Lawmakers Cut Business Hours On Sundays So Wives Can Make Breakfast

North Dakota lawmakers vote down repeal of the state’s “Blue Law” citing incredibly sexist reasons

A long time ago, in a faraway land, men believed a woman’s place was in the home. Her Sunday mornings were spent accordingly, making sure to take care of her husband and entertain the kids instead of doing anything for herself.We sure are glad those days are over.

Except they’re not. Not in North Dakota, at least.

The North Dakota House of Representatives shot down a recent effort to repeal what’s known as the state’s Blue Law, which stops businesses from being open before noon on Sundays. According to Valley News Live, the vote to repeal failed by a thin margin, but that’s not why we’re freaking out. It’s what some lawmakers have to say when defending keeping the archaic law that’s causing us to fly into a rage stroke.

Representative Bernie Satrom, a time traveler from 1952, tells the assembled lawmakers how North Dakota citizens should spend their Sunday mornings. He has a special idea for the womenfolk in particular. “Spending time with your wife, your husband. Making him breakfast, bringing it to him in bed and then after that go take your kids for a walk.”

You heard him, ladies. Chop chop. Ferry the bacon and eggs to your man so he can lounge in bed and then get the kids the fuck out of the house! You don’t want him eating his hand-delivered breakfast amid chaos, right? How about bringing him his pipe and slippers as long as we’re living in a god damn time warp?

Honestly, this is complete bullshit.

Good ol’ Bernie isn’t the only N.D. lawmaker with outdated thoughts on why the state should keep their closing law on the books. Representative Vernon Laning has concerns about the little woman having too much time in a week to lighten her husband’s wallet. “I don’t know about you but my wife has no problem spending everything I earn in 6 and a half days. And I don’t think it hurts at all to have a half day off.”

Hang on, my eye’s twitching.

OK, I’m back. Valley News interviewed a few Fargo residents to see their thoughts on the cave dwellers representing their state, and the reviews are mixed. Sarah Cramer says that until it hit the news, she hadn’t heard how awful the comments truly were, and spoiler alert; she’s not a fan. “It’s frustrating personally because when you know those are the people representing you and you don’t feel like you’re being represented and those kind of backwards ways of thinking are still present, it’s really, it’s upsetting.”

When asked her opinion, Vonnie Flute says, “I don’t see what’s so frustrating about it. If that’s the way they want to live, that’s their choice.” Never mind the fact that a lawmaker can feel that way personally, but not legislate his backward views. When pressed further about whether she thinks their words are degrading, Flute replies,”No, I don’t see why you should.”

For his part, Representative Satrom didn’t respond to a request for comment, but Representative Laning thinks it’s all a bit overblown. He told Valley News he was only trying to be “humorous” and that maybe people are lacking a sense of humor if they didn’t find his words funny. He also says the comments aren’t indicative of how he feels about women or his wife.

This sure has been an odd several months of “I said a thing but that’s not what I meant” in the world of politics, hasn’t it? Trump was recorded saying vile things about women, yet, insists he respects them. And now, other lawmakers are following suit. Jokes are all well and good, but maybe the House floor where you’re voting on laws to govern people isn’t the right venue to sound like a sexist jerk. Even only in jest.

The Blue Law remains, but North Dakota women, instead of waiting on your husband, might we suggest a little Sunday morning Amazon Prime along with a pitcher of mimosas? Just a thought.