These Letters Between A Mother & Daughter Are Sure To Make You Sob
The two wrote in a notebook back and forth to help disscus their feelings.
Billie Sue, a single mom of two girls, decided over ten years ago that she was going to forego those long, scary parental lectures for something a bit more laid back. She bought a simple composition notebook for her daughter, Avery, and encouraged her daughter to write her letters, ask her questions, and get things off her chest so that the two could understand each other better.
In a world where so many millennials are working through the generational trauma of boomer parents who didn’t really know any better, these letters will heal a tiny bit of that inner child because they’re just so damn sweet.
“Finding the journal my mom and I used to communicate with when i started to struggle with getting my feelings out verbally, and realizing just how incredible she did as a single mom,” TikTok user Avery wrote in text overlay on the video.
The OP then shared photos of several pages of the mother-daughter duo writing back and forth to each other in what appears to be the year 2012.
The first letter read:
“Dear Mommy,
Do you think I’m mean to Dani? Said She went to you one day and said, ‘Mom, Avery is being mean to me’ And you said, ‘She's getting to that age.’ I try to be nice but I can't help it when she does something to annoy me. I know you’re [probably] going to say just ignore her, but..... I CAN’T.”
She then adds, “PS: not in a mean way I [LOVE] U”
Avery’s mom responded later, assuring her daughter that her feelings are valid, noting how proud she is of her and wrote back:
“Avery,
I think it is normal to get annoyed when you are with someone as often as you are with Dani. I just want you to be respectful & not mean, but you don't always have to ‘like’ her — just love her. Always treat people how you want to be treated. I love you so much! I am so proud of you!
Love, mom!”
The letters continue, detailing Avery’s inner thoughts and questions for her mom. Then, her mom writes a question to her daughter that had many TikTok users feeling like they wish they could be adopted by Avery’s mom.
“I want you to be honest with me — promise not to get my feeling hurt. Will you tell me three things I can do better as a mom?” she asks in a letter to Avery.
In another note, her mom simply wrote:
“Dear Avery,
Sometimes, I look at you & can’t believe I created something so beautiful.
Love, Mom.”
Another set of letters details Avery wishing that her parents never divorced, though she’d be okay with her mom getting remarried.
“I wish me+you+dan+dad=were all one, big happy family again. I really miss those days,” Avery wrote to her mom.
Avery’s mom replied with her own feelings on their family’s separation, admitting that, she too, wishes things could have worked out better.
She wrote back, “I have often wished we were together too because I can understand how hard it is to have your mom & dad in different places. Just know that we both love you so much — you truly are the best parts of both of us.”
The letters are so raw and honest, yet filled with so much love and understanding. Thousands upon thousands of TikTok users felt so touched by the letters.
“This healed my inner child and it’s not even my mom. What a beautiful way of parenting. I wish other parents would understand theres different ways,” one user noted.
Another wrote, “All of her entries are so effortlessly wise, thoughtful and loving.”
One user echoed, “Some people really ARE meant to be parents. Damn.”
After the OP’s followers demanded a mom reveal, the two made a follow-up video, detailing their family history as well as why Billie decided to implement the letter-writing system with her daughter.
“I have mommy issues too,” Billie admitted. “I feel all of you, and I did not want kids at all because of my mommy issues. I didn't want to repeat any generational cycles, and I got pregnant accidentally twice. And I think I just decided when I had kids that I wanted to do better.”
As for how the journal idea started, Billie was looking for a way to get deeper with her sensitive daughter without overwhelming her.
“It was a regular thing. I think that Avery was always a little more introverted than her loud mouth sister, and she struggled. She struggled a little more to communicate to me verbally what was happening,” she explained.
“And so I saw the idea somewhere, and we're both writers. We both love to write from the time she was little. She was a writer too. So I knew it would be easier for her to communicate her feelings that way, and it was actually a lot of fun. And I'd forgotten about the journals until she dug them out of the garage.”
Avery added, “She would pass it under my door, and we would leave it under each other's pillows at night. Anytime that I was feeling like I wanted to get something out and I couldn't say it. I also, when I was younger, I really struggled to manage my emotions. So anytime I talked about something that was hurting me, I would just burst out crying and have kind of like a panic attack.”
“I couldn't talk without crying about my feelings. So writing helped and that's kind of why we started it from my perspective.”
Growing up ain’t easy, and sometimes, in those hard, confusing, tumultuous preteen years, kids just don’t know how to get their feelings out properly. Sometimes, sitting down with a parent and talking things out face-to-face feels uncomfortable or confrontational even if it’s not meant to be that way.
Billie Sue’s method seems like a perfectly adaptable, easy, and sure fire way to connect with kids while still maintaining healthy boundaries. Definitely trying this one out.
