bad hair day

Mom Wonders If It’s Okay For A Preschool Teacher To Regularly Redo Her Daughter’s Hair

Some think it’s a nice gesture — this mom is feeling a little judged.

Originally Published: 
preschool child playing while teacher is doing her hair.
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A mom is questioning whether she’s overreacting after bringing up a concern she's having with her daughter's preschool teacher.

Posting to the subreddit "r/parenting" — an online public forum where people vent (or rejoice) about the wild world of being a parent — she wrote, asking for advice about her daughter’s teacher who, she believes, might be overstepping a bit when it comes to her hair.

She explained that when she sends her daughter to school, her preschool teacher redoes her daughter’s hair without asking. While some of her family sees her side of this weird situation, her husband doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Shocker!

In her Reddit post, the mom explained that she will usually send her daughter to preschool with her hair braided or in some sort of updo because her hair is long, curly, and “impossible to brush if left down.”

“The first time [the teacher] redid her hair (pun fully intended) I brushed it off and didn’t think much of it, probably took it out herself or something, but then she wanted a messy bun like mommy so I did, sent her to school and she came back in braids because ‘teacher said it was messy,’” she wrote.

She goes on to explain that she sent her to school in a braid that she had slept in the night before “so some hair was out around her face, but no big deal.”

Turns out, it might have been a “big deal” to her daughter’s preschool teacher because, once again, when her daughter came home from school, her hair was completely down. Allegedly, the teacher told the girl, “Let’s get that hair out of your face.”

“Brushing this girls hair is like pulling teeth, screaming, crying, it hurts before I touch her hair,” the mom explained. “It’s starting to really frustrate me, I take care of her hair. If I was sending her without it fixed that’s one thing, still not okay in my eyes but whatever, I’m not really sure how I should feel? Any advice? Do I say anything to the teacher? Am I overthinking?”

Several Reddit users commented on the thread, noting that they didn’t believe there was any ill intent on the preschool teacher’s side — and that if the daughter isn’t complaining, it’s likely no big deal.

"My daughter often came home last year with a new hairstyle courtesy of the pre-k teacher," one Reddit user wrote. "Those kids play so hard that her hair would get all messed up so the teacher would redo it. I always thought it was sweet."

Another user added, "I really believe you are overthinking this and overreacting. I’d consider it a kindness that your teacher really likes your daughter and is willing to put in that time to make her feel special! If your daughter is okay with it, you should be too."

"My kids come home with different hairstyles all the time. They love the attention from the teacher and honestly, I don’t care," a third user chimed in. "I think it’s sweet that they feel so special when the teacher braids their hair or whatnot."

“Is daughter okay with it? Then it shouldn’t be an issue. Maybe it got messed up during play time or nap time or maybe another child needed their hair fixed for those issues and she felt left out and asked the teacher to help,” one user wrote.

“If daughter is not okay with it, speak with the teacher and see what is going on. I wouldn’t give a single f**k if a teacher paid my kid extra attention in an appropriate way.”

If this hair debacle truly irks the mom, a simple boundary should be put in place — respectfully. It’s likely the teacher means so harm so just a quick chat about keeping her daughter’s hair the way it is when she arrives at school should do the trick.

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