I’m going to cut to the chase here: I love me some oral sex. When it comes to pleasuring my lady bits, this is my favorite lane to be in.
But it seems people with a vagina are all over the board on how they feel about cunnilingus. So, when I hear things like, “It just doesn’t do it for me,” or “I can’t get off that way,” I wonder if they’ve tried a little trick known as the Kivin method.
I’m here to help. The ultimate goal with oral sex is to orgasm, obviously. So if you aren’t going to get off while someone is slurping your honeypot as you lie there with a head between your thighs, what’s the fucking point? Am I right?
However, if you knew you’d be headed to O-town in under ten minutes, would you open yourself up (see what I did there?) to the possibility to try some oral loving? I’m thinking yes.
Also, I’m pretty sure the person who is trying to make your lower set of lips smile wants to please you and get the job done. No one likes putting in effort and not seeing their hard work payoff.
If you haven’t heard of the Kivin method of oral sex — which boasts “orgasm in three minutes and 60% of women and people with vaginas experiencing faster and more intense orgasms,” according to Cosmo — pull up a chair and pop some popcorn because you’re going to want in.
I don’t know about you, but I feel the need to drop trou immediately and test this out (you know, for the sake of science and all) even though I can tell you these claims are true for me and my happy vagina. After all, practice makes perfect.
How does it work? Let’s get into it:
The Kivin method has a lot to do with positioning. So, get on your back and get comfortable. Maybe grab your favorite pillow, whatever you need to take this experience in, because it’s a game-changer. Or should I say a vagina-changer?
Now, have your partner come at you from the side. I know, I know, having a head between your thighs, or assuming the 69 position is preferred by many — it seems sexier and well, a bit more committed to getting the job done, but trust me here. Sideways it where it’s at.
Once in the position, we need to see our love button. You’re going to want to spread ’em. By that I mean your legs and your vulva. You or your partner can do this by taking a thumb and finger to open your labia. You need to get to the center of the tootsie pop and this is the best way to do it. We are trying to stimulate the clitoris here and it needs to be front and center, okay?
I’m getting hot under the hood. Anyone else?
Next, your partner can start slowly licking the clitoris from the side. Nicole Buratti, a Certified Pelvic Floor & Diastasis Recti Specialist, tells Scary Mommy that she suggests “Licking the clitoris from the side, so your nose and chin are at a 90 degree angle angle to the belly button.”
Got it? Good, because this is when the juices start to flow. It’s the best way to stimulate the shaft of your precious pearl which is where all the nerve endings are. Have your partner start slow. And please, for the love of orgasms, tell them when they hit your sweet spot.
Even if you aren’t quite ready to explode yet, or they are into teasing you a bit, they should know when they hit it right. A quick “right there, baby,” or a moan will do.
Okay, back to our scheduled lesson:
Buratti adds something important everyone should know, “The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, with two bottom prongs which are hidden behind the labia minora.”
With the Kivin method, as your partner feels the swelling on either side on the vaginal canal, they should continue licking faster in that area.
Again, use your words here. Tell them how good it feels because this can be their cue to add another layer of pleasure, if you wish. I’m here to tell you this last part will take your orgasm from plain-donut status to a donut-filled-with-your favorite-cream status.
Have your partner place a finger (or a few, whatever) on the area between your vagina and anus, or the opening of your anus, and apply light pressure. They will be able to feel your muscles contract as you near orgasm, which is hot as hell.
This road map to an orgasm is so effective for many people with a vagina simply because the positioning and sideways licking stimulates you so much faster than other methods.
But I beg of you, don’t take my word for it — it’s a must-try. And if you’re feeling shy, send your partner this article or print it out and leave it on their pillow. It’s a ride you’ll both enjoy for sure.
A set of cliff notes for those in the back who didn’t hear me:
1. Lie on your back and open your labia.
2. Have your partner stimulate the clitoris from their side.
3. As they feel it fill it swell, they’ll know they are in the right place. Going faster will make you lose your damn mind.
4. Applying light pressure to the anus or perineum will enable them to feel your orgasm coming on and will make your orgasm more intense.
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