Some parents have the coveted privilege of living close to family, and at times, that family will help in a pinch with babysitting. Some grandparents find it a privilege to be able to watch their grandkids on a semi-regular basis. However, it’s important to not take advantage of free childcare and burn family members out.
Maybe especially if you have triplets.
For one Reddit user (who also happens to be the uncle to triplet nephews), he’s already felt the stress from watching the kids and went out of his way to make sure he didn’t get stuck babysitting them again. Now, his family is upset with him, and he’s wondering if he’s in the wrong.
The 23-year-old uncle prefaces in the popular “Am I The A**hole” subreddit that for previous family vacations, he’s been stuck helping out and babysitting the kids. At one point, he even had to share a room with his nephews while their parents had a separate kid-free room.
“I had to move out of my parents' house because I kept being forced to help watch my three nephews,” he wrote.
“Last year, we took a family vacation in summer to the coast. I rode along with my parents, and they paid for my hotel room. Only, I had to share that room with three rowdy boys because my sister and her husband wanted a room to themselves.”
When he voiced his annoyance with the situation, his family clapped back that he should be grateful he got a free vacation. To avoid any sort of tit-for-tat, the OP decided he was going to pay his own way for their upcoming family vacation.
When he explained his desire to pay for his own share of the trip, his family tried to get him to change his mind — clearly under false pretenses — hoping their live-in babysitter would still be around and under their thumb.
“My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me that I'll be ruining the vacation if I'm off doing my own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys. I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess. I didn't really get to do much of anything I wanted to do. And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to just go to an art gallery. I'm a grown man. I deserve my own vacation too,” he wrote.
He continues on, writing that after the blow-up with his sister, she iced him out. However, in the meantime, his parents are still trying to get him to come along with them for the sake of the vacation.
“I'm still refusing. But the pressure is getting to me. AITA for not giving in? I know they'll have a pretty hard time when they won't have another person there to help,” he concluded.
To no surprise, Redditors flooded the OP’s post with words of affirmation and assurance that he was definitely, in absolutely no way, the a**hole.
“NTA. In fact, you're nicer than I would be; I'd just say ‘no thanks; I've got other plans’ and avoid the family vacation altogether,” the top commenter wrote.
Another echoed, “NTA Do not give in. It's time to stand your ground. This internet stranger is proud of you. Holy s**t. Never in the history of AItA has there been such a clear-cut case of Golden Child and Scapegoat, and I've seen some doozies.”
“NTA. As a mom of 3 rowdy boys myself, you aren’t doing anything wrong. Your sister is a parent, so it’s her job vacation or not to parent her kids. You’re child free and should be allowed to enjoy your vacation without being a babysitter. Your sisters vacation is only ruined by her choice to have children,” another top comment said.
After the Reddit post blew up — with over 37k upvotes and 6k comments — the OP gave an update on the situation, and it took a turn for the worse.
“It's barely been an hour since I posted. But my sister is apparently a reddit lurker in the mornings, and she saw my post. Not only is she furious with me. But she's also upset no one in the comments is siding with her,” he wrote.
“To make it short, she went on a big rant about how it's so hard to be a parent to triplets. And the least I could do is help because I'm young and single, and she needs a break. I stood my ground on my decision, and now she's calling our parents to get them involved. I'm expecting a call from them any minute.”
In another update, the OP wrote that because of all the family drama, the entire vacation had been cancelled.
“...my parents are arguing with my sister, my sister is blaming me, and my nephews are crying because they aren't going to the beach. My sister called me at lunch and basically implied I have no life, which is why I have time to help. I recorded that and told our parents, and that's currently what they're fighting about,” he wrote.
In a final update, the OP wrote that after going back and forth with his parents, they finally saw his side of the situation and promised to never push babysitting his nephews on him again.
As for the OP’s sister, it sounds like she’s still stewing.
Red the entire Reddit thread here.