Grandma Wonders Why It's "Normal" For Grandparents To Travel For Visits

Priorities change when kids are involved. For most parents, the idea of packing up the kids into the car (along with all their crap) and driving long distances (or god forbid, getting on a plane) is basically a nightmare. That’s why most families will ask their parents or other extended family to come over and visit them instead of the other way around. This seems to be a universal understanding.

However, one grandma is wondering why this is the norm, asking if grandparents should be the ones staying put.

“Okay so, here's the debate: families say, ‘Grandma, why don't you come visit us?’ But let's be honest, grandma's house is where the traditions are, the cookies are, and all of the toys are,” TikTok user GrandmaCamp beings.

And we’re off to a bumpy start!

“But if grandma is driving, flying, hauling all the gifts, and packing up her car to come see you, maybe it's time to flip the script. When did it become normal for grandma to pack up all her stuff and come see you? Should the kids pile into the car, bring all their toys, and just go visit grandma? Bring all that love and chaos to her?”

“Because here's the truth, you can't pack up all your grandma camp decorations, traditions, kitchen utensils, yard, all of that stuff to have grandma camp at your house. So tell me, TikTok, should grandma's be the one on the road, or should families pick everything up and drive to her? Respecting her time and her ability to provide everything for the family. And don't hold back, I'm really curious.”

For context, the OP, Grandma Jan, had dedicated her entire TikTok page to helping grandmas plan fun activities for their grandkids. She encourages other grandmas to “be the best Grandma this season!”

Despite her reasoning, TikTok users did not hold back their feelings on this touchy subject.

“Nope. I want Christmas morning in pajamas with my family. I want my traditions. My parents and inlaws (the grandparents) got all of this how they wanted. It’s my turn now,” one user said.

Another joked, “Get your grandma butt on the road”

“Gramma is retired and now has a shit ton of time. Kids and parents have a very finite amount of time off in the holidays that they do not want to spend on the road,” one user said.

“You really think it’s harder to travel as one adult with some toys and cookies than it is for your child to pack up an entire family with babies and/or young children?? If you want time with your family that’s in the trenches you need to make the effort,” another commented.

After receiving a lot of backlash, Grandma Jan, an occupational therapist, made a follow-up video, explaining why she brought up the parent/grandparent travel debate.

She says that her question came after traveling over the weekend, noticing “older grandparents struggling their way through airports carrying their own heavy bags while managing a walker or a plane or a wheelchair, struggling through all on their own with no one to assist.”

“And as an occupational therapist, that actually broke my heart. For the younger, healthier grandparents, of course, travel can be fun, but for the older generation, it can be quite a struggle. And that's when families may need to step in and decide what's safest and most supportive of grandma. And Grandma Camp by Grandma Jan is about having those conversations not making rules. And at the end of the day it's about connection, not distance.”