Sean Spicer Was A Hot Mess On Dancing With The Stars

by Valerie Williams

Sean Spicer is on “Dancing With the Stars” and just… why?

If you happened to tune in to Dancing With the Stars last night and thought you might get a little fluff TV time in before nodding off and not some kind of rage/secondhand embarrassment cocktail, then you were sadly mistaken. For last night marked the debut of former White House press secretary Sean Spicer and his horrifically hideous, neon, ruffle shirt. Oh, and abysmal dance skills. The whole thing was honestly a heated catastrophe you have to see to believe.

In case you thought there was no way The Spice Girls (Sean Spicer.. get it?) could ever be ruined for you, behold — Spicer and his partner, Season 25 champion Lindsay Arnold, performing to “Spice Up Your Life.”

We can’t imagine Posh, Ginger, Sporty, Baby, or Scary green-lit this horror show, because OMG. Once seen, it cannot be unseen and the literal only possible silver lining here is the possibility of Melissa McCarthy doing her own version of this complete disaster on an upcoming episode of SNL.

One judge told him, “You looked like you were being attacked by a swarm of wasps,” and even Arnold admitted he was basically the worst. “His dance ability is at like a pre-pre-school level, and he definitely isn’t natural at it,” she said as they rehearsed. He received a score of 12 out of 30 and we can only assume all of those points were mistakes because the judges were temporarily blinded by that shirt.

We have to live in a world now where we’ve seen Sean Spicer do a creepy little shimmy in tight, white pants and a radioactive waste-colored shirt with a big, dumb grin on his face. Happy Tuesday.

Naturally, all of Twitter ahem took note of his performance.

And some people were just really upset that we’re even having a laugh over someone who did considerable damage to our democracy in his brief tenure with the Trump administration. Like, nothing about this man is funny, really. But we’ll still mock that shirt for the rest of our lives.

Also, a really depressing reminder that despite his status of being universally loathed, the dude is laughing all the way to the bank. Everything is terrible up to and including that highlighter yellow-colored bullshit.

Oh, and Spicer, along with former governor Mike Huckabee, somehow tied the fact that everyone hates him into some bizarre rant about standing for Christ. Alright then.

Can someone just let us know when he’s voted off so we can watch without being totally horrified?