The Magic Of Getting Your Kid A Gift They Weren’t Expecting

The Christmas I was 11, I was still a big Barbie and baby doll lover, and I remember finally getting my Samantha Parkington American Girl doll after five years of worshipping the Pleasant Company catalogs. I also got a Bitty Baby that year, and I remember a specific line of Barbies that were focused on the arts — one was an actress that I begged for — ending up in my pile. But the Christmas I was 11 was also the year Santa brought me a guitar. A guitar that I didn’t ask for, a guitar I did not know I even wanted.

And I was absolutely delighted.

I have no idea why my parents got me a guitar. When I opened the little golden box under the tree to find two guitar picks inside, I had to ask my parents what they were. I can’t remember if I mentioned wanting to learn an instrument, or if my obsession with being on stage inspired them to pick one out for me.

But for whatever reason, they bought me one — and it was one of my favorite gifts I’ve ever received.

I wish I could say I still played the guitar now, but like other hobbies, it fizzled out as I got older. That guitar from the Christmas I was 11 didn’t become some major turning point of my childhood and turn me into a musical genius (although it is still in the family — I think my dad had it signed by the band members of Kansas at some point). It probably didn’t last in my hobby repertoire past the age of 16, but I still remember it so vividly because it was so surprising. It was the kind of Christmas gift you aren’t expecting at all, the gift you didn’t even know you wanted, and there is so much magic in that.

And that’s why I want you to stop stressing about your kids giving you a list for Christmas.

Of course we want ideas from our kids and of course we want there to be a present under the tree that they’ve been dreaming about, but there is truly something so magical about shopping for your kid without a specific item in mind. It gives you a chance to really think about your kid, what they like and dislike, the behaviors you’ve seen in them, the conversations you’ve had together, the habits they’ve picked up. You aren’t just shopping for a 9-year-old boy or a 12-year-old girl — you’re shopping for your baby.

What do they like? What are some things you’ve noticed catching their eye? What’s a hobby you know they’d love if they just had the tools to get started?

It doesn’t have to be the best gift of all time. It doesn’t have to be a gift they’ll remember forever or one that will change the entire trajectory of their childhood. It can just be a gift that you saw for them — a rock tumbler, a basketball goal, a mood ring — and thought they’d like. Or you can think of gifts that you’d love to do with them together, like board games or outdoor adventures, and go from there. Honestly, thinking about the meaning of a gift and what you want it to bring your kid (entertainment, a brain challenge, family togetherness) can really open your eyes up to the world of gifting possibilities.

Then there’s your own childhood. For my tween daughter’s birthday, I thought about the things I had and cherished at that age, and I suddenly knew a gift to get her: a mood ring. What was something you loved as a kid? Do you remember the year Santa put a glitter body spray in your stocking? Or the year you got a skateboard and had no idea how to use it? Were you obsessed with roller blades or a yo-yo or a pogo stick? Did you spend hours making collages to hang on your wall or love decorating your ceiling in those glow-in-the-dark stars? That kind of magic is absolutely yours to recreate for your kids this year.

And I feel like this is such a fun way to shop as our kids get older, too. Maybe you’re wishing your kid had a craft to do so they’d put their phone down once in a while, or you want to encourage their creativity and expression. There are so many gifts we all look away from because we assume our kids have no interest. Why would they want a sewing kit when they’ve never mentioned it before, right? But do they know it’s an option? Have they ever tried it before? Do you think they’d love it?

Again, get your kid what they asked for this Christmas. But if you’re wishing they wanted watercolors or a puppet theater or a Lego set and you think they’d like it, throw it in your cart, too. There is nothing more delightful than a Christmas surprise, and you might find that you’ve created a whole new hobby and interest for your kid who two days ago said all they wanted was a hoodie.