From The Confessional: When Your Sex Drive Has Left The Building

by Team Scary Mommy
Originally Published: 

Raise your hand if sex is just another item on your to-do list these days, and you just don’t have the mental or physical energy.

If that sounds like you, check out the Scary Mommy Confessional where you’ll find endless similar stories of frustration, being touched out, and needing to be left alone. Hopefully our sex drive will return some day when we aren’t drowning in babies and toddlers and pull-ups and sippy cups, but until then, we need a space to safely vent and be reminded that we aren’t alone in our desperation for solitude.

Confessional #25765726

“I’m sick of my husband always thinking it’s cute to sneak in when I’m in the shower. Seriously every time I poop I have to hold the bathroom door handle just to make sure he doesn’t come in, because if I’m in the bathroom it means I’m sexy in the shower.”

Sometimes we really just want to poop in peace. Please let us.

Confessional #2075935

“Sex is like, ‘great…one more person climbing all over me.’ After the constant tending to a needy toddler I don’t want to be touched by H.”

Touched. Out.

Confessional #25769387

“I’m working 2 jobs, raising my kids (6 of them) with a horrible ex and my bf still wants me to be attentive to all his needs?!? Are you kidding me? I don’t even have time to pee let alone have sexy time with you! I want sleep!”

Sorry, buddy, but no.

Confessional #25767231

“I enjoy sex with my husband but when he brings it up the first thing I think is ugg.. I just want to relax or go to sleep.”


Confessional #25769916

“I look forward to my period because my hubby isn’t into period sex. So when I’m on it I don’t have to have that nightly mental battle between wanting to get my freak on and wanting to go to sleep as soon as the kids do!”

Yay, periods!

Confessional #25763616

“H is so rude about sex. Look sometimes I don’t want to when you do. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore. It just means, I’m tired, sick, sick of being touched, etc.”

Have some compassion and maybe we’ll be more in the mood next time.

Confessional #25766080

“SHIT – now that DH is dieting and losing weight, he’s getting his boner back, and wanting to use it! Looks like I’ll have to fatten him up again if I want some peace and not have constant sex.”

*cooks 10 lbs. of pasta

Confessional #25769549

“I like having smelly gas b/c then sex isn’t ‘expected.'”

*eats all the cheese

Confessional #25766545

“I’d rather sit down and be on the brink of death by chocolate than have sex with H.”

Sorry, not sorry.

Confessional #25770209

“DH took out the trash without being asked and now wants sex because he ‘did good today.’ Let the barfing commence.”

That’s not how this works.

Confessional #25769644

“H and I have not had sex since DD was conceived. She is almost 5. I am, surprisingly, ok with this fact.”

Being on the same page is the best.

Confessional #25766408

“I want to not have sex on my birthday. I hate sex.”

That is NOT a birthday present.

Confessional #25762574

“The thing that sucks about being married is the expected sex…on birthdays, Christmas, New Years, Tuesdays (lol), etc.”

Tuesdays suck.

Confessional #25770193

“I wish my DH had ED (erectile dysfunction) while I am going through menopause. Sex hurts and I am not interested.”

Why can’t we get on the same biological calendar, FFS?

Confessional #25767595

“I have an amazing, gorgeous, kind, loving husband and I want to want to have sex but by the end of the day, and the kids, and work, and cleaning the house, and paying the bills, and trying to find a moment to myself, and…”

It’s all too much.

Confessional #25766549

“I pray each night that my husband is not going to want sex. There is nothing in it for me and it is another example of taking care of everyone else’s needs and never being cared for. How about you give me a massage instead- ha! That’s not ever happening.”

Not sure he even knows the word “massage.”

Confessional #25769624

“How can I explain that I love my DH but have no interest in sex. I don’t find groping me as I walk by a turn on. I don’t find you shaking your half limp dick at me a turn on. How do you tell them to show some interest in you besides the end result of sex.”

Seriously. NOT SEXY.

So if you’re also not feeling the sex vibes these days, especially after wiping poop off tiny butts and refereeing fights over the PJ Masks bowl all day long, we get it. If you’re wondering where TF the sex drive of your 20s went because it’s nowhere to be found anymore, we get it. If you’re tired of your SO doing one single thing to help around the house and then shooting you raised eyebrows from across the room while you literally leak breastmilk through your shirt, we get it.

Share your story in our Confessional and remember that your sexy beast is still in there. She might be buried reeeeeeeally deep, but she’s in there.

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