Jessie J Says She Was In 'Work Mode' When She Revealed She'd Miscarried

Jessie J opened up about why she revealed she’d suffered a miscarriage so soon afterwards, sharing, “‘The show must go on’ mentality reacted before the human in me did”

Late last month, singer Jessie J took to Instagram to share that she’d suffered a miscarriage a day prior, revealing both that she’d been trying to have a baby on her own and that she learned there was “no longer a heartbeat” after a routine prenatal visit with her doctor. In the since-deleted post, the U.K. native explained that she decided to share the news with fans as she’d planned perform her first live shows in two years soon after. She stated that the sadness was “overwhelming,” adding “I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know.”

Now, Jessie is opening up about why she shared her story so soon after it happened, revealing that she “reacted in work mode” and thought she had to explain to the audience of her show why she might have been “a little off” during her performance. She shared a stunning close-up clip of herself singing her song “Easy on Me,” during the Los Angeles concert shortly after she revealed she’d miscarried. Alongside a gallery of quotes and a picture of herself as a toddler, she gave a candid update about what she’s been going through in recent weeks.

“I posted about losing my baby just hours after I was told,” she began in her caption. “I reacted in work mode. It’s safe to say I sometimes pour more energy into creating an unhealthy process of my own pain in front of a camera, than I do acknowledging it behind one in real time. ‘The show must go on’ mentality reacted before the human in me did.”

She admitted her “first thought” was “I must justify to the audience for my show tomorrow, and explain to the world why I might be a little off,” adding, “I must turn this into a inspirational, I know I will be ok, strong moment, because that’s who I am right?”

“I truly now understand why women so often talk about the want and need for miscarriage to be openly spoken about more,” she continued. “What people think it is, is in fact not a true reflection of what it really is at all. How can people support when they don’t know?”

Opening up about her own experience, she wrote, “I have never experienced physical pain and trauma or felt loneliness like it. This has changed me forever. In the most, heartbreaking, but beautiful way. It’s put life into perspective in a way nothing else ever has.”

Speaking directly to fans and followers who have experienced similar heartache, she added, “I am so sorry if you have ever been through it alone or not, or are going through it right now at any stage of pregnancy. Losing your baby is one of the worst feelings in the world. I ache for you. If I could I would bring you food, hold you through the physical pain, I know that’s needed more than a ‘stay strong’ text right now.”

“I guess I’m here to say to anyone who may not have been told this, you are allowed to be broken. You are allowed to cry. Allowed to be weak. Allowed to be exhausted from the pain and the bleeding and the grief that barely has space to exist. You are allowed to do this however YOU need to. Sometimes life just calls us to be human. We know there will be sunshine, but we can’t avoid the rain.”

Wise words indeed.