From The Confessional: Pretending This Country Isn't Racist Is Not An Option

by Team Scary Mommy

If we’re looking for a silver lining to these horrific Trump years (and yes, you reeeeaaaally have to look for it), it’s that he exposed the ugly underbelly of racism that still very much permeates our culture. Personally, I had no idea it was still this bad—two decades into the 21st century. As a white woman, I naively thought we’d come so far as a society, and that most of the hate directed towards others due to their ethnicity or skin color was in the past.

Clearly, I was wrong. I had been enjoying the privilege that my skin color affords me. I hadn’t seen it firsthand, and racism isn’t something that impacted my day-to-day life, so I selfishly didn’t give it much thought. Now, as a 41-year-old mom of three privileged, white children whose early childhood years passed under a Trump presidency, I know better. I see that there is serious work to be done. And that it’s on us—those who can move about society without having to think about our skin color—to work for change so that all Americans can live safely and freely, as they have the right to do.

So, thanks, Trump… I guess?

This is all bullshit. All of it. The racism, the politics, high cost of living, the endless work grind, the entire world is on fire. Life should not be this hard. Parenting and depression are kicking my ass.

Confessional #25847927

The fact that people believe in reverse racism makes me want to punch a hole through a cinderblock wall.

Confessional #25817265

I can't understand why so many people are hell bent on keeping racism and discrimination alive. It makes me sick. I wish they would all die of hate poisoning.

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I need to stay off of social media for my own mental health. The mental gymnastics that people do to justify their racism is infuriating.

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If you’re angry at the blatant racism you’ve seen, particularly in recent years, good. We’re angry too. Let’s do something about it.

Ever since my in-laws started obsessing over Trump and guns, thanks to Fox News, I don't give a shit about the in-laws. They're okay with turning a blind eye to racism? Nah. I'll pass.

Confessional #25836652

Tired of Trump, Q-Anon, etc, ruining lives. I have experienced more racism in 4 years than I have experienced in 20. Fuck trump and his stupid fucking supporters.

Confessional #25805091

I am a POC living in deep red Trump Nation.. ive been harassed, yelled at, cursed at, and spit on. I live in fear. No im not living in the stix, i live in an affluent suburban neighborhood. Racism isnt just a rural problem its in our own backyards

Confessional #25804230

The charismatic christianity movement makes me feel ill - Basically responsible for enabling racism, sexism and trumpism in my home state.

Confessional #25830479

We’ll unfortunately be feeling the “Trump effect” for years to come, but maybe that’s what we needed. A swift kick in the ass. A reminder that we aren’t “done” with fighting for civil rights for all. The realization that Black and brown Americans often live in a far different United States than white Americans. We all took a breath of relief when that monster didn’t get re-elected, but the truths his presidency uncovered must still be dealt with.

As a black white collar professional, it is a form of racism when educators/parents in my white suburb make a bigger deal about my children's accomplishments than white children's same accomplishments. It's patronizing and a form of tokenism.

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This country (us) is so filled with sickness and racism. I am so tired of being a mother in this culture

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I can’t stop reading the news even though it makes me sick. DDs were born when I foolishly believed things were changing for the better, but the infection of sexism, racism, and toxic Christianity was just growing underneath, eating away at their future.

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As parents, we’re tired and frustrated and angry and scared. We want a better world for our kids, so we need to do our part to make it so.

The older she gets, the more my mom's racism and homophobia come out. She's not who I thought she was, and I'm so dissappointed in her.

Confessional #25829386

now going into early part of month 2 with no calls to or from mom. enjoying it for however long it lasts. the political rants, negativity, racism, misogyny is not missed. now if she would just pass into the great beyond.

Confessional #25798305

Sad, but relieved MIL is not talking to me after tell her I support BLM and the protests for reform and equality. I love her, but cannot tolerate racism.

Confessional #25785369

Some of us realized for the first time that our parents are racist. (Some of us always knew.) Either way, it’s heartbreaking, but we can’t let that hatred infiltrate our lives or our children’s lives.

My white boyfriend is blind to racism and sexism. I have to discuss these things with our two biracial kids.

Confessional #25829210

if i suddenly had $$ of my own life would change. i'd move to a more enlightened place and live a more modern lifestyle. right now i live in a conservative backwards place where racism and patriarchy rule. seems nice on the surface, but it's UGLY.

Confessional #25829059

As a woman of color, if I’d known where this country would be right now I wouldn’t have married a white man. It’s exhausting trying to explain racism to him all while knowing our kids will live it and he still won’t get it.

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Unfortunately, many of our neighbors, friends, and family members don’t want to see it. It’s easier to turn a blind eye and not face this ugliness head-on. But avoiding our nation’s racism makes us just as culpable as those who actively promote it.

So yes, the rise of Trumpism in the United States will forever be a dark, embarrassing, heartbreaking period in our nation’s history. But it did expose an ugly truth many of us hadn’t known was there. We like to talk about the progress and victories of the Civil Rights Movement, but the truth is, we are still very much living in a country that’s not too different from the one of years past. And now, it seems that governors and mayors and superintendents of schools are trying to wash away vital discussion of the ways that racism impacts our society—and that should alarm everyone.

Turning away from this problem will not make it go away. Pretending this country isn’t racist, and justifying that racism behind the veil of religion aren’t acceptable options. All of our children deserve a better future than that.