Parents Debate Which Bathroom A Dad Should Take His Daughter To

What is it about children out and about with their parent that makes them need a bathroom at the most inopportune time possible. Eventually you learn to laugh about it: it is what it is. But sometimes situations are a little trickier that is typical. For example, when you’re with an “opposite gender” child, which bathroom do you use? And at what point do you let them head into a bathroom alone without you? Recently, Thread user @roxxiunique (we’ll call her Roxi) shared one such story that prompted debate in the comments...

“I was washing my hands in a public women’s restroom when a man yelled out announcing three times, ‘Man coming in. I have to come with my daughter. Sorry!’” she shares. “I thanked him for announcing himself and returned to washing my hands as he quickly went to the closest stall available. An older woman at the next sink gave a disapproving look. I would rather a man accompany his daughter into the women’s bathroom than take her into the men’s bathroom for a number of reasons. Do what you gotta do, dad.”

Now, personally, I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here. Whether the dad wants to bring his daughter into a women’s space or if he has her tag along in the men’s room. For me, it comes down to personal preference and convenience. After all, the child is accompanied and everyone is there to do their business and leave.

But there was some debate.

Most commenters thought the dad did the right thing.

“Men’s bathrooms are disgusting, open urinals with men using them with their dongs out and overall not okay for small children boys or girls,” scoffed one Threads user. “Men can always bring their children into a woman’s bathroom. I’ll fight anyone over that! Keep children safe, period.”

“I don't know why some people have a problem with this. Women’s bathrooms, unlike men' s are more private,” another agreed. “The father wouldn’t be seeing anything. In a men’s bathroom the child would walk in to men exposed. Hello!”

But not everyone agreed.

“Let’s hold space for those who aren’t comfortable with a man entering with his daughter,” suggested one. “You might not have an issue yet your belief doesn’t trump other women in the bathroom nor does it give you the right to invalidate their feelings on it. He also could have asked the women in the bathroom if it was ok to enter and allowed those who objected to finish and leave or he could have asked if the women in the bathroom would assist his daughter. We as women need to stop invalidating other women’s concerns. They are entitled to their own feelings and feeling safe. You nor anyone else gets to override it.”

“No men in a women's room. Highly inappropriate,” grumbled a second.

There were multiple suggestions that the dad should have asked a woman in the bathroom or going into the bathroom to help his child while he waited outside, though those were met with as many folks against the idea of having a stranger help a child with something so intimate. (Or assuming any random woman is going to be happy to sign up for the job.)

Many others (rightly) bemoaned the lack of family or explicitly gender neutral bathroom options.

And others were Team Anything Goes.

“Why does it matter? I have never been in a men’s public restroom where I could see anything private. Guys at the urinal aren’t standing 3 feet back waving their private parts for all to see,” said one. “There’s simply too much silliness over bathrooms. Take your child into whichever is convenient.”

“Sounds like an odd choice. My mom took me to the women’s room— I took my daughters to the men’s room,” shrugged another. “Who gives a crap— why are people so concerned with bathrooms?”

With so many opinions on the “right” answer, it’s a tricky situation for sure. But hopefully we can all come together and recognize that parents are out here trying our best.