The first bowel movement after childbirth is no joke. It’s painful and messy and truly harrowing. Why does no one talk about this? One TikTok mom is trying to make the messy reality of postpartum life more mainstream by putting herself (and her husband) on the front lines and in front of the camera, and she’s gone viral doing it.
In the very relatable video, Remington squats over the toilet in her hospital room after taking a stool softener. She enlists the help of her husband, Caleb.
"Ow!" she yells.
“OK, I think you're clean,” Caleb replies, before prepping a maternity pad and a pair of postpartum underwear for his wife.
To head off any negative comments coming her way from showing such a vulnerable yet relatable moment in postpartum motherhood, Remington wrote that she was not ashamed of sharing her first postpartum poop and was thankful her husband was there to help her.
“Before any toxic messages roll through, yes i am fully capable of doing this on my own.. but my husband asked if he can help bc he knows i hate the feeling of being dirty and choose not to wipe due to my tears, inflammation, and comfortability,” she wrote in the video’s caption.
Remington, who’s from Portland, Oregon, continued, noting that she wants moms to know motherhood is more than just quiet moments of cuteness and tons of cuddles.
“Why share this? Bc this is the reality of birth, not just the newborn snuggles. The first visit to the loo can be terrifying. You dont have the adrenaline of pushing out a baby so it can be painful. It can also feel like you’re doing this alone and experiencing these V real feelings by yourself. I promise you, youre not!,” she continued.
For those who think Remington and her husband are attention hungry or sharers, she wants her followers to know that there are people out there who have no idea what childbirth and postpartum life is like. She shares the more unknown, messy moments to help destigmatize the uncomfortable feelings we may have round a postpartum body and normalize post-childbirth bodies.
“We share these intimate moments bc often times, esp as first time birthers, you dont know what to expect or what is normal. THIS IS NORMAL,” she wrote.
“we also want to normalize asking for help. My husband and I pride on being there for one another and push each other to ask and accept help. We are V independent people who are strongwilled, so moments like these bond us in the most special way.”
Thousands of comments rolled in from TikTok users praising Remington for her openness, while also noting how supportive her husbands is for really getting in there to help his wife.
“Men take note this is the support your wife wants, good on you dad! And mom for letting him help 😅” one user wrote.
Another said, “Absolutely love that you shared this. There are so many women that have no idea what to expect or don’t have the support from a spouse. Spouse goals.”
Remington told Today that she posts the messy reality of motherhood to break those B.S.-“You got it, mama!”-superhero-type vibes that all moms have received at one point in their life when they really needed support, a meal, and a g*dd*mn break.
“Women don't have to do everything without help," she said. "Otherwise, we create unwritten expectations that we can do it all and that's when we physically, emotionally and spiritually crash."
“I invite and encourage partners to step up and help,” she added. “(Moms) should be able to hand over some responsibility when it comes to birth and childcare."
As for the commenters who were absolutely aghast at the idea of their partner getting an up close and personal view of their backside, Remington said that she gets it.
“I can understand that struggle,” says Tiffany. “For us, intimacy goes beyond the physical ... I don't blame people for how they feel. The realest parts of life are often stigmatized.”
Caleb said he didn’t think twice about helping his wife out with her first postpartum poop. After all, he did the same for her after the birth of their first daughter in 2021.
“I have a great deal of empathy for what Tiffany went through, and a strong stomach,” he told Today.
Remington has also shared a very real “Day In The Life” video when her second child was just a few days old, as well as a video documenting the passing of a blood clot a few days after coming home from the hospital. These are just a handful of the weird things that happen to a woman’s body after childbirth that seemingly go unmentioned, leaving moms in total confusion and panic over what the hell is happening to their bodies (on top of caring for a days old child).
If more moms were honest about the true pain and grossness that motherhood can be like Remington, we’d all be better off!