 year ago

Omg. Dying! So hilariously written!!

Jenn Mabe 1 year ago

Lmfao!!!!

Tammy Williams 1 year ago

So funny!

Ashley Pawley-Krywko 1 year ago

lmao.

Belinda Heys 1 year ago

Omg! I’m dying! This is so true! But I still wax. It’s hot!:)

Vicci B. Chuc 1 year ago

OMG this is the funniest thing I have ever read!!!!! Seriously hilarious, couldn’t stop laughing

Felicia Morro 1 year ago

Funniest article I’ve ever read. I’m crying!

Allison Bean Taylor 1 year ago

I had my first (and only) a few days before my wedding. Unfortunately I had a terrible reaction to the wax, lots of red bumps. .

Brittney Clark 1 year ago

Got a Brazilian one time and it was the last time!! Hell no

Emely Angel Gonzalez 1 year ago

Hahahaahahaha!!!! It gets better with time!!!

Ashley Brown 1 year ago

Literally snorted out loud lmao!!!

Michelle Lyons 1 year ago

Omg! Lmao

Jennifer Fair 1 year ago

Lmao!!!!

Sasha Alexandria Ashcraft 1 year ago

It’s not that bad but this was hilarious

Dot Brey Fulks 1 year ago

Hilarious!!

Denise Nimons Tadduni 1 year ago

Lmao!!!!!!!

Shasta May 1 year ago

Haha

Christina Bedway Sipe 1 year ago

LOL!

Gail Greig 1 year ago

exfoliate as the hair starts to grow back, it helps remove the dead skin from the surface, which can trap and encourage ingrown hair. :) Also, the more often you get waxed (in whatever location) the lighter and finer the hair grows back and therefore the less it hurts when it is yanked out. :) I don’t do brazilians anymore, unless by special request of my partner, because I don’t like the pre-pubescent girl look, but I used to when I modeled and the exfoliating really does make a huge difference in how many bumps you get as things come back in.

Tina Gillotti Stys 1 year ago

That was the funniest shit!

Pam Soulier Weiler 1 year ago

Too funny! I laughed until I cried! sorry…

Peta Baldwin 1 year ago

This is priceless!

Kelly Beninghove 1 year ago

Bahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! Crying laughing…I needed that. Thanks!!

Colleen Morrell 1 year ago

Lol!!! You poor thing. And that was funny as shit.

Ashlee Knoll McCormick 1 year ago

Lol!

Mandy Reed Pelotte 1 year ago

Bwahahahahaha lots of LOLing!!! I became close friends with a bag of frozen peas after my first Brazilian!

Jenn Underwood 1 year ago

Lmao…real shit right there…

Michele Reid 1 year ago

I never had and my goods DO NOT look like a 70s porno. Yeesh!

Nom DePlume 1 year ago

Never have, never will – but am still crying tears of laughter. Pity? Relief that will never be me? :)

Lori Summers 1 year ago

Hilarious.

Jennifer Clark Jones 1 year ago

Lol, Veet does the job just fine thank you! No yanking required. :)

Merrill Meek Frazier 1 year ago

I had one once. The lady said she would have to charge me extra because it was like waxing a Yorkie.

Valerie Crockett Doeinck 1 year ago

Lmao!!!

Sonia Hall 1 year ago

Hahaha, this is the best!

Mel 1 year ago

Thanks for the report! I’ve never waxed that particular part of me, but given the way leg waxing turns out, I think I’d be a bad candidate too. I will definitely show this to my daughter!

Savi 1 year ago

I attempted to do this with an at home kit while pregnant with my DD. I failed, took off one tiny patch, almost cried, then shaved the rest off. I was freaking out because if I couldn’t handle the pain of waxing how the fuck was I going to give birth without an epidural!? After having her(without an epidural) I convinced myself that I must have been too sensitive while pregnant and it wouldn’t hurt as much while not pregnant….nope. Still hurt like a motherfucker. Never again.

Guinevere 1 year ago

Hilarious! I agree, waxing sucks. Have you thought about laser or IPL as an alternative? Permanent hair reduction and none of the pain. Permanently horny for 40 years maybe?

Foxy Wine Pocket 1 year ago

Thank you so much for having me again! I hope folks can have a good laugh at my expense. 😉

It’s me 1 year ago

This is funny. I’ve never waxed and never wanted to. I do keep myself trim and tidy but I find the hair free trend a little tedious. Maybe I just don’t know the purpose of the trend except to wear skimpy swimsuits, which I don’t so there is no point. I would love to know why being hair free would make someone horny. I would also love to know why a man would like it (being hairfree) so much. Sure it would make oral less icky but if you are trimming already then it shouldn’t be an issue.