Paris Hilton’s cooking video is adorably hilarious
No matter how you feel about Paris Hilton, you cannot watch her new YouTube cooking show and be anything less than entirely entertained. She’s funny and as over-the-top as her dog’s french maid costume and it’s honestly comedy gold.
During the 15-minute YouTube video, Hilton cooks a lasagna. That’s it. Anyone who has ever cooked a lasagna knows it’s one of the easiest things in the world to make and you can’t really mess it up. I’ll also say that when she makes her “infamous” lasagna, it looks pretty delicious, but the preparation is where the hilarity, and confusion, comes in.
Hilton and her dog walk into her kitchen and they greet us by saying: “As you all know – well, maybe not all of you know – people who do know, know that I’m an amazing cook.” OK, got it. But she seems to be mystified by some of the ingredients before her making those watching feel as if it’s the first time she’s seeing this kitchen in her life. But her dog, Diamond Baby, is “killing it in her apron,” and that’s all that’s really important.
Hilton’s first hurdle is realizing she’s been given the type of lasagna noodles that need to be boiled versus the ones that you can just “put in the oven and don’t have to steam or anything.” She then shows her fans all the ricotta she’ll be using whilst constructing the lasagna but then says we probably shouldn’t use that much.
Then, it’s on to mozzarella-gate because she was clearly expecting pre-grated cheese but was gifted a block instead. “This is so brutal” she complains, before throwing the block of cheese away because the grater could possibly massacre her semi-gloved fingers. “I’m scared I’m gonna start grinding my fingers off,” says the celebrity-turned-chef. “That’s why I wear my chef gloves. They’re usually for sliving [slaying + living your best life], but now that it’s 2020, you’re still gonna see sliving, but sliving it in a different way.”
I cannot make this up, she is an actual genius. You want to stop watching. You think you’ll only watch it for 30 seconds until you find yourself a fully committed 15 minutes in wondering when she’ll drop her next video. (It better be soon, dammit.)
She finally manages to complete the cooking process after a battle over onions and garlic and the entire video makes your day just a little bit better. No one knows why. It just does.
If you’re now considering making some lasagna for dinner, please heed Hilton’s advice so you know what you’re in for: “Lasagna’s, like, very hard to make. Well, actually, I don’t think it is, but people think it is, but it’s actually really fun and really easy. But I guess it is a lot of steps compared to making toast or something.”
She is magic.