15 Signs You're Probably A Mama Llama

by Jorrie Varney
Originally Published: 
A woman in a grey shirt with ear plugs who is holding her baby boy in bed, hugging and smiling with ...

When a woman becomes a mother, it wakes a part of her heart and mind she never knew existed. It doesn’t matter the manner in which her child comes to be hers, once she becomes a mother the light in her heart shines brighter than it ever has before.

The love that is born through motherhood comes from the deepest part of a woman’s heart, and with this love comes an innate desire to protect. Her child is an extension of her own soul. There is nothing she won’t do to provide peace, love, and protection for her child. This is known as the mama phenomenon.

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You’ve likely witnessed the mama phenomenon, when a mother advocates fiercely for her child for any number of reasons. Some call her a mama bear, because mama bears are tough, and take no shit. They are fierce and have no problem showing their teeth when they feel their child is threatened. It doesn’t take much to get a mama bear riled. Mess with her cub, and BOOM, there she is. Mama bears don’t play.

Then, you have the mama llamas, equally as protective, but not so quick to flip the script. Mama llamas watch from a distance, peacefully observing, hoping everyone will find their way. But, when that doesn’t happen, and a mama llama is forced to engage, she will kick you square in your face, because mama llamas don’t have time or energy for your bullshit.

So, which are you? Not sure? Well, allow me to enlighten you. Here are 15 signs you might be a mama llama.

1. You are chill AF most of the time.

Sure, you yell at your kids—who doesn’t? But you let them be kids, because trying to control their every move is not something you have the time (or desire) for.

2. Schedules aren’t really your thing.

Sometimes your kids go to bed at 8, sometimes they go to bed at 10. As long as everyone sleeps at some point, it’s probably fine.

3. Your house is an outright disaster most of the time.

You make no apologies for the state of your house at any time, for any reason. It is what it is.

4. You suck at bake sales.

You have a Pinterest board, and it has a lot of cool shit on it, but you never make any of it. Thank God for Costco.

5. You would rather write a check than hustle fundraiser packages.

Because you know paying $25 for a roll of wrapping paper is BANANAS.

6. You don’t care about screen time.

Every kid has a tablet, or a “peace keeper” as we call them in my house. Yes, you will see my kid on their tablet at our favorite chain restaurant, because I like pasta and quiet dinners.

7. You do your best, and know that’s enough.

You know perfection isn’t possible. You don’t expect it from others, and you don’t expect it from yourself.

8. You let your kids fight their own battles.

You don’t jump in at the first sign of struggle, because you know you won’t always be there to save them. You will show up post-haste if necessary though.

9. You aren’t really social, and you don’t really care.

You would rather be at home watching Netflix, than sharing cocktails with a local mom-group. It’s not that you hate mom groups, it’s just that they’re not really your style. Your style is elastic waist pants and limited social interaction.

10. You roll into the school drop off line like the flaming-hot-mess that you are.

You don’t care what you look like in the school drop-off line, or what falls out of your car when your kids climb out.

11. You let your kids fight with their siblings.

Unless someone is bleeding, you let them sort out their own issues, because you’re not a referee.

12. You are a free-range parent.

You don’t hover. You let your kids do their thing—sometimes they scrape their knees or make bad decisions. But you’re fine with it, it’s how they learn, and kids need to learn to take some risks.

13. Your family regularly eats cereal for dinner.

Lucky Charms on repeat.

14. Your kids dress themselves, and you don’t care if they match.

Freedom of expression is important, and also, it’s less work if they pick out their own clothes.

15. You don’t care what anyone thinks about your parenting style.

You aren’t trying to paint a perfect picture. Your family is real and they are messy. Your kids know they are loved beyond measure, and you will be there for them in all your mama llama glory, whenever they need you.

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