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A Mom Gets Real About What She *Thought* She'd Love About Motherhood

And the list is relatable.

Originally Published: 
Comedy writer and mom, Hayley DeRoche, listed off some of the things she thought she’d love as a par...
TikTok / @sadbeige

Before having kids, most parents dream of how magical the experience will be — trips to the park, dance parties in the kitchen, and all the snuggles imaginable. And while, of course, there are truly great perks to being a parent, it’s usually not the stuff we thought would be great. Turns out, the things parents think they’re going to enjoy about raising kids turn out to be the biggest headaches of all.

One mom and comedy writer, Hayley DeRoche, — known from her popular TikTok account @sadbeige — listed off some of the things she thought she’d love as a parent that actually turned out to be the bane of her existence. The video soon went viral with tons of other parents empathizing with her relatable content.

“A list of things I thought I would enjoy as a parent that actually I do not,” she begins. “These are jokes for legal reasons.”

First up, DeRoche admitted that family dinners are not what she thought they’d be before she had kids.

“I thought it would be a lovely bonding experience at the end of the day. Jokes on me because it is not,” she said. “Imagine inviting multiple wild mongoose to your dinner table. They're ravenous, but they are also immediately full because they do not like what has been placed on the table.”

“Also, they have no bones — just flopping right out of those seats. I don't know why you even have seats, honestly. Do you get to enjoy your meal at least? No. No, you don't.”

Next, DeRoche goes in on vacation because, let’s be real, what parent is actually on “vacation” when traveling with kids. You’re just being a parent on a beach or in the mountains.

“Did you know that once you have children, vacations are just ‘trips’? You will be vacating your sanity,” she jokes. “Otherwise all of the normal frustrations of parenting will be coming with you. In fact that's probably the only thing that that gets packed. Got it?”

“You may relax between the hours of 10 and 11 p.m., if you last that long, because you may collapse into your bed prior to that, and honestly, that's great,” she continues. “You're gonna need it.”

You know those adorable family hiking trips you see all over social media of parents with their kids, trotting along a beautiful trail while the little one picks flowers and discovers the magic of nature? DeRoche admits that she doesn’t see the fun in that.

“You know how fast you can move on a trail with a child who does not want to be hiking? Imagine if a glacier thousands of years, millennia millennia, and that glacier is faster than the pace that you will make on this hike,” she says in jest.

“I have had some success with the Hansel and Gretel method where you take some of your trail mix, and you just drop it along behind you and the child will eventually catch up because they want to catch up to the M&Ms. But yeah, otherwise, do not recommend.”

Next up on DeRoche’s list is “reading anything aloud.”

“I do not enjoy reading graphic novels of Dog Man aloud, because it's basically just dialogue. So, it is confusing for everyone involved, including me, frankly. It's just, I don't know, it's not enjoyable,” she admits.

Lastly, parents who once envisioned baking fresh chocolate chip cookies for their kids and homemade cinnamon rolls are sure to be sorely disappointed, especially when the kids want to “help.”

DeRoche knows this all too well. “Uh, imagine, if you will, a flower factory just exploding in your house, okay?” she says. “And then wild wildebeests.”

DeRoche followed up the popular video with even more things she thought she’d enjoy as a parent that she truly does not including playing pretend, amusement parks, birthday parties, recitals, and seeing a kid’s art at school.

Several TikTok users commented on DeRoche’s videos with their own epiphanies when it came to parenthood moments they were duped into thinking should be enjoyable.

“I spent my entire pregnancy and the 1st year of my son's life looking forward to spending time in the kitchen together. I hate it so so much,” one mom wrote.

Another confessed, “Other parents! I do not like them. Thought I would be a PTA sorta person because I am involved and type A, but I cannot stand these feckers.”

“I thought I would love chaperoning field trips. NOPE,” another vented.

Some people chimed in on the videos, noting that DeRoche’s list was helpful but terrifying. “As first time parent of a 2 y/o, every video in this series unlocks a new fear for me.”

“What can I say except you’re welcome,” DeRoche replied.

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