There are times we are all scrolling mindlessly on our phones without seeing a thing then, something pops up and makes us pay attention.
Hello, I’m awake now.
If you haven’t heard of it (I had not but I’m always willing to try something new), it’s called the Venus Butterfly.
It didn’t matter that I hadn’t really seen anything I’d been looking at for the past two hours. I was certainly focused now.
When it comes to sex, vulva owners of the world know it’s difficult to achieve an orgasm through vaginal intercourse. In fact, only about 25% of us rise to crescendo during the sex alone.
Um, clearly a quarter of us isn’t enough. Who wants to eat a quarter of a scoop of ice cream or to watch a quarter of their favorite show?
That means 75% of the vagina-owning population ain’t getting their fill from a ride alone, if you know what I’m saying. I am in that group and it seems like no matter what I do, who I do, or how I do them, my body doesn’t want to orgasm unless I get some stimulation on my clitoris. This also means you need to spice it up and find different ways to flick and lick in order to get the muffin glazed — not to mention when you find something that works it makes you, and your partner, happy.
So, when I hear there is a sex position out there that was designed for the precious vulva, I want to spread it far and wide. By that I mean I want to inform other vulva owners, but I also want to try it out for myself ASAFP.
I’m pleased (and I do mean pleased) to report that the Venus Butterfly is as beautiful as it sounds (I’ve had three orgasms this week, thank you). It’s also very comfortable for the receiver, which is an added bonus.
In 1988, this position was described in the book, The One Hour Orgasm: How to Learn the Amazing “Venus Butterfly” Technique, written by Leah and Bob Schwartz. According to the book, “The giver stimulates the receiver’s clitoris or the hood, with the penis at the two-o’clock or ten-o’clock position. The book suggests keeping the clitoral shaft steady with one thumb laid gently along and beside it, with the other thumb lying lengthwise just within the vagina but not moving deep within it. (All of this is done using a lubricant.) The light pressure continues using the same speed throughout until a peak is reached close to orgasm but not quite (although it can be continued if multiple orgasms are the goal), then the speed is slowed down even further or stopped, but very soon continued again and the person is brought back near orgasm or given a second or third orgasm.”
Okay, well that sounds like a fun game … but it doesn’t end there. That’s just one way to enjoy it. According to Men’s Health, it’s great for oral sex as well. The receiver lies on their back with their legs spread and positioned like a butterfly’s wings which allows “optimal access to the vulva and vagina with their mouth, hands, and toys” as the giving partner kneels between the legs. See graphic here.
“Stimulation of multiple sites is extremely important for vulva-owners’ pleasure,” says Play.
Now if you are thinking this is just a fancy missionary position, you are right. That’s good news for everyone since that seems to be a standard night of loving because it makes it less intimidating. The only difference here is you have your legs up and can rest them gently on your partner to allow exclusive access to all your wonderful parts.
Spice it up with toys and fingers while you are receiving oral and you will be a believer as you watch your orgasm go through the beautiful metamorphosis, because this position really does intensify orgasm for some — but keep in mind everyone’s bodies are different and we all enjoy different things. So, if the Venus Butterfly doesn’t feel right to you, try something else. Life is too short for a sex position that doesn’t feel good to you.
Now if you’ll excuse me, my partner said he was in the mood to catch some butterflies — I believe that’s my signal.