Millennials Are Breaking “Generational Curses” Now That They’re Parents
Parents are throwing out small rules that just don’t make sense for their families, like making kids finish their plates or not allowing the car’s dome light on while driving.
Raising kids today is just not the same as when the boomer generation was knee-deep in parenting. Research has changed the game when it comes to parenting styles, safety regulations, and how certain “rules” or standards that parents from older generations set are just not that serious and can actually have lasting effects.
TikTok user Christal Luster posted the question to parents, asking which “unserious” generational curse they’re breaking. From something as simple as letting their kids have the overhead light on in the car during an evening drive to kids being able to go in and out of the house without the worry of “letting the A/C out,” today’s parents are posting about breaking generational curses their parents had instilled in them now that they have kids of their own.
What is a generational curse?
The term “generational curse” is actually biblical. A generational curse is believed to be passed down from one generation to another “due to rebellion against God.” In TikTok terms, a generational curse is basically a rule or standard that parents from older generations applied in a household that are completely out of touch or truly detrimental to a person later in life.
These types of “curses” are more specific generational rules as opposed to generational cycles, which are negative patterns or traits passed down from one family’s history for several generations until someone decides to break them.
What is the generational curse breaker TikTok trend?
Parents on TikTok are stitching Luster’s original video about breaking unserious generational curses, talking about the weird rules their own parents had for them growing up and how they’re doing the work to change those patterns.
One dad on TikTok, @architectdaddy, stitched Luster’s video, explaining that his son’s day care was having a pizza party. However, parents would need to pay $2 per slice in order for their child to participate.
“Don’t for a second think that my kid is going to be at the little kids table and everyone else is eating a slice of pizza and he’s eating his food from home, even though that’s probably healthier than the slice of pizza,” he said.
He then explains that not only is he going to buy his kid a slice of pizza, but he is also going to buy a second slice for a kid who may not have been able to afford one.
“Because don’t for a second think that I’m gonna be out here giving my kid the best life that I can possibly give him and giving him abundance just so he can spend it on himself. Now dude I’m giving you abundance so out of that abundance you can share. And that’s how it’s done in this family. And we’re proud of that,” he continued with tears in his eyes.
He recognizes that the pizza party is a bit of a “parental guilt cash grab” but he also knows that this kind of stuff is going to continue to happen again and again. This day care pizza party is just a taste of what it means to have money in a society that lets wealthy people thrive while others struggle.
“We all know what’s happening, but the systems are inherently always going to be unfair, and because the systems are always unfair, we’re always going to have to navigate them and keep close our friends and the people that we love. And if the pizza is a teachable moment for that, then $4 is a deal,” he says.
Several users commented on the OP’s video, thanking him for his kind actions and the lesson he’s teaching his son.
“This actually made me cry... as a kid who never got a single slice of pizza and created a lie of ‘oh I just don’t like pizza’. thank you for this,” one user wrote.
What are some generational curse examples?
Another TikTok creator and mom, Jazmyn, also stitched the popular breaking generational curses trend with her own new rules as a millennial parent.
First, she’s not doing food battles with her kids.
“My child does not have to eat all their food,” she says. “If you’re done, you’re done. My parents have pictures of me asleep at the table because they wanted me to finish. I’m not eating all of that.”
“My kid only has to tell me they don’t like something one time. You don’t have to eat it no more. We can find something else. You know how many fruits and vegetables there are? You ain’t got to like that one. It’s OK.”
She also talks about clothing battles with kids and how, as a child, her mom would insist she wear certain clothing at certain times. Now that she’s a parent, she’s flipping the script.
“If I buy my child clothes and they want to wear them tonight, they’re putting them on tonight,” she said. “Have fun. They’re new. Everybody like new stuff.”
“If we’re shopping, and I pick out something for my kid and they say it’s ugly — it’s ugly. End of story. We’re not getting it.”
She references when her mom used to argue with her in the store as a child about whether something would suit her or not, though she insisted she didn’t like it.
“I used to hate when I’d say, ‘Mama, I don’t like that.’ And she’d be like, ‘This cute.’ No, it’s not!”
Several TikTok users commented on Jazmyn’s video with their own generational curses they plan to break.
“Going out to eat with the family; going to people’s homes for a visit if they don’t want to; being made to hug or kiss someone,” one user wrote.
Jazmyn replied, “very much YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE!”
Another commented and praised Jazmyn for giving her kids autonomy at a young age.
“Yes! Teach your kids that it’s ok to have opinions and preferences. They will be better advocates for themselves in adulthood,” they wrote.
While all these generational curses may seem “unserious” on the surface, the work that today’s parents are doing is actually quite significant. Teaching kids about sharing in abundance, practicing listening to your body, having a voice and body autonomy — all of these lessons will not only help to heal an inner child but also make huge difference in their kids lives as they make their way into adulthood.