Pink says couples therapy is “only reason” she and husband Carey Hart are still together
There is a common assumption, or stereotype, that if a couple is in therapy together, it spells trouble. However, I like to think that when two people decide to go to couples therapy, they’re just realizing their limitations and saying, ‘Hey, let’s get someone else in here to help us out.” Which is why it’s awesome and profound that Pink just opened up on Instagram about her and husband Carey Hart’s longterm experience in couples therapy, and why she credits it for saving their marriage.
Pink went on Instagram Live with the therapist she’s been seeing since she was 20 and got real about going to couples therapy with her husband, saying “without [a therapist] translating for me for the last 18 years, we would not be together.”
Last year Pink revealed in an interview that she and Hart have been in therapy together for 17 years, almost the entire duration of the relationship, and the singer has always been honest about the ups and downs in her marriage, even writing in a wedding anniversary post that their relationship “isn’t perfect”. But through all the trials, the couple relied on therapy, which Pink says is the “only reason” they are still together.
“We are not taught as kids how to have relationships, how to get along with people,” Pink told her therapist Vanessa Inn during the IG Live. “I mean, what’s happening in our country right now is a perfect example of that. We don’t know how to love each other, we don’t know how to get along, we don’t know how to communicate.”
“I think partners, after a long time — I can’t say it’s a man and woman thing, I think it’s a partner thing, a spouse thing — you just speak two different languages,” Pink explained.
She went on to give an anecdote about a time that she complained about Hart not “hearing her emotionally” but when push came to shove, she realized she wasn’t being 100% truthful either.
“I had been complaining about him for years about how he’s just not present, he’s not here, he doesn’t get it, he’s not hearing me emotionally, he’s not even trying to understand my language,” she said. “And [the therapist] was like, ‘OK, everybody shut up, stand up, put your hands on each other’s hearts and just look into each other’s eyes.'”
Pink said they did as the therapist said, but instead of welcoming her husband finally being “present” with her, Pink “started giggling” and “looked away.” “In that moment I realized that I was a little bit full of shit,” Pink added.
Personally, I love therapy and my partner and I call up the couples therapist when we need it, because my attitude is why argue with your partner like two squabbling idiots when there are professionals out there whose literal job description is to work that shit out with you. If you’re willing to pay someone to paint your toenails but not willing to pay someone to help you deal with your brain, I don’t know what to tell you. The fact that Pink is out here normalizing therapy for her nearly eight million followers is awesome. Listen to Pink, just go to the damn therapist.