When I got pregnant with my third son I heard so many people tell me that three kids wasn’t the best idea because there will “always be one that’s left out.” My ex-husband and I were literally told we should just have four kids to even it up, because three siblings was bad news.
Well, that didn’t end up happening and we somehow managed to have three kids whose “fighting” is limited to maybe a few arguments a year.
“Do they always hang out together like that?” asked one of my friends as we were spying on my two younger kids as they walked around our local fair.
“Yeah,” I told her. “They have pretty much been inseparable since Jack was born.”
That morning, one of Jack’s friends (my youngest child) came over to hang out with him before we headed out to this long awaited event. I could smell perfume wafting down the stairs and could hear my son’s friend laughing with my daughter. The two of them became quick friends after Jack introduced them and I worried he would be upset about that.
I was wrong, though — the three of them were having a great time upstairs getting ready and it was as if he completely expected to share his friend with his sister.
I watched them walk around together on the dirt fairground with their little backpacks, clutching their phones. I wasn’t exactly sure whose friends were whose — they were all in a cluster, laughing and hopping from ride to ride.
The one thing that stood out to me was the respect and closeness my two kids had for each other, even in front of their friends.
I have three teenagers who are very close in age: 17, 16, and 14, and they literally don’t fight or argue. I’m not saying this to brag, nor do I think I’ve had much to do with it. Somehow, my ex-husband and I got very lucky in this department.
Growing up, my sister and I fought. We fought about friends, clothes, and who took the longest in the bathroom. We were close, but we could rip each other a new asshole in a matter of seconds.
I know fighting and arguing among siblings is normal, natural and part of life, so I have no idea how I dodged this bullet, but I can safely say that my kids don’t argue (much) or fight, and they hopefully never will.
I don’t worry about things when I leave them home alone. There isn’t an issue when one of them has a friend over — they are more than happy to share friends. Maybe that’s due to the fact they always had to share me and their father because they were born so close together, or maybe they all came out of my womb ultra resilient. Either way, I’ll take it.
A few weeks ago my oldest son had his girlfriend over and she was busy hanging out with his siblings and it didn’t faze him.
He’s more than happy to give his younger siblings a ride if they need to go somewhere and when his sister goes in his room and steals his clothes without asking he doesn’t bat an eye. Instead he says, “Make sure you give it back, kid,” and all is well.
This makes me happy because my life is really easy in this area. But more than that, it warms me to the damn core every time I stop and notice how much they actually like each other and how much time they spend together. There is nothing that can tear up a mom like watching their kids go after each other (so I’m told) and I completely get that.
If they didn’t get along and there was always tension and fighting, it would break me.
The best part about their closeness is I have such a strong feeling of peace because I know they have such a great foundation that I really hope follows them into adulthood.
I am not going to be here forever, and having siblings who you are close to and can count on and trust is everything. I have that with my siblings (even though we fought growing up) and it is such a comfort to know we will always be there for each other.
Things aren’t peaches and sunshine all the time over here, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t realize what a gift it is — for me and for them — to have three kids who are close and really like spending time together. You can’t put a price on that.