Military Dad Hilariously Explains His Diaper Bag Organization Strategy

You can tell how frequently someone uses something by the strength of their opinions about it. Bottle-feeding parents know bottles. Baby-wearing parents know carriers. And this TikTok dad knows exactly how he likes his diaper bag.

In a hilarious and relatable video that has gotten almost 500,000 views, a military dad, while driving, presents his very specific case for how to pack the diaper bag to his wife.

Titled, “What it’s like to be a dad,” the TikTok user opens by saying, “All right, check it out. I want things simple in my life. Simple as a diaper bag. I’m like, I’m gonna go buy me a diaper bag. It’s gonna be for a man.”

He then proceeds to authoritatively list what the exact contents of his ideal diaper bag should be:

“One outfit per kid, maybe two per kid. Then I’m gonna have a day’s worth of diapers for one child, a day’s worth of diapers for another child. I’m gonna have a couple of baby foods, one pack of new baby wipes. Maybe a bib or two. That’s called simplicity.”

As he talks, his wife (who seems to be filming the light-hearted rant) laughs in the background.

What happens, you might ask, when the order of the diaper bag is not respected?

This man is here to testify.

“I go on a training op. I come home. I open the damn thing. What do I find? About fifteen sets of clothes. No f*cking baby wipes. We’re missing baby diapers for one of the kids.”

He continues, picking up steam.

“I have spoons in there but no food,” he yells. “And then you take all my plastic containers out and you add glass jars. Who puts glass in a diaper bag? We learned our lesson, didn’t we? When Daddy can’t find the sh*t he needs, so he picks the diaper bag up and dumps it on the floor, assuming everything’s remained the same. But instead, glass jars fall on the floor and shatter into one hundred million different pieces.”

He concludes his case, asking rhetorically, “Why does Mom get mad for f*cking with Dad’s sh*it?”

Judging by her laughter, and his delight in his own rant, both parties recognize that he’s being a little bit ridiculous.

Dads don’t deserve any special attention for doing their share of the childcare, but it’s hard not to love this dad’s rant on a topic that is clearly very dear to him — and how seriously he takes having what he needs for his kids on him at all times.