A City In Belgium Goes Viral For Its Penis-Shaped Christmas Lights

A City In Belgium Goes Viral For Its Penis-Shaped Christmas Lights


Apparently, when the lights are off, it doesn’t look like a penis — as much

Unfortunately for most of us, hopping a quick plane to Belgium this holiday season is out of the question since the country imposed non-essential travel restrictions from outside the European Union because of the global pandemic. What we’re left with in the U.S. are only images of light-filled streets, the Christmas Market in Brugge, and, oh, and these candle lights shaped like penises.

Sometimes, pictures do speak a thousand words — if those words include peen, wank, member, shaft, pee pee, and ding dong. In the small seaside town of Oudenburg sits no less than 90 “candles” lining the streets that look very much like penises all in a row. The blue and white structures were supposed to resemble candles, but when the lights go on, they look remarkably… not like candles.

Mayor Anthony Dumarey said designers had originally been thinking that candles would be a lovely way to commemorate 2020 but decided at the last minute that a flame was just too cliche. Instead, they replaced it with a blue ball which solidified the penis shape once the “candle” was lit. Cliche never sounded so good.

Dumarey went on to blame the town’s budget and throw the tech department under the penis-shaped bus. “We were on a limited budget, so our technical department designed the illumination by itself,” he told reporters. “In any case, we wanted to move away from the classic flame or candle-themed illumination.”

“Of course, it was not our intention to install Christmas lights that remind people of a penis,” Dumarey also told local newspaper HLN.